Conversation foot-in-mouths

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I worked in a travel agency, my dept. handled the reservations made by smaller travel agencies that used our computer reservation system.

One particular reservation had been really messed up by someone in our office.. and the travel agent I was helping on the phone had worked with us (and me) for years and we knew each other pretty well and joked a lot on the phone.

I dont remember how we got to this but it was all fixed and he was saying something like

'you should find her and do something so she doesnt do this again'

and I dont know WHY THE HECK I replied

'haha yeah ill go over to her desk and slap her'

*silence*

'uh.. not that ill do that.. *speaking quickly* never mind bad joke...'

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thankfully he was one of those super-laid back kind of people but DAMN i was so embarrased I came across as some sort of woman beater that day.


But it doesnt beat a Faux Pass that I witnessed in blockbuster a few years ago.

Mom with her 3 daughters (about 6 to 14 yrs old) going around the store picking movies, I was in line waiting for the cashier...

when I hear one of the girls running on one end of the store (her mom was on the other end), I turn my head and see the girl raise her hand with a movie and waving it.. the movie box had the face of Richard Nixon on it..

and the little girl yelled across the store:

MOM YOU WANT ME TO GET DICK TONIGHT?

*the store goes silent*

there wasnt one face in that store that wasnt doing their best to contain their laughter.

(the name of the movie.. was DICK).

aya yay....

I accidently insulted my brother's girlfriend. She is actually quite pretty and I helped her put pink streaks in her blonde hair. They were pretty cute and my brother said "I hate them. They're ugly" and I said "Well you just don't ahve good taste in women."

To me it made sense to say that because I was saying he didn't have good taste in what they should wear or how they look... I ended up in my room the rest of the time...

Oh, I had the worst case last summer at my temp job...I was working in a permit office, ok?

So a coworker who I knew introduced me to another guy in the office, who asked me, "Do you aspire to be a plan checker?" (which was their job)

"No, no," I said, "actually I want to teach so..." I laughed. "Yeah, it has nothing to do with this."

He didn't laugh, he just said, "Oh."

So I felt bad, like I would have nothing to do with their job or something, so to make up for it I said, "No, no! But I'm really proud there are people like you two, because..."

(And what I was thinking was saying that it takes every kind of person, or something like that, but I didn't quite know how to word it.)

So I said, "...I mean, personally I could never do this job."

What I meant was that I didn't have the skills for it, while they were great at it, but it sounded like I was really disrespecting their job!

I was so humiliated, I basically just fled and I beat myself up about it for hours straight. I can never get my thoughts out properly in these situations...

Hrmph. One evening at work, we were working with four people instead of just the usually three. It was myself, and three girls. So, when I was doing dishes with one of the girls, I said "This is so awesome! I always wondered what it would be like to be with three girls at in one night!". And honest to god, I didn't mean it as a joke. Thankfully she started laughing instead of freaking out.(she's pretty laid back.)

I've had a rather embarrassing moment from someone else. I was sitting in the office during my break talking with the office girl when someone came in to visit and started talking about her son, who was working at Bob Evans. So I said I was thinking about picking up a second job there as a line cook, which would fit right into my alley as a culinary student. Then the visitor turned and looked at the office girl and said "Well, at least you'll never have to cook anything!" And we were both like uhhhhh. (She's 17 and I'm 25. And what's worse, I look like I'm in my 30s so I don't know how she would think that, er, what?)

My one was just a few days ago with a relative i have not seen for a few years because she lives in America.
Shes had been over for about a week and she was telling me and my mother how bad her allergy was and was wondering what it could be.I thought about washing powder because i know how that stuff can have bad effects when you change brands(i get really itchy).So i thought maybe she had washed her clothes in something and that could be why her eyes where running and things.So i just asked her "Have you washed your clothes since you got here?"there was quiet then they both laughed.To them it sounded like i was saying my auntie had bad hygeine and was setting her own allergys of or something.

My sons foot in mouth are the biggest.
He said to my mother "you look younger with your hair like that,well your hair looks younger untill you look at your face".

My biggest blunders where when i was younger i once told my nan she looked like Jack Sprats wife because she looked so big and round and then i read Jack Sprat to her i really had no idea and to me she really did look like the woman in the Jack Sprat book.