Talking to people who are "more Aspie" than you

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This is a great topic.

I have problems with my friends. They are not AS , they choose to lead a nonproductive life. They do have some obvious psych issues OCD, etc but have never been to see a therapist for them so they do noy have the ability to admit "hey I'm doing something a bit off."

WHile having AS can make you "fly paper for freaks" My problem is when someone has a problem but will not admit it . How many WP people do you see make a blunder in a thread get called on it and then own up to it and apoplogize? THIS I can respect.

It hurts sometimes to be told I'm flying off topic but I appreciate when someone tells me so I can better make myself better understood. AS or NT I want a conversation with me to be a pleasant experience. I WANT to be able to hear others better.

If someone I'm talking to refuses to be open to being aware of thier social problems thats a minus.

I think you have it right AS people are flypaper for freaks. I notice more than not I attract the most depressed or else insane people there are plus the extreme OCD'ers, extreme rapid cycling Bi-Polars, drug and alcohol addicts and control freaks. Honestly I can't think of but one person I am acquainted with who isn't mental. Even the majority of people I work with have some major personality problem going on.

Oh and I have a new neighbor who I think is Aspie. He is extremely unfriendly, speaks to no one and has a permanant scowl on the face. I tried being friendly to him, but all he could do is growl at me. I'm sorry but AS still does not give anyone an excuse to be rude.

Is it because we can relate? We understand what its like to be an outcast?

In college I told my doctor the only people who said "hello" to me back as i would walk across the commons were Black students. He said thats because In the presence of a majority who ignore them a minority find it VERY important to acknowledge each other.
I said "but I'm not black!" I realized I was'nt exactly "white Majority material" either.

Anybody else get repeatedly mistaken for a tourist in thier own hometowns? Happens to me all the time.

( it's NOT a "rabbit trail" <tangent> it relates to the topic. )

I have met one other in real life who has told me that he has AS. He is "more aspie" than I am. He's fine with eye contact, which I am not. He often goes of on tangents about motorbikes and engines, though, which can be annoying. I mean, I don't know whether to tell him thats enough, or to let him continue to talk, or to try and join in the conversation. I know it's not his fault, but it really is hard to be around him sometimes. Other times, hes completely silent and I have to try and start the conversation, which usually fails anyway...or we both end up in hysterical laughter over how awkward it is lol

I know a girl in real life who is most likely an aspie. I mean, she is fine at talking, she always starts conversations...just the things that she says are VERY blunt and a bit random. Like last time I went to visit her, she started talking about her collection of witchcraft books and about spells etc...then 10 minutes later was talking about Age Of Empires, completely oblivious to the fact that I wasn't very interested. It's kind of hard because I do try to take an interest. In conversations at times it feels like the "blind leading the blind"...meaning that we don't progress.

If we could only get this guy in contact with my ex's brother both of them would be in heaven. My ex's brother is obsessed with his motorbikes, radio control cars and videogames. He is 45 and no one is his friend because he is into child-like things while his co-workers have a wife and kids to think about. He once bored me to tears talking about Lithium chain grease for his motorbike for 4 hours!! !




This is why I always say that Aspies need to watch what they talk about with others. As I have noticed many times because I analyze everything that Aspies tend to "talk at" not "talk to" people. That may be why so many Professors seem to have AS because they have finally succeeded in finding a forum where they can lecture a room full of people about their obsession and get away with it!

Perhaps because you are walking alone you think only blacks approach you. Perhaps they approach other white people walking alone saying a friendly "hello". As someone who is half Native American half white I can tell you that a dark skin person will not approach a group of whites to say hello. They only approach an individual. Also highly intelligent dark skin people often feel in the minority of the minority all their lives because they don't fit in with their own people and even their parents will make fun of them for being so intelligent. So once they get to college and break free of their family and community's reins they will go out of their way to be super friendly, nice to everybody. That is because they have felt so put down all their lives, like outcasts and they are trying to rectify that by being the best person they can be. Just recognize those people will relate to Aspies as outcasts.

Sometimes the best way to undo the negativity society has placed upon you is by being positive. Instead of worrying if you look like a tourist, start focusing on those you see in town that obviously are tourists and assist them if you can.

Some examples are- I live in a major tourist location--everybody across the globe knows what Walmart is and its the first big store off the interstate that a tourist would find. So I have run into a New Yorker who was trying to figure out how to get Sudafed because he had a bad cold. I explained to him the way the new Sudafed PE doesn't work good and told him to take the plastic cards that say Sudafed off the shelf and go to the pharmacy. I told him how Sudafed was now behind the counter. After he went and got the med from the pharmacist he hunted me down another aisle came over, thanked me, kissed me on the top of the head ( I can only assume he did that because I am so short and he was tall). It made his day, he was smiling and thankful because a stranger cared enough to assist him.

Another time at Walmart a Swede couldn't find something for his sore throat. I met him in the candy aisle and he asked me if Alloids would help his throat. I took him back to the cold medicine aisle instead and showed him which cough drops I thought worked the best and what flavors they were. I didn't know how well he read English so I told him this citrus flavor tastes like lemon-lime, etc. He thanked me profusely.

My Native American elders have explained this to me--everything you do in life comes back to you 10 times over. So do even little things to help strangers in a store, an elderly person, a friend or relative who is sick, pick up garbage at the lake or in a parking lot. If you do things to help others and think less about yourself and suddenly you get all kinds of people being nice to you in unexpected ways and you may find a neat new friend along the way. Don't sit back and expect it or think about it-- just do it and things will start happening.

Oh I don't mind being mistaken for a tourist. I live in Cincinnati after all. We don't get many tourists. Sometimes I wish we would. Cincinnatti is well known for being conservative, racist, anti arts, sports only and just unfriendly.

Example Race riots a few years ago after the umpteenth unarmed black was shot by a white officer and got away with it,the following black business embrargo, The Maplethorpe art exhibit twenty years back that was censored, A tax levy passed that made private taxes pay for the construction of TWO new sports stadiums, etc . . .

I really think that with the students who said hello back to me was that I merely acknowledged them and they did the same back. I remember after being confined to a wheelchair for a number of months how many people would go out of thier way to pretand they didnt notice me at the hopes of not seeming to stare.

REcentlly I worked as an actor extra and a make up guy on a film for two straight days. One of the actors had no arms. He had hooks for arms. I simply didnt notice. To the point I had to hand a chair to him at one point in the shooting and forgot he couldnt grasp it

I'm still in touch with him and some of the other people from that shoot, whenever someone can't remember the guys name they discribe him as the guy with the hook hands. I say OHHH you mean the dude with the trained actor dog! I found that more memorable.

I walked in on him talking to a group of performers I think about how he lost his arms. Someone had asked I supposed.I was working and only half listening. My only comment after he was done was " do the prosthetic hands you have at home have scupted on nails or are thay glued on seperately?" ( Special Intrest thing)