A close friend - what is it?

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Me too.

Magic, thanks for starting a good discussion here. Close friends have been few and far between for me. I lost my one remaining close friend early this year and I miss her deeply. The elements of a close friendship (for me) are first an intuitive compatibility - we are comfortable with each other to start with. Next there has to be an acceptance of me exactly as I am, and I must accept the other person as they are. Lastly there has to be love, a loaded word, but what I mean is an extension of oneself to another, wanting the other person to grow and be happy in themselves.

I know I am difficult to be friends with due to my sensory overload, withdrawal, moods and idiosyncrasies. But a very few people can put up with me and me with them, so that close friendship is possible. And I treasure it when it happens. One quality that my close friends must have is the ability to be quiet, just silent, enjoying whatever we are doing together without a constant conversation that drives me crazy.

Well said .

A close friend to me is simply some one who 'gets' me. That very rarely happens. But I feel lucky to be married to my closest friend- he just gets me completely.

erm.... I seem to have forgot mel

I'm off to sit in the corner now with my head in a bucket.

dunc

A close friend is someone who you can talk to about meaningful things and don't see you as a butt of some stupid joke prank and also someone you can relate to. A true friend also shows loyalty and is there for you thick and thin but I never really had that since before 1974 and even then they had quite severe learning disabilities and had language difficulties as well but they were people who I could have a laugh with. Allistic people on the other hand pretend to be my friend but are in fact not real friends because they take advantage of me and also just see me as a source of resources. Also leading to isolation and in my case isolation is compulsory.

This is an interesting concept. Even the people I feel closest to, I oftentimes don't feel like talking to them unless I have something concrete to talk about.

Most of the people I have considered friends in my life, are people I simply do things (e.g. activities) with.

Sometimes while engaging in that activity, we just talk about stuff related to that activity.

Sometimes, while engaging in that activity, my mind simply wanders (into my own little world).

Occasionally, I am lucky enough to be with someone who is a good talker and is interesting. In those rare situations, I can just listen attentively.

Oftentimes, when I do talk, it is simply to fill that void of silence, which feels awkward when you’re alone with someone else. Even someone you have known for many, many years.

Finally, I have discovered that I don’t have much in common with others. I have a hard time relating to what others are interested in. And, likewise, most people aren’t interested in what interests me.

This all makes me wonder. Can one have friends if one dislikes socializing?