I had no close friends in high school -- at best, there were kids that tolerated me, likely because the pitied me. There was one boy who might have been something more, but I was scared my reputation as a loser and the "crazy chick" would rub off on him and he would be tormented too (and this was with solid justification) so I discouraged that. I was horribly bullied simply because I was different. And there were kids who actively saw to it that I had no friends.
It hurt at the time, but it also gave me free time to pursue other pursuits. Because I wasn't spending my time hanging out with kids who were basically interested in the opposite sex, video games, discussion fashion, shopping, and trashing each other, and getting into trouble -- and they really didn't do much else -- I had an awful lot of free time on my hands.
I read. Today, I'm a writer.
I learned about computers in a time before the web existed -- today, I own a rather nice web site.
I learned about art, and photography. This has consistently benefited me.
I hiked. I fished. I went camping and backpacking with my parents. I gardened.
I found SF fandom, which, I swear, is about half aspie.
I would not be the person I am today if I had socialized with the sort of friends that were available in high school. In many ways, though it hurt very much at the time, and even though it still hurts, the bullies did me a favor.
And somewhere along the way, while pursuing my interests, I found friends. Lasting friends. People I can trust, people who value me and who I value deeply.
So -- it hurts now. I know it hurts. Been there, done that. But I promise, if you remember who you are, and hold your head high, and pursue those things that interest you ... you will find friends.
-- Leva
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