Do other people with AS feel this way about socializing?

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This one??

Last edited by KenM on 19 Oct 2005, 8:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm not sure what this 'smalltalk' is but I don't mind meeting cousins who can talk about programming

Large,noisy crowds make me nervous...

-SpaceCase

Ah, that'll be SmallTalk80 then

I occasionally like family gatherings because I get to see my extended family. And I can do my own thing so I do not need to hang around everyone. We have not had one for a long time though.

I think going to public functions is fun as long as you know the people very well.

Sometimes I can handle a little smalltalk, but I lose interest quite easily and know when I've had enough.

The worst of it is, I WANT to enjoy parties and things but I find it too difficult trying. Anybody else feel this way?

all the time and i keep going to them think they will get beter they never do

Sorry, I feel the oppisite. I just don't feel the need or want to do that type of stuff, never have, never will. I just don't see the point of peoples fake smiles, fake small talk just to be around other people for a party. I think part of myself feeling this way is I have accpeted myself for who I am, a person with AS. I like who I am, why change if you like who you are? No one is going to get me to go to those type of things if I don't want to go. In my first "real" relationship, this was a big issue, one we never got over. She was a social butterfly, always going to little get togethers all the time. I was always uncomfortable at them. But she ignored my feelings and kept dragging me to them. At the time I did not know I had AS, but looking back, I understand now.

LOL KenM!

Yes, that was one of them. I think there are 2 or 3 versions of that poster.

I get enough practice in meaningless (to me) social banter, and wearing social masks at work I have little interest spending my limited free time doing it.

Here is an example. A couple of Saturdays ago I finished a quiet evening of reading in my favorite subjects at a bookstore. Feeling very relaxed, I started walking back to my car. On the way to my car, I had to walk past one of the few local pickup restaurants/bars in my home town. It was noisy loud, and really ruinous to my relaxed mood.

I came to the conclusion that I feel intensely interconnected with others all of the time.
As such I feel little desire to engage in activities geared towards generating some false sense of connectedness in ways that I feel are damaging to my psychological well being.
I would rather sit in a quiet place and have really intense discussions on subjects I'm interested in with people I care about.

Not only is it horribly, awfully boring, but I get very stressed, panicky, desperate to escape, and invariably end up with a splitting headache and feeling physically ill afterwards. Even the coffe break or snack in the basement of a large church can do this to me...

I like weddings. And I like small talk. And if that makes me superficial, then so be it.

On those rare occasions that there is something of inerest for me socially at a social event, it is nearly impossible to convince my family that I'm not going for the food anymore. Oh well, it's been tasty.

If that was an authentic WWII poster, I want one!
(and a few others as well)