Do Aspies actually care about people?

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I asked him today (we're internet friends so none of this nonverbal stuff screwing things up) and he said he didn't. And it's funny because

(a) he's admitted to pretending to care about people to impress me, so it's definitely crossed his mind
(b) he claims to not care about people now
(c) he strongly sympathizes with school shooters, but that seems to be the only class of people he cares about, and I think it's because he strongly identifies with their loneliness and rejection by society.

P.S. A, you should post here

I care about people, but it's very difficult to show that I care. And at times I struggle to care. It might just be that I'm new to having friends, but I find I don't think much about them when I'm not with them. Even when buying Christmas presents for them I didn't care enough to, but did it as a friendly gesture.

My emotional intelligence is low and I've been on my own for most of my life, so I think that's a reason why I struggle to care about others.
Sometimes I don't even want to talk to my own mother. I just find people uninteresting. I have to really force myself to seem interested.

Although when my friend was describing a horrific car accident that she had that could have been fatal, I was glad that she was there sitting in front of me instead of still being in the hospital fighting for her life.

Sometimes I care so much it hurts. I think about the personal suffering of people around the world, due to war and poverty, and I feel deeply sad and pretty much helpless. Then again, I knit a wool hat for someone for the Afghans for Afghans charity, because I'm not entirely helpless. If I didn't feel empathy, I wouldn't have even considered knitting a hat for a total stranger, who will never know I exist. I knit the hat because I want another human being to be physically comfortable.

On the flip side, I feel elated and lifted by other people's triumphs.

When someone is experiencing some kind of pain or sadness, they might cry or yell, or something like that which can stress an aspie out. So, you stub your toe and let out a screaming string of obcenities, and the aspie runs out of the room or screams at you to shut up. It may seem like he doesn't care about your toe, when actually he just is freaked out by the yelling...and he doesn't feel the pain of the stubbed toe, so he might not realize what happened. I don't think that's the same as "not caring."

And in all fairness, I don't care about everyone's suffering all the time. There are many times when I just want to say, "Quit yer whingeing and get over it." But NT's do that too, ALL THE TIME.

When people describe Asperger's Syndrome, empathy and caring aren't usually part of the breakdown. Sorry to say it, but it's true. The Aspies I've come across are antisocial, uncaring, narcisistic. Some are even sociopathic, whch is frightening.

Ha!

Aspies are wired to be aloof, self-serving individuals.

Really? I find that many non-aspies are aloof self-serving jack asses whose only interest in others is what it will gain them, nothing specially aspie about being aloof or self-serving.

I tend to think that many aspies are highly sensitive individuals that have been harmed by self-serving asses so they retreat into a shell and put up a wall of not caring as self-preservation.

Fair enough.

You have to be joking...

Ugh.
Once upon a time being a female wasn't in the breakdown either.
Most of the Aspies I've come across are far from the ones that you describe.
Sociopathic - really?

I care, I just do not show it in a way that people define as "NT emotional caring". I find false caring sort of repulsive, but that seems to be what is asked of me. Somewhat like emotional diarrhea. When I try I get crap for not appearing genuine, when I don't try I get crap for not appearing genuine. It's like I can't win.

^

I am not sure if I really do care. I know I care but only because I know how it will effect me but I also go by how I want to be treated so I will treat others the way I want to be treated. If I don't like how someone will do X to me, I will not do X to others. I am also nice to people because I want to be a good person. I want to care.

Does wanting to care not already imply that you care?

Sociopathic? Doesn't that mean someone who is very *good* socially and understands what people want and how they feel but uses it to lie to and manipulate them? Aspies are CERTAINLY not sociopaths because many of them have a lot of trouble lying (well I do anyway), and they can't understand people enough to manipulate them. Yes sociopaths don't care about other people but there is a vast difference between their behaviour and an aspie's. If the aspie doesn't care it's not because they mean anything by it. In fact it is more likely they just don't understand.

We tend to act more out of practical consideration than direct empathy.

That is the way it is with me anyways.