Did you ever become friends with your bullies?

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AmberEyes
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31 Dec 2008, 5:43 pm

Yes.

I made friends with two older boys at High School who were teasing me. I think that they were doing it because they were incredibly bored and had nothing better to do with their time. It wasn't malicious or violent at all, just plain irritating by saying stupid things about me.

"Hmmm...," I thought: "Well if I can't beat 'em, I might as well join 'em!"

So that's exactly what I did!

I used a bit of charm. I complimented them on lots of things: their shoes, backpacks and stationery equipment. I said what a nice day it was and what nice people they were for coming to talk to me and say hello. I asked them how they were getting on in class and what their favourite subjects were. I said lots of things about them that weren't really true like how eloquent they were when speaking and what good conscientious Prefects they were! lol! I even helped them with some of the answers to their homework.:lol:

They were so impressed with my compliments that they offered to become my two bodyguards for the rest of the term. They didn't make fun of me anymore, but instead protected me from anyone who had intentions to beat me up or make fun of me. It was jolly useful having them around. They were tall and strong.

It was ever so funny. They said hello to all my friends too and offered them things like free passes to the front of the dinner queue or their sandwiches. :lol:

Those were the days! :lol:



princesseli
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31 Dec 2008, 10:50 pm

I know this dosent count but I made friends with a guy in college who was a sorta like another guy that used to bully me.



PrisonerSix
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05 Jan 2009, 1:25 pm

My wife once ran into one of her high school tormentors who was working as a cashier at a low end department store. This girl recognized her and started acting like she was glad to see her and then started telling my wife about how she had 3 kids and her boyfriend had just left and was having trouble making ends meet, etc., while my wife was working at a large private university and was doing well. My wife felt no sympathy for her bad situation, since this girl broke her nose and she still has problems with it all these years later.

I've run into two of my tormentors since finishing school. One was working at the customer service desk in a supermarket. He recognized me, but I didn't recognize him until he told me his name. When I told him about my government job, with it's benefits, paid sick, paid vacation, etc., he looked like he was a little down after that. Another one was a manager at a pizza place, and seemed to like what he was doing. Both of them acted like they were my friends, even though they made grades 8-12 a living hell for me. I just don't understand it.

I just know I could never be friends with these people, ever.


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Hovis
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07 Jan 2009, 11:06 am

PrisonerSix wrote:
My wife once ran into one of her high school tormentors who was working as a cashier at a low end department store. This girl recognized her and started acting like she was glad to see her and then started telling my wife about how she had 3 kids and her boyfriend had just left and was having trouble making ends meet, etc., while my wife was working at a large private university and was doing well. My wife felt no sympathy for her bad situation, since this girl broke her nose and she still has problems with it all these years later.

I've run into two of my tormentors since finishing school. One was working at the customer service desk in a supermarket. He recognized me, but I didn't recognize him until he told me his name. When I told him about my government job, with it's benefits, paid sick, paid vacation, etc., he looked like he was a little down after that. Another one was a manager at a pizza place, and seemed to like what he was doing. Both of them acted like they were my friends, even though they made grades 8-12 a living hell for me. I just don't understand it.

I just know I could never be friends with these people, ever.


How short people's memories can be. Either what they did meant so little to them, even though it ruined five years of your life, that they've genuinely forgotten. Or they were totally oblivious to how much they were hurting you at the time (which seems unlikely, since that's what they set out to do). Both possibilities, anyway, are equally shocking.

If I met somebody who used to bully me and they apologized for it - and I thought that they really did mean the apology - I would accept it and could be civil with them. But actively become friends with them? No. I couldn't have someone as a friend who I knew had it in them to treat someone like that, even if it was unlikely to be me again.



pint
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22 Feb 2009, 3:33 pm

no friendship, those guys where as*holes, not just because what they did to me, but simple as*holes on their own.

years later, one of them approached me, and asked a lot of questions about university. i was graduated already, and he was about to start. he collected hints and info about university life, and looked like he was in great fear. i helped him out politely with insights. he did not seem to be in any degree disturbed by the fact that he used to put food into my ears or on my hair for a good laugh. btw it was a good feeling. whatever successful they were in the classroom, in real life they sucked.



roadracer
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23 Feb 2009, 2:12 pm

Yes, one anyway, he was a childhood bullie. The thing is that we both grew up and are mature now (at least I think so). He is one of my best friends. What ever caused him to not be to kind to me as a kid I can say was because of immaturity then. It also helps that I almost never hold a grudge (I save that for the worst of them) people make mistakes, I know I have made plenty, and I am willing to give them another chance. I have been in fights with guys (nothing hitting), were we settled our differences, then 5 minutes later we where sitting at the bar having a drink. It is funny how these type of things can work out. Although there are plenty of bullies that never changed there way, and that I still hate very much.



MONKEY
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23 Feb 2009, 2:28 pm

That hasn't happened to me before, it actually happened the other way round once. In year 7 there was this boy who I thought was weird (hypocritical I know) and I used to wind him up a bit, but then I really liked him and we had loads in common, so we made friends


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Mophesh
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24 Feb 2009, 7:04 pm

Yeah, sometimes bullies from the past will try to make friends with me, but I just ignore them because I can't trust them.


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Cyanide
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24 Feb 2009, 8:35 pm

Nope, I ever became friends with any of them, nor do I think I will. One started being civil to me in high school though. 2 of them got thrown in jail for unrelated things (one for date rape and the other for bringing a gun to school). I don't know what happened to the other one though...

All except for the first one, they were genuinely screwed up people... I don't think they'll ever become people I would even think of associating with.



CaptainTrips222
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30 Apr 2009, 9:54 pm

No, I don't think I'd ever associate with a former-bully. For years, I either ignored them when I"d see them in public, try to communicate a sense of disgust if they tried to talk to me. But you know what, I don't really care anymore. I guess I don't even want to spend energy hating them, OR being their friend. They're pretty much in the past, even though I might get pissed once in awhile if I ruminate enough.



ViperaAspis
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30 Apr 2009, 10:34 pm

I think the bullies don't even remember anything about their actions. When I encountered them in later years, the memories for me are so fresh and vivid but they have absolutely no recollection of it whatsoever. I don't think they're lying either, they all have seemed genuinely stupified.

For the most part, they have seemed friendly and pleased that someone remembered them from the 7th grade, but that was about it. I suspect it is the curse of our very good memory that we can neither forgive nor easily forget these people.

P.S. I like the Captain Trips handle. Did you get that from The Stand?



CaptainTrips222
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01 May 2009, 4:08 pm

ViperaAspis wrote:

P.S. I like the Captain Trips handle. Did you get that from The Stand?


Yup. Never read it though.



WardenWolf
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01 May 2009, 8:56 pm

I did, when I was in 1st grade. We were both outcasts in our own way, so it worked. He wasn't a bad kid, just one who was frustrated; he had dyslexia and did poorly in spelling, and it sort of made him resent the people who did well (I was the top speller). He moved away midway through second grade, and I never saw him again.

Other bullies just grow out of it, or they see something in you that they respect. And some have things happen in their lives that change their perspective. I've seen all of them happen. I think one of them was amazed that I didn't let him push me around, even though he was twice my size, and on more than one occasion went right through him when he tried to block my path. He had some respect, and he showed it at the end.