mitharatowen wrote:
...But the problem is that even as a very young child, I was insanely loyal to my friends and I expected the same from them who were only children and were transient as children are. So when they found other friends/girlfriends I was devestated each and every time. I still carry those scars and it greatly affects my 'adult' relationships. I am starting to come to the point where I am not sure I will like anyone ever again.
I also have a different definition of the word 'friend' than most people. I do not have work 'friends' or school 'friends' like most people have (eg someone to sit next to when you don't know anyone else.. ect) I define the word "friend" like I define the word "love" - absolute
It was exactly the same for me! Over the years, I got so fed up with feeling betrayed by people who I thought were my friends, that I completely shut myself off from anyone seeking to be friends with me.
I totally agree with the "absolute" nature of friendship that you describe. "Casual friendship" is a concept that I have never understood.
_________________
"I am likely to miss the main event, if I stop to cry & complain again.
So I will keep a deliberate pace - Let the damn breeze dry my face."
- Fiona Apple - "Better Version of Me"