Do you exist?

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Joined: 15 Mar 2009
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29 Mar 2009, 10:45 pm

Once, I showed up at my friend's house, and knocked on the door, but no one was home, so I left.

Later, my friend told me he had been in his car at the end of the street, watching me knock on his door. He was hiding from me - waiting for me to go away before he pulled in to his driveway!

That is how I realized he just considered me an annoyance, not a friend. It hurts again whenever I remember it.

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Asmodeus
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30 Mar 2009, 6:21 am

Social_Fantom wrote:

I sometimes do but in my case I can walk into a room full of people and no one would know I was there. It's alright though, I use that to scare the crap out of people. :lol:

I like doing that.

Who_Am_I
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30 Mar 2009, 8:26 am

Jutty wrote:

Do you ever wonder if you exist when it comes from the perspective of your "friends". For those of you that have "friends", do you feel like your invisable or non existent to them. For example, You get together for a meal, but then when you try contact them after by phone or email, they either never reply or don't want to talk to you. Like you'd only hear from them if both of you were the last people on earth. This has happened to me with a couple of my "friends". And I put friends in quote because for us its like a friend is sometimes not real.

I'm sure that I make 3/4 of my friends feel like they don't exist, going by the criteria in the OP. I don't (can't) initiate social contact, and too much socialising exhausts me, and my "too much" seems to be their "not quite enough".

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RoisinDubh
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30 Mar 2009, 9:34 am

Oiiiiii.....I just posted my own rant here about pretty much the same topic....people pretending to like you, when they obviously don't. I'm just attributing it to most people being fake-social and overall dishonest, but that really doesn't make it any less irritating. In fact, because of my lack of tolerance for dishonesty, it actually makes it WORSE.

The guy who mentioned NTs bitching about people not getting back to them raises a good point, though....perhaps we should add 'people are freakin rude' to the list as well. And to think I have been attributing MY on-and-off flakiness with getting back to people to having Aspergers!

gina-ghettoprincess wrote:

I guess I exist too much, if you will, because everyone stares at me in the corridors at school. They say I'm stuck up cos I never talk to them. :roll:

I got this A LOT as a teenager...still occasionally do. :lol:

Kenjitsuka
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02 Apr 2009, 3:11 pm

Quote:

they either never reply or don't want to talk to you

I have had this happen all two times I went on a date...
The girls said -at the end- that is was great and stuff, and they wanted more dates/contact, but then they never replied again!

NO idea why or how that happens :roll:

nodice1996
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02 Apr 2009, 10:45 pm

Well, to all my "friends" but one I dont socially "exist" but my friends from boy scouts seem to care and respond to emails and talk to me.

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RoisinDubh
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04 Apr 2009, 11:32 am

Kenjitsuka wrote:

Quote:

they either never reply or don't want to talk to you

It happens because most people are really dishonest about their feelings, and believe it's ruder to be straightforward about not liking you than it is to lead you on and then disappear. NTs have a lot to learn in that area, I'm afraid. :roll:

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Kenjitsuka
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04 Apr 2009, 5:00 pm

I guess, RoisinDubh...
Sucks though; first the rules are super unclear and intangible, and then they take it to a whole worse level by lying plainly :roll:

Guess we just can't win in the NT world

ebec11
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04 Apr 2009, 6:52 pm

Sometimes people are just bad at keeping contact with people though, and when you finally get contact with them, it's really great, but it only happens every couple months.

dalekaspie
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05 Apr 2009, 5:03 am

zeichner wrote:

Don't take it personally - I hear NTs complaining all the time that people don't return their e-mail/voice mail.

well nts do crave more attentionmore than we do

khelben1979
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09 Apr 2009, 2:32 pm

Hmm... friend? Let me see, aah! Wiki, my only true friend:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friend

Seriously, for myself it's not easy to get friends or to keep them, although if I didn't have friends, then I would probably not exist today. I know I have friends myself, but I don't know how many or how few.

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mechanicalgirl39
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09 Apr 2009, 4:40 pm

poopylungstuffing wrote:

I am not always the most reciprocal friend...so this is usually not too much of an issue...Maybe I don't exist so much outside myself....

sometimes I do see myself as "not a real person" when I am feeling particularly bad about myself...and it seems like people around me seem to be capable of more "in-depth" interactions with each other than I am...but I suppose I do exist.

That's weird I have often had that feeling too though it has lessened with age.

I remember, as a little kid, hearing someone talk about lung disorders, and thinking about lungs....the idea that I had lungs seemed a little incredible, because only the normal people had those, and I didn't really count as a person. Weird thinking, I know.

hermanChess
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