I can't keep female neurotypical friends

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Pointing to I have girl friends reminds me too much of another trope used to dodge racism accusations.

In case anyone missed me saying - I was arguing with TP in this thread because she accused me of mansplaining at least four times, and accused me of sexism probably more times than that. Nobody else was provoking me in such a way. If a dude accused me of mansplaning or sexism in any depth, I would debate them also.

But of course, I was just picking on TP because she was a woman.

This thread reminds of me a funny situation when I was a checkout operator many moons ago.

I was on a checkout in a supermarket for the first time and it turned out, that there was a sensor on the conveyor belt that could stop the conveyor belt working, which I didn't know about. There was a receipt from a previous transaction stuck in the side of the conveyor belt, in the metal rim and I saw two black customers coming.....

I internally panicked and then explained to the black couple (a man and a woman) that they would have to push up the food manually as I was in a cabin of sorts with the door locked behind me, which was locked to prevent thieves and had been locked since I went in there a couple of hours previous to these people.

They proceeded to do so. I apologised maybe three or so times about their inconvenience and tried to be nice to them.

After they had collected their shopping off of the end of the till, they went straight to the manager nearby and started screaming "EVERYDAY RACISM". The man explained that he and is wife were just going about their day when a racist checkout operator (me), was invoking times of slavery and making them manually push their food up the conveyor belt when other people who weren't discriminated against had a button pushed for the conveyor belt to automatically carry the food along (I had tried the relevant button and they could see me pushing it to no avail, so they knew I was trying)!

My manager asked me what had happened and I explained about the receipt having affected the sensor (I had figured it out after removing the receipt and finding out the button for making the conveyor belt move, worked again, shortly after the couple left the till area).

They got so irate, demanding that I should be fired, that the manager had to ask them to calm down and leave. Then the black dude started screaming about how black people are discriminated against because they are too often asked to calm down.

And the manager was like "yeah, but you are screaming, nobody else is screaming....".

You may be surprised to know I'm pals with Barchan

I'm not trying to dunk on you, overall I like you but you've got blindspots and room to grow. So do all of us and sometimes it hurts to hear expressed, but it doesn't make the criticism invalid.

Ok TBH I am actually not comfortable in triggering others, If you remember the old days I would spar with Ezra, I was mindful he was triggered by my posts even though he used his autism as a weapon to attack me.

That man pretty clearly had more on his plate than just his interaction with you. That's also a case of tone-policing where it's not entirely uncalled for.

So, my ex and I once had a discussion of mansplaining vs. jerksplaining. The difference being someone guilty of the latter does it to men just as often as women, often with disregard for any social considerations (they'll tell emperor he's naked).

The unfortunate reality is that jerksplaining will be indistinguishable from mansplaining/whitesplaining/etc when those terms are also valid descriptors.

Especially if you're not in a demographic category and appear to be explaining the experience of that demographic category to a member of said category.

Even if your motive is different, if you catch yourself doing it, re-evaluate how you got there and learn from it. There's rare cases where you'll actually be right, but they're the exception not the rule.

Yeah mansplaining seems slightly offensive and dismissive to me.

I don't doubt the underlined, in fact I'd be willing to suggest it's the main motive for why you invalidate those criticisms.

Yes, I remember how many posters here have engaged in crybullying at times. I don't believe TP and Ezra can be fairly compared in this regard.

I think I would rather be accused of jerksplaining rather than mansplaining, especially in cases where the other person thinks I am a jerk, but might not realise that whatever I am doing to annoy them, I would do the same to with someone who is a male, if they were saying the same things as that person (the female accusing me of mansplaining).

What if a man is explaining something to a woman, as is necessary to get his point across - and his explanation isn't intended to be condescending or self-righteous?

But the woman perceives that explanation as condescending or self-righteous, for whatever reason.

Does that count as mansplaining?

For her, almost certainly.
For him, not if his ego can't withstand hearing it described as such, apparently.

I see, well, I shall take your advice and move on then. You being non-binary and all. I grant you the exquisite powers to excuse me.

Who could be more suitable for the task?

When did I throw my NTness in your face? Also the females I have been chatting about are NTs not ND. Wow! why is everyone so sensitive.

Really no need for girls/women on the spectrum to interpret my posts about them.