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Oberoth
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08 Nov 2012, 4:31 pm

I rarely have anything to impart to conversations about celebrities, television, football, getting drunk etc



gassy
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08 Nov 2012, 6:49 pm

To be honest I dont get asked the question that often as I'm only quiet when im in a group of people, whether they are just friends or friends with strangers.

The only times I've been asked is when i've been in a group with both friends, and friends-of-friends. I usually just apologise and say I've been thinking about x, y, or z. This has been easy for me as i have a lot on with work, homelife, university, and plans of travelling next year.

I usually say the travelling one as it makes them more interested, and then they ask another question or i expand on my answer etc. I find it much easier to talk about a subject which interests me than generic small talk.

EDIT
Just to add. I also think it's important to be curious and think of questions to ask if your feeling your not inputting enough into a conversation. Obviously think before you speak though. If a conversation is about a specific subject which you know nothing about e.g. women makeup, ask what type of makeup they like, what brands they like, how much is it, how long does it take to get ready for a night out - then you could move the subject on what sort of nightlife you like, music, etc etc - those sort of questions would probably be best asked by a guy talking to a group of girls though.

My main point is just ask questions and be polite. It seems to go a very long way.



cjthemadscientist
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13 Nov 2012, 11:49 pm

I think it IS rude when the point out how quiet I am. Come on, you are just walking up to someone who is a stranger to you, we have never spoken, and the very first thing you say to me before you even have the decency to introduce yourself is "Why are you so quiet?" "You don't ever talk!" Uh, nice to meet you too?

I used to just give the timid "I don't know," answer, but lately I haven't been responding too kindly and will tell them straight up that I may be quiet and have no problem telling someone to shut up when I think they're being rude, like they are now. Either that or I tell them I have HFA in hopes of making them feel like crap about asking that silly question heh. I may be an aspie but I'm fiesty.



fluffypinkyellow
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14 Nov 2012, 8:46 am

People ask me why I'm quiet all. the. bloody. time! It's so annoying. I don't really talk just for the sake of talking, and it takes me a while to fully be ready to speak. It also takes me a while to warm up to new people, and small talk doesn't come naturally to me at all.

Then when I do say something, the response is always a shocked chorus of "Oh my god!! ! Fluffypinkyellow spoke!! ! I thought this day would never dawn!! !", and it just makes me feel more self-conscious and awkward.

And if I say something quietly, someone will let out a gasp of "Fluffypinkyellow said something!! !" Then all the faces will turn to look at me. And someone will tell me to say it again. And I will have to say it again. And the faces will keep looking at me. And then someone will express shock that I am capable of having an opinion.



noxnocturne
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14 Nov 2012, 9:06 pm

I hate it when people point this out. I mean, seriously? You have the right to be a chatterbox; I think I have the right to not want to talk every second of the day. I just don't like talking. Why is this so hard for others to get?



blue1skies
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15 Nov 2012, 7:20 pm

Today I got a written report from my supervisor that said I am very quiet. I laughed a lot to tell you the truth.



shiflimtamfloo
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13 Dec 2012, 11:51 am

Keon wrote:
I hate when people call you in introvert just because you "seem quiet to them". People don't understand what it's like to be as aspie unless you lived life as an aspie. They don't understand how confused I get when I talk to people because I very rarely unless 100% of what someone is trying to tell me. It's easier just to be quiet and listen to what others say. Plus, being social uses up WAY too much mental energy. After I'm done having a conversation with someone, I usually feel tired. My brain has to work so hard to not only keep up with verbal communication, but also to reply to what others say to me.

Aspies think in pictures. As stupid as it sounds, it would be so much easier to be a Teletubbie (a fictional character in a learning show for toddlers and very young children) and simply display what I'm thinking of on a screen on my stomach. It would save me LOADS of time trying to convert those pictures into words. lol


That's interesting, I've been thinking that I think in pictures kind of. I'm not totally sure I have aspergers, but yeah I've been quiet in public, but mostly at work/school my whole life, and always asked that. Or it's joked about like 'dont talk so much' which I don't mind. It did start to get on my nerves at school. I always sayd 'i dont know' but I wish I thought of a better explanation, or knew about this stuff back then maybe I could've figured myself out more then. I always remember a girl in one class I had in high school that said 'he does tlalk when he has to, just talks too quiet' and that's basically what I think. I do talk more about stuff I'm thinking about/interested in though.



vk2goh
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13 Dec 2012, 9:39 pm

i've been asked this heaps as well

My problem is mainly more that I can't make small talk



icyfire4w5
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15 Dec 2012, 12:32 pm

Disclaimer: I'm an Aspie.
Disclaimer: In the end, I didn't ask the NT why she had been so quiet.

One night, I was having dinner with a group of NTs. We were chatting among ourselves, but the NT sitting next to me didn't participate at all. I noticed that her eyes were "glued" to her food, meaning that she was eating non-stop and didn't stare at anything else but her food. I didn't know whether she had been paying attention to the conversation going on around her or not. If I were to ask her why she had been so quiet, I was actually trying to find out whether she knew what the conversation was about.

If she knew, she would be expected to reply something like, "Huh? So you guys have been talking about blahblahblahblahblah" and then join in the conversation. If she didn't know she would be expected to reply something like, "Huh? What have you guys been talking about?" and then somebody would summarize the conversation for her and then she would join in the conversation.

In the end, because nobody asked that NT why she had been so quiet, she only joined in the conversation (of her own accord) after finishing her food.



soulburner
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16 Dec 2012, 12:50 am

i know what you mean. people have has me that, even my own family and i go psycho inside. then people say i need to talk more and would demand me to do it! you cant demand me to talk and have a conversation! its a shame how stupid and rude mother f*****s are!



Scourgething
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16 Dec 2012, 12:55 pm

1. I expect everyone i tell to stop or quit something to go into a fit of rage

2. Some people give downright idiotic responses all the time, and i really don't want to talk to those people

3. When i am in school i refrain from saying something due to my class"mates" asking asinine questions about it they should already know the answer to

Some of them might not make any sense to you, but that's just how i am.



random1
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03 Oct 2016, 7:49 pm

bc i am


_________________
diagnosed with autistic disorder.


Perkulator
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11 Oct 2016, 3:33 am

Them: Why are you so quiet?

Me: Why are you so noisy?



candleghost
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16 Oct 2016, 9:54 pm

I get asked this often, and they also mistake it for being "uptight" or "thinking I'm better than them" which isn't the case at all.

Small talk makes me uncomfortable so I don't do it much.

People also tell me that I should smile more. I'm not going to talk if I don't have anything to say and I'm not going to smile if I have nothing to smile about. Who goes around smiling 24/7??

:roll: