I can't keep female neurotypical friends

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I love the "one of us" chant.

I only mention him as an example of someone who might get called irredeemable. In the same way there's no point telling Richard Spencer he sounds racist, because no s**t, that's his entire brand.

Ah yeah. I didn't think you were insinuating I am anything to do with Andrew Tate.

My mention of not knowing that dude's content, and my previous post in general, was to reassure TP in case she is reading my posts in this thread.

Granted! I agree this might contribute to misunderstandings when autistic folks experience difficulty making friends.

Message was aimed at a specific audience/demographic but I get it, the message is inflammatory/triggering to others reading it.

A fine framing of an argument that goes out of it's way to ignore the elephant in the room - other possibilities than narcissism - possibilities like, the guy was sexist. Or a jerk. Or creepy. Or any number of things that can explain why a female friend might no longer respond to them, without resorting to narcissism. It sounds like a fancy roundabout way of arriving at the self-appeasing conclusion that anyone who doesn't like you is a narcissist. Or is probably a narcissist. Or is more likely to be a narcissist. Regardless, the problem is them, and definitely not you. The notion that it could have been you all along doesn't even get recognized as a possibility. Nope, can't possibly be that.

And while you have, according to you, had many experiences with NT women, by your own admission, they ended in a failure to create or maintain a friendship. You have experience, yes - but not with a very effective track record, by your own statement. Why would anyone ask the racecar driver who loses most of their races for driving advice? In what way are they transferrable? You keep stating that they are, but I can state that a pineapple tastes like bacon, that doesn't make it true.

Wanna talk about unrealistic expectations? How about assuming you're already such a hot commodity that getting snubbed baffles you to the point where you need to pathologize an entire group of people to explain something that can just as easily be explained by not having a very good personality. But nobody ever wants to talk about that...

And not just you, avoiding that topic like the plague. It's a theme that tends to accompany many of the discussions here, when it comes to an inability to form friendships or relationships with women. Nope, it's height and weight and looks and money and cars and how women are so picky and have such high expectations - but it's never "maybe I'm boring" or "maybe I'm a jerk" or "maybe I'm making them uncomfortable", or any number of other things that can put people off, that the guy is doing, and doesn't realize - but even when suggested, it's met with either a defense of their personality, or a defense of their intentions. Which don't mean much in the face of the results, which speak for themselves.

Always some excuse for why they just know that their personality, their mojo, their social presence, is *slaps chest* more than up to the task, and if it isn't working, then something else must be working against them. "I don't have a bland personality! They're just too picky! That wasn't sexist! You're just too sensitive! I'm not creepy! They're just stuck up! I'm not pushy! They just don't understand! I am not insensitive! Excuse me for not being perfect and always remembering to walk on eggshells around everyone! I didn't say anything wrong! You're just taking it wrong!" Sounds charming.

Don't blame the pencil for your inability to draw.

Sounds like the best of both worlds. Must be nice.

If this is true, in the process of sticking to the part, he's offered some lovely criticisms where the assertion that he was NT was a key component to the argument. Are we supposed to just ignore that in light of this revelation? Doesn't that make the times he's thrown around his NT-ness around kinda... dishonest? Like, it's one thing to not say anything, one way other the other - but to actively stand on the label and throw it around, despite doubts to the contrary, just to maintain a persona, just cos he believes his NT performance is spot-on? I dunno man.

Also, we didn't other him as NT - he perpetually singles himself out as being NT, and how that makes his perspective different. He stands on it like a soap-box. And, didn't you recently claim that the expression "othered" was some vague mystery term that most people don't know? Yet here you are, casually using it like it's commonplace. Wild how fast things change. And another thing - is he practically half one-of-us autistics? Or is he so good at acting NT that he feels confident to brandish the label?

It's pretty well-known that this site accepts self-diagnosis. And autism is genetic. So either mommy, or daddy, are likely candidates. Cyberded spends an awful lot of time here, as himself, commenting from his point of view, and interacting as himself, while seldom ever mentioning the daughter he's supposedly here for. And has had an intense fixation with advising lonely autistic men, who coincidentally share many of his difficulties. Intense special interest in UFOs and alien life... Seriously, was this supposed to shock us? Surprised maybe? More like "well duh".

I'm willing to wager the forum would have been just fine with this insight, and maintaining the role just cos "the shoes fit" seems like a sketch excuse. Regardless of the reason, if he wanted it to be kept under wraps, he could have just not said anything - but could also have not continued to brandish the label of NT, despite his new self-diagnosis. Seems very disingenuous.

And back to matters of personality and character, I can't help but feel that behavior like this might be related to people's desire to continue a friendship, or not. And (assuming your words on his behalf are accurate and spoken with correct intent), it's pretty wild to hear the guy accusing women of narcissism to think that he's so good at acting NT that they think they're better off continuing to play the part, even brandishing the NT label as a credential - thinks he's too good looking, has too good a job, and is too well spoken for a girl to possibly pass him up - thinks his experience is more valid than others' experiences - blames everything on everyone else - blame peoples autism for their sensitivities or inability to understand him, luckily he's too NT to have those same problems - "apologizes" for your fault of reacting rather than for their fault of behaving...

No judgements, people have every right to be who they want, just sayin... maybe the problem is the self, not the other person, when it comes to effectively interacting with others with the goal of maintaining a friendship.

But nobody likes to hear that. Least of all, people who already think they're a top-shelf item.

But he's not being othered as NT. You don't seem to understand the term, even now.

The discussion revolves around the opinion "I find with NT females communication becomes harder the younger and more attractive they are, the more narcissistic they become."
It doesn't matter if the speaker was NT, Autistic or a Martian.

And yet you somehow miss the generalized assertion that "with NT females (...)" ?
It's pretty obvious even by your definitions.

And "excessively interpret" or "even when there was no sexism or racism intended"?
Ah yes, of course - it's their problem and easily hand-waved away. /sarc


The rest of your post does you no favors as a thinly veiled attack on posters to this thread.

I think it was uncommondenominator who commented on cyberdad throwing his (supposed) 'NT-ness' in UC's face, historically.

The definition of 'othering' from the following source..

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/othering

..states that othering is: "the act of treating someone as though they are not part of a group and are different in some way".

I think that definition applies to UCD's comment when he was seemingly trying to divide cyberdad into the NT out-group.

The out-group and in-group on WP is reversed, since most people are autistic here versus in real life - that's how it works, no?

Last edited by blitzkrieg on 11 Mar 2024, 9:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

I did address cyberdad's comment on how he perceives that "mostly NT attractive females as being more likely to be narcissistic" (paraphrase), earlier in the thread. He also implied that social media is facilitating this trend, in my mind - and to that end I posted a link to a variety of scientific articles gleaned from Google Scholar on the link between social media and narcissism. I thought that was a fair input.




I think the word "attack" seems like a strong word to describe my post - the one you are referring to.

Last edited by blitzkrieg on 11 Mar 2024, 12:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You appear to be trying to deflect or divert the argument through the use of tu quoque.

It seems like CD initially engaged in othering:
I find it interesting how some members shift their identity depending on how convenient it might be at the time. Sometimes it suits them to identify as NT. Other times, it suits their purposes to identify as an Aspie. Demonstrated here and elsewhere, it seems to depend on the specific thread/argument (i.e. how useful it is in the specific context).

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 11 Mar 2024, 12:32 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Once again, that single comment wasn’t the sole instance of sexism in this thread, nor is this thread an anomaly. It’s just part of an ongoing pattern of behavior that certain members engage in. If this was solely about one comment, people may not have given it so much time and attention. Obviously, this is an important issue that needs to be addressed which is why it has been allowed to be addressed in this thread.

How do you know why something has been 'allowed' in this thread? Are you part of the moderation team or do you have a dialogue with CF behind the scenes?

You seem to often invoke what is or isn't allowed often in various threads, and direct users to the moderation team often, and I haven't really seen anyone else do that - so I was just wondering?

Since sexism is explicitly against the rules and since Cornflake participated in this thread and provided his viewpoint, I made an inference. It’s possible that I am mistaken, but I don’t think so. If I am mistaken, I hope CF will set me straight.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 11 Mar 2024, 2:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think UCD was at the very least flirting with the idea but I'm not one to point fingers