Why are females more tolerant of 'wierd' than males?

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Sea Gull
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08 Oct 2009, 5:42 pm

One thought I have, I was reading about how some people study "politeness" and how females tend to be better at it, especially in saying things more indirectly to appear polite. So I wonder if it's possible that they just are less likely to be straightforward and hurt feelings?

Also, I learned in a class at college that women when aggressive are more likely to show it verbally, gossip, etc, while men are more likely to do it outwardly (aggressive voice, maybe even physically).

Hmmm



Shebakoby
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08 Oct 2009, 10:07 pm

Observer20 wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
I've noticed something odd about my social interactions through the years, primarily childhood. And that is, by and large, girls are far more tolerant of 'weird' than boys. I have no idea why that is.


Since when? Women may me be more open to things such as homosexuality, but Almost all of the most judgmental people I've ever met, have been women. They hate on other women based on looks alone!


Heh, the people that ragged most on me about my appearance were guys. Not that there weren't any girls that did that, but the strange part was those who did, did not go to my school. I'd see them other places, like the skating rink. The real vicious, mean girls went to a completely different school on the other side of town. I still think there's something in the water in that part of town. People there are different. There's lots of rental houses there, and lots of bad parents. Like not just run of the mill dysfunctional, I mean seriously &^%ed up.

No girls at my own schools ever teased me about my appearance or my clothing. So the girls from that other school, I could identify quite easily by their attitude. Each time, I found out they went to that particular school. At first I found out 'naturally', as in I heard them talking and found out which school they attended. But the last time it happened, I said flatout to them, "Do you by any chance go to Mt Prevost School?" They said yes. And I said, "OH so that explains it."

And they usually came in batches of two, the girls in these encounters.

Oh, and the girl that wanted to beat me up when I was in grade 11 and she was in grade 10? She was from that school.



gramirez
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08 Oct 2009, 10:31 pm

Females are more sensitive than men. Simple as that.


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Daemonic-Jackal
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09 Oct 2009, 11:12 am

Shebakoby wrote:
DonkeyBuster wrote:
So you're male and have found that women accept you more readily than males? Do I understand you correctly?

I am female and have often found that men accept me more readily... not as love interest but as friend. I am still a tomboy.


No I am female and found females are more tolerant of weird than males. The only males that accept me in any way are online.


I disagree I think it all depends if your male or females yourself.

Males are more accepting of 'weird' males and females are more accepting of 'weird' females.


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Shebakoby
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09 Oct 2009, 11:29 am

Daemonic-Jackal wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
DonkeyBuster wrote:
So you're male and have found that women accept you more readily than males? Do I understand you correctly?

I am female and have often found that men accept me more readily... not as love interest but as friend. I am still a tomboy.


No I am female and found females are more tolerant of weird than males. The only males that accept me in any way are online.


I disagree I think it all depends if your male or females yourself.

Males are more accepting of 'weird' males and females are more accepting of 'weird' females.


I guess that makes sense.



CaptainTrips222
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09 Oct 2009, 3:59 pm

Daemonic-Jackal wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
DonkeyBuster wrote:
So you're male and have found that women accept you more readily than males? Do I understand you correctly?

I am female and have often found that men accept me more readily... not as love interest but as friend. I am still a tomboy.


No I am female and found females are more tolerant of weird than males. The only males that accept me in any way are online.


I disagree I think it all depends if your male or females yourself.

Males are more accepting of 'weird' males and females are more accepting of 'weird' females.


Yeah, that's what I was saying earlier. Most all of these posts make it sound like women are more understanding. In my experience, guys notice it too but shrug it off.



Thinkagain
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10 Oct 2009, 10:52 am

I think when you are young under the age of 20, girls are more excepting than the guys are...



LittleRaven
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10 Oct 2009, 11:11 pm

I have found it easier to talk to girls, although I was never close to anybody. Maybe because girls would approach me more often to chat, and I would never approach anybody. I was never bullied by either gender, and if anybody gossiped about me, I wasn't aware of it. I think the only gossip I ever heard about me was the false rumor that I had gotten into Harvard. Most of what I learned about socialization and gender roles comes from watching people and reading lots of stuff that raised my feminist consciousness.

I learned, however, that girls are at least socialized more to be nice and polite about everything, and to tolerate people they don't want to be around. I never found guys to be more honest (at least from outside observation, as I have very little experience with guys) though, just more crass sometimes, which is not necessarily the same thing. I don't know that politeness is always intended to be malicious though. That is, I think maybe a polite person will be nice and accepting towards you even though they don't like you, because they think it's the right thing to do, and they just don't want to have to be around you when it's not necessary to be in your company. I don't think this is necessarily bad, unless the person is saying really bad things about you while pretending to be your friend, or making your life miserable somehow. Being shunned may still be painful, though, whether someone means it to be or not.



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11 Oct 2009, 9:51 am

I think the type of viciousness toward the outsiders by men and by women can be described as a rhinoceros and a rattlesnake, respectively. A male's viciousness is like a rhinoceros because it's big, loud, right there in your face, and can do some major damage if directed at you. Even the most socially naive aspie will know it's coming. However, despite the threatening appearance while attacking you, a rhino can be stopped with a well-aimed tranquilizer dart. Similarly, you can keep most men's attacks in check by simply fighting back (a doubtful option for some aspies, but still). Sadly, victims of rhino attacks usually do not survive.

A female's viciousness is more like a rattlesnake because it sits quietly, attacks you with very little warning, and the bite literally poisons you. It takes a lot of social skills to know you'll get attacked soon, in order to get away in time, and a lot of aspies do not have those skills. When a rattlesnake attacks, it does it so quickly and suddenly, there is no chance to prevent it from biting you. Similarly, when a woman attacks (verbally, that is), it happens so out of the blue, people have almost zero chance of stopping it. But victims of the attacks do have higher chances of surviving if treated in time.

Basically, it's not so much about acceptance, but about how blatant unacceptance is. With men, you generally know where stand, but if you give a reason, you'll really get attacked big time. Women may be nicer to you on the surface, but it takes more social skills to understand their true opinion of you, and you may be getting attacked without knowing it. Are you more comfortable with knowing where you stand, or with being treated nicely on the surface? I'll go with Rudyard Kipling on this: the female of the species is more deadly than the male.



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11 Oct 2009, 6:22 pm

In middle school the other girls were the worst to me for being weird. They were very hung up on manners, grace, etc. The guys just liked f*****g with me. Never made it to a normal high school. My SED school (Severally Emotionally Disturbed) was where I started to realize I wasn't the only freak.

I actually feel that women have been trained by this society to act in a "normal" matter and that people are, in general, more tolerant of men acting weird. Women are supposed to behave. Act proper. Guys always act weird around each other in public and can pass it off as being drunk frat types. Girls acting weird together in public? I'd like to see a lot more of that.



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11 Oct 2009, 10:28 pm

I keep seeing surveys and comments saying that females are more tolerant than men, but this doesn't mirror my experiences. I find girls/women to be just as bigoted or closeminded as males. Maybe males are more likely to attack those they hate/dislike/despise, but females often show their disdain clearly if you just look for it; by snubbing people, viciously attack them verbally or gossip about them.

The only real difference I think is that females are less afraid of gays, where as males often seem to believe it's an infectious disesase!



Shebakoby
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11 Oct 2009, 10:33 pm

Skilpadde wrote:
I keep seeing surveys and comments saying that females are more tolerant than men, but this doesn't mirror my experiences. I find girls/women to be just as bigoted or closeminded as males. Maybe males are more likely to attack those they hate/dislike/despise, but females often show their disdain clearly if you just look for it; by snubbing people, viciously attack them verbally or gossip about them.

The only real difference I think is that females are less afraid of gays, where as males often seem to believe it's an infectious disesase!


Probably because women know that rectal penetration is not imminent. Men have a thing about that, a 'rape-phobia' I guess.