Do you hate you grew apart from past friends?

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psychohist
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04 Mar 2010, 2:21 pm

There's only one person that I've completely lost contact with that I'd like to have maintained contact with.

There are several that I only have sporadic contact with that I wish I could see more often. I'd love to live in the same city as my brother and be able to visit him and have our kids play together every week.

For the most part, though, I'm pretty happy with the limited socializing I do.



Desire4Life
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07 Mar 2010, 2:10 am

drybones wrote:
in most cases so called 'friends' i had were not really friends at all, just acquaintances and always had ulterior motives

these days i dont have many friends at all. just 2 in fact and its normally weeks if not months between any contact :?

because of the past, i dont trust people much so i dont miss those old friends anyway they were manipulative and cruel


i've had this same thing happen to me. i don't trust people anymore either. i had the urge to reach out by creating a facebook page, but that urge has quickly been extinguished after hearing so many stories of "being ignored past the friend request."

i guess when you have a friendship w/ someone and they've come to realize that you finally can see their ulterior motives, it's a tainted and strained relationship that will never be the same. it sure is hard to make new friends though... :cry:



HowlingMad1992
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07 Mar 2010, 3:45 pm

There has been times when I wonder what if I'd still been friends with people today that I haven't seen in years. But you can only imagine.



dalekaspie
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11 Mar 2010, 11:06 am

yes lol, its really annyoing, not only because you havent spoken to them in ages, but if you did attempt to speak to them, you're scared that their new circle of freinds might suddenly maul you to death lol


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PunkyKat
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11 Mar 2010, 1:37 pm

No but then I never had any friends to grow apart from.



passionatebach
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11 Mar 2010, 3:10 pm

I hate how a majority of people from my past always change for the worst.

I am realizing that it can be hard to look back on these people and know them as you did back then. People have a tendency to remember only the very good and very bad. Also as I get older and a person gains a little "status" on their life, I notice that I have a tendency to talk like I was closer to them as a child than I actually was. A reality check is always needed in these situations.



pbcoll
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11 Mar 2010, 4:07 pm

When I was a child, on the rare occasions when I had friends, as soon as one of us changed schools or something, the friendship instantly died. Either neither one made any effort at preserving it, or I was the only one who made any effort, and it takes two. This pattern continued almost unchanged to this day. When I finished school, I made a sort of experiment, I decided I would not lift a finger to keep in touch with anyone except my best friend and my gf, unless the other party made an effort first. As I knew it would happen, not one of them ever made any attempt to keep in touch until recently, many years after leaving school, a former school bully friended me on facebook, I rejected the request.
Eventually, my best friend simply ignored me, and wasn't there for me one time I could really have used his support. A long time afterwards he got in touch, but as far as I was concerned the friendship was dead and buried. After this, for a while friendship as worthless trash, pointless and not worth bothering with. I no longer think this way, but I do view friendship as too fragile and short-lived for me to invest much in it emotionally. I will be moving away in a few months, and I feel certain it will be the same thing again.

drybones wrote:
in most cases so called 'friends' i had were not really friends at all, just acquaintances and always had ulterior motives

these days i dont have many friends at all. just 2 in fact and its normally weeks if not months between any contact :?

because of the past, i dont trust people much so i dont miss those old friends anyway they were manipulative and cruel


That has happened to me as well.


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