Why Are You So Quiet?

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lol.. I say the same thing. My soon-to-be-ex-roomie is horrible for this.
Always at me for not saying hi to him. Complains that I never talk to him, that he feels like I am mad/angry/ticked-off with him.

The other night he yelled HELLO! so loud when I was heading outside I almost put my hand through the glass door I jumped.
And he calls me rude, and so do his friends - and I have now told him he is two-faced and he has also told me many times how stupid his friends are, so why would I want to waste my time making small talk with them..



..I hate that.. soft spoken..grrrr.. I had a old roomie, that had my other roomie for years and known me for a year or so, before he moved in with us.
There was two rooms open and he could pick either, he decided it would be best to take the room below me, as I was the 'soft spoken' one.

The first night the guy I was 'seeing' spent over after the new roomie moved into that room..
was the last night old roomie stayed in that room..

I have decided that the next person that asks me that.. I am going to respond with
"Because I am trying to figure out the best way to place on of these in your trap'

I agree with so many of the comments here.

It defies logic why one has to talk all the time about inane rubbish in order to be considered accepted or normal by certain elements of society. Yes a lot of us are shy. Yes a lot of us have difficulties with social skills and conversation making. But yes, I like to think that most of us would rather be talking about something more intellectually stimulating than Laverne's new orange hair extensions and acrylic nail combo. String theory, anyone??

Yep, I still get that one.

Also, when I get told I should talk more because I am not being sociable then they don't want to talk about what I want to talk anyway. So, what is the point.

Often I just shrug or say that I just don't have anything to say.

I'm sure every single one of our kind has been asked that question and it will continue to be asked for the rest of our lives. Obviously people ask why I'm quiet and because of their ignorance they have no idea why. Autism maybe known among the public but Aspergers is still not well known enough. People will mistake our kind for either disliking them, being grumpy or being just plain anti-social but little do they know we have a serious neurological disorder that makes us socially impaired our entire lives. Everyday socializing is a real struggle and really, it's so confusing. I can never learn the unwritten social cues, non-verbal communication and regular social skills and it's very frustrating. So why do I not talk? Well I still can't give them a direct answer because if I tell them I have Aspergers, either they will have no idea what it is or they will know what it is but will think I am using it as a pity excuse which couldn't be further from the truth. No one wins here. In the end, we will always be different and when the time comes, will we find some people who will understand us, accept us for who we are and not try to change us. Telling some person that I am not close to that I have Aspergers is not a good idea and I feel it's best to share it with the people I know and truth the most.

Lots of people ask me why I'm so quiet. I usually tell em something like "I'm not sure what to talk about" cuz I'm usually not

I hate that...and people saying have you always been so shy...and when I do speak I talk quietly and I hate that people ask me to repeat myself all the time...and I hate when people think I am arrogant/ignorant etc. I guess I hate a lot of things really!

I am like this, but I am told I am told I am polite as I act old fashioned - Gentleman like

I'm the opposite. People tend to think I'm rude or get offended when I talk. Especially my mom. I also tend to talk to low & mumble or I talk to loud. I've gotten corrected, fussed at & heard so many speeches before we go anywhere that it made me more afraid to talk in social settings

Are both natures typical of people with AS?

I think it depends on the Aspie.

You're not the only one. I get that most of the time. Its not only that I'm quiet, but I speak at low volume and the person who I'm talking too won't hear me and I have to raise my voice a bit. I't happens almost everyday.

BDTD wrote: "NTs do that because they can't read you--they aren't getting the typical NT feedback they are expecting. In other words, they expect the normal NT nonverbal conversation but you aren't saying anything."

THAT'S why I like these forums! Until you wrote it, it never occurred to me, but I believe BDTD hit the nail on the head. That makes so much sense.

If I'm sitting, say playing cards, listening to the conversation around the table MY FACE IS PROBABLY BLANK. Okay, how stupid. I can't see my face so it never occurred to me. I am listening and enjoying it, but they can't tell. *smacks self on head*

Okay, I taught myself to walk down halls at work looking up, with a smile and saying "Hello" to everyone. I can teach myself to listen with more expression. SIGH. It never ends. Since this just happened to me recently, and I play with the same group of women every month, next game I will try to play cards and 'make faces' simultaneously. (Geez, what will the NT's expect next? LOL!)

Thanks BDTD!

This sounds a bit like me. All the time people think I am being confrontational and am being rude or impolite. I usually talk low though.

But I also get the "you're the shy type" or "you're so quiet,". And I'm like -.-

Ha, getting it all the time. I just don't know why make a silly, unimportant conversation. If someone asks me for something, i give them the formal answer and that's it. I never talk beyond the original question, let alone asking someone if they'd like to have a drink or something...

I was working at IT helpdesk, and i was glad to help people with their problems, never had problems with communication, but matters ALWAYS stayed professional, even when i could "make a move".

I just got this again. This time the girl said, "Everybody else [office] is so live, but you never say anything."

Me: "Nothing personal...it's just who I am take me or leave me."

Another co-worker standing nearby says, "Boy...if this was a personality contest, I'd win by a landslide." I told him that some have said I have the personality of a Pet Rock.

i would just answer with a question such as "why do you want to know"? if they don't give a suuper good reason, i'd just say something like "interesting". =)