Fed up as all hell with neurotypical stupidity and ignorance

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"No man is useless. He can always serve as a bad example."
Mark Twain

After talking to someone else about this post, I feel like I should explain.
The point of the first post was to say: Sometimes NT's think like aspie's. They don't always think or have the capacity to think about other peoples feelings.

Raining roses- I feel like you picked apart my post and created an offense that wasn't even there. The forum is entertaining. That is why many people are here. Yes, I realize people come here for support, but the games and personalities are also refreshing and entertaining. I feel like you were rude and unwelcoming to me.

Dear one- I feel like you just flame the fire. You seem to be rational, yet you did not comment on what the post was actually about.

If so many people feel like they are not accepted in normal society, why would you exclude me from yours? I may be "neurotypical" in the sense that I don't have aspergers, but that doesn't mean I'm neurotypical in normal society. Why else would someone come to these forums otherwise?

NTs may not have the social difficulties we have, but that doesn't necessarily mean they always get their social cues right. In fact, I was pretty shocked when I read some NT forums (well, they're not just for NTs, but I just call it that for short, because it's not inclusively for certain people). I was reading a NT forum about the swine flu, and the OP wrote about beng worried of dying from swine flu, and one of the replies said, ''yes you will die from it. Sorry,'' and I thought that was very rude and a very inappropriate thing to reply to someone who is worrying about it, especially if dying from it is highly unlikely.

Even I can do better than NTs at times.

First, congratulations to one and all on a fine job of dealing with the troll.

Raiz, it's an NT world and that's not going to change. For most of my life I felt like you - I used to get so irritated by NT behaviours that I went around in a foul mood every day. And it would always start first thing in the morning when I would have to deal with these ridiculous greetings which I always took so literally. I felt very irritated by the fact that any moron could demand a response from me at will.

After many years I finally realized, or maybe I should say came to accept that these are meaningless ACK/NACK sort of interchanges and don't mean anything personal at all. I learned to make a game of seeing what a ridiculous response I could come up with. Funny thing is, I found that much like Dear one pointed out, if I delivered some nonsensical reply with a smile, it works just fine and is taken as a positive acknowledgment, especially if you add a little laugh at the end. When I had proven the meaninglessness of the exchange to myself, all the anger over it just disappeared.

I say the most insulting things to NTs and as long as I deliver them in a bright, cheerful way, everything is A-OK. An NT friend who has always been rather hard on me about my lack of social skills once even complimented me on my ability to do this, but it just takes practice.

Pot calling the kettle black, perhaps? Your comment was stupid and ignorant.

... and offensive

Ok drama girl. Whatever you say. Have fun pulling up old posts and stirring up trouble.
I'll leave you to it.

When I read this thread, I thought about a book I'd read on critical thinking. Most NT's don't critically think. Most NT's don't even question anything that they say or do. A principle of critical thinking is an honest willingness to evaluate yourself, the stuff you do, the way you behave. NT's are so busy worrying about Keeping Up With The Joneses that they don't have time to reflect on anything, or see anything in themselves that might need some correction. Just because a person is "Neurotypical" doesn't mean he or she isn't neurotic or compulsive. Example, the troll Chiyoko: first calls the thread "entertaining" then labels other people "manipulative" and "drama girl" when she's called out.

They have all kinds of weird stuff going on, too. When they can't deal with it, they project their "junk" onto other people. In a post above, a poster said that her friend would say "Don't let that bother you" when told she didn't want to go shopping, it's too loud, and other reasons. But let's say her friend said, "It's too cold to go to the beach." Likely the poster would have respected that and let it go. They lack a concern for anyone else's privacy but their own. They look for other people's problems wherever they go, then they get angry and sometimes abusive when they don't find any or when you won't go with their suggestions, then go back to their deerstand with their Better-Than-You attitude.

I wouldn't want my friend to be uncomfortable when she's out shopping with me. If she's getting frustrated with the noise (as many people, NT or not, get frustrated among throngs of people), then she's not having fun. I'd rather her have fun with me than have to tolerate something she hates in order to go shopping with me.

When someone asks "What's up?" or "How are you?" they're doing it by rote and they don't really want to know how you REALLY are. It is how people are trained, and it's cultural. In some countries, nobody asks how you are unless they really want to know, and when you answer, you answer honestly. You don't say you're fine when your colon is backfiring the chili you ate last night and it hurts. Or thinking about a relative's surgery the next day and you're worried. You say that your colon is backfiring the chili or you're worried.

They have more problems with "acceptance." They find it hard to accept that someone might be different - and that "different" doesn't mean wrong or bad or lesser. They hear explanations as excuses; that's them, not you. Sometimes it's easier to let them than to try to educate them. I know a lot of people on the boards are sick of NT bashing, but most NT's I know are nosy folk. Put any one of their questions to them, and they don't know what to do. It's like watching a fish out of water flailing about on the floor. I can accept a nosy NT or an arrogant NT - but it doesn't mean I have to like them or be around them if I don't want to. I'm like, why waste my time or energy or breath on someone I don't like, or behavior I don't like? If you're around someone who enjoys running over to you and flicking you on your forehead with their fingers, nobody would blame you for trying to avoid them.

Brilliant observations, mightypen515. One thing I always knew was different about me was my willingness to question myself, not necessarily in a negative way, but to make my own motivations part of the equation when evaluating situations. NTs don't 'introspect', when you question an NT the normal reaction from them is to defend, and I think this is one of the things that creates a lot of friction for aspies. We're always raising the questions they don't want to hear, and the assumption is that if we question what they do or think, it must be a personal attack.

One of the things that blew my mind when I found this forum was the realization that there are others who think the way I do, and it creates the same problems for them that it has for me.

I think your ideas are too important to be tacked on to a screwed-up thread like this and you should start a new thread on this(assuming that you haven't already).

This is the last time I am going to post in this ridiculous thread.

I ran across some stuff on the basic dynamics of stupidity this week that I intend to keep in mind:


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2 ... ger_effect
Vid: http://www.wimp.com/superiorityillusion/

How come they all say that people on the spectrum don't always understand other people's feelings and opinions, but yet NTs are just as bad??? If NTs were all ''I understand your feelings'' people, then my family would understand how I feel about noises and not be against my anxiety of noises! Get this:-

I hate it when my brother yawns really loudly. Yawns don't need to be loud. But his does, and there's just no need for it. And although it annoys other a bit, they can choose to ignore it - but I can't. If he's in the same room as me and lets out these stupid loud yawns, it is like torture to me. It's just disturbing for me, and it makes me not want to be associated with him. But if I try telling him (which I do a lot), he doesn't listen. All he does it backfire. When I say, ''I don't like your loud yawning,'' he just says, ''we we don't like your complaining!'' That irritates me. He's one of those people who you just cannot get through to, and he has an answer for everything, simply because he doesn't know what else to say.

Here's another example:-

My bedroom is downstairs, and it's hell being downstairs because I get so distracted to everything: TVs chattering, kettles boiling, cats meowing, people shuffling past in the hallway, doors banging.....it all seems much louder than it is in the bedrooms upstairs. One thing I like is to make sure everybody keeps the living-room door shut, because hearing the murmuring noise of the TV drives me insane when I'm in my room. I like writing a lot on the computer, and it's hard to write when there's noise coming from another room, when a door could easily be shut! (Plus my mum likes it shut to keep the warmth inside the room). But if my brother's in there, he deliberately opens the door, which really winds me up. I want the door shut for a reason, and he doesn't want it open for any reason (except to annoy me). But, everybody says that I'm being the ignorant childish one. How's wanting to keep a door closed because I don't like the chattering of the TV and people talking being ignorant and childish, and how's deliberately opening the door just to annoy me not being ignorant and childish????


Sorry - just had to get that off my chest. I know that other Aspies will know what I'm on about, because some (or most) of you probably experience similar scenarios to this aswell

My family didn't give rats when I was in my teens. I will never forget that.