NT Social Rules that are Absolutely Ridiculous

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yes, i so agree with these satements. the funny thing with the eyes for me is when i do look atthem, they tend to look away quickly, or ocassionally just stare dumbly at my pupils for a while.

i don't understand why NTs whant something done immediately when i'm in the middle of another project, and why it can't wait a little while for me to finish the layer of paint for example

i also get offended when any of my NT family (and ocassionally friends) either enter my room without permission (doubly offensive if i'm in it as well) or if they decide to distract me when i'm trying to focus on a project, though this may be born from an annoyance of having to remix paints that seem to dry out just when you need them most

...i do not think that i'll ever be able to understand what goes on in an NT's hormone fueled brain, no matter how hard i try

I've already thanked that person in person, why do I need to send a thank-you card as well?

Really, I've never understood that little rule. You'd think one thank you would be sufficient.

i don't even try.



same here

Why is it, that if you walk around with a blank / relaxed expression on your face, people always tell you not to look "angry". It seems to be smiling is mandatory. No wonder I have a hard time understanding people, if they all walk around wearing a fake expression or their face. I know this is to show each other they mean no harm (I was told by someone), and I have to admit I try to smile in public now, because it does work. But I think this is very strange, and in fact the fake smile scares me.

And then this: when someone else bumps into me, it seems that I am the one that has to to apologize? And if they bump into my shoulderbag (which they do all the time) they don't have to bother apologizing? And never ever just look angry if somebody bumps into you, because that will start them swearing at you.

Oh the thank you card thing really bugs me. My mom practically had to hold a gun to my head to get me to write thank you notes for my graduation gifts. So I asked if I could skip saying it in person if I was going to send a card, since the verbal/in person obviously wasn't sufficient. That didn't go over well....

Rediculous social rule: anyone sitting/standing alone, anywhere, must be deperately lonely and really really wants a random stranger to come talk to them, sit with them, bug them for an hour. Grrrr, that one bugs me a lot too.

As a woman, I find this incredibly annoying as well. Why can't I say my vagina hurts? Or I have cramps? Or that I'm bleeding? It's all natural, every single woman has had a menstrual cycle. As well as defecation, why is everyone so awkward about it? Haven't they ever read, "Everybody Poops"?

I also never understood why it's so hard to NTs to make appointments with friends. More so dates, I guess. They say, "Yea, I'll call you soon," why don't you make a date now? They're right there! It's just unnecessary.

Why do they think it's bad manners to sit in a way that's comfortable! I have gotten yelled at for sitting on my legs or with a knee up. And no disrespect to people in the culinary careers, but I don't think you should have to tip anyone if you don't want to. I'd rather walk up to the kitchen and grab my own plate.

It's rude to play video games at the table while everyone is eating.

I also hate the TV thing too where everyone is talking and you are trying to watch TV.

And today at my son's appointment my husband tried to get me to cover up while I was breast feeding because "it's a polite thing to do" and for f**k's sakes, it's a doctor's office, I don't need to cover up when I am not out in public and I am sure nurses and doctors have seen mothers breast feed their babies in the room. I mean they have to see their naked private parts anyway when they examine them so it's no different seeing their boobies when they are breast feeding.

Thank you cards, why send them out when the people were there when you received your gift. I find it as necessary to send them out to people who didn't show up but got you a gift anyway. But if you can contact them on myspace or facebook, I see no point in sending them a card if you can do it online. But ironically I sent them out anyone to everyone for my wedding gifts just because I felt like it.

yeah NTs can be annoying...one thing that annoys me the most though is the thing that when parents or classmates come to the conclusion that if you don't socialize that means you should go out and date your own sex for god's sakes!
i mean, it's ok...not the worst thing on the planet an NT can do. much worse. but major distraction in the midst of something to be enjoyed makes sense also.

One thing I don't understand about NT girls is why we have to go to the bathroom with them. Another thing is all those stupid casualties "hi" "how are you" "good morning" seriously I would love to not have to say that. and some things about being sensitive. to me that's somewhat like lying because you're sugarcoating everything.

one thing i don't understand is the phrase "its a girl thing"

life is funny isn't it?

[quote="alicedress"]I've already thanked that person in person, why do I need to send a thank-you card as well?

Really, I've never understood that little rule. You'd think one thank you would be sufficient.[/quote]

Oh my god, I totally don't understand that as well. It's like 1. you've had a thank you, what's the point? 2. What if you aren't thankful for it? do you seriously want us to lie through our teeth?

I get a kick out of how things only matter to NTs if others see them.

Can't leave a tip in the tip jar when the cashier isn't looking.
Won't believe anyone is sick if there's no outward symptoms.
Need to post kissy/smoochy pictures with their SO for the relationship to be validated.
People need to see them do chores to be validated as clean people.

And the keeping up the joneses thing. Not every NT is competitive like that but I've seen so many that gauge their self-worth based on how much they have in comparison to what others have. I imagine that they buy every cereal they see an advertisement for! I actually broke my NT husband of his bs materialism after we got married because the less I have, the better I feel. Let's hear it for simple and functional living.

But I do like the friendliness of the "hello"s and "how are you doing?"s. I think I prefer the way the Germans handle it. They tell Americans who move to Germany not to ask "How are you?" without expecting a real answer. But I don't mind the American custom of greeting each other superficially. I like when strangers do it. I like making eye contact and smiling. It actually does brighten my day by making me feel connected, even if it's not a real connection. Sometimes just having my existence acknowledged is pretty good. Plus, that superficial exchange keeps me off the hook for having to contribute something real... where I tend to say things that are misunderstood.

Oh! I forgot to include my absolute favorite NT behavior:

"No Drama!! !"

It amazes me how the more someone proclaims themselves "no drama" or that they're in a "drama free zone" that they are the direct source of all the so-called drama in their lives.

I mean, honestly, if something makes you mad, address it and then move on. That's what adults do. Adults aren't supposed to proclaim "drama free zones" then act horribly so they claim any consequences of their behavior is "baiting" and "drama". As far as I've seen their definition of drama is nothing more than other people not sharing the same opinion and having the self-respect to share that opinion. Yet this is somehow a big deal? How can they be NT and have that behavior as a social norm?

OMG, I don't understand most of what's in this topic too.

Especially the thank-you notes. My mother practically forces me to write them, even though I've already called the people and thanked them or done the same online. She claims that people are more likely to send me more stuff if I write thank-you notes. Except I fail to see how that works. If they honestly base giving me stuff on whether or not I write them a damn note repeating what I already said over the phone/online, doesn't that make them shallow?

But of course, my NT insane mother doesn't get it. She just tells me "It's what you're SUPPOSED to do." -______-

And regarding the periods, I was under the impression that it's ok to talk to other women about it, but not men. At least, in all-girl choir at my high school everyone talked about their periods and cramps. I never did because I thought it was stupid and pointless to talk about something personal like that to anyone. But I guess it's fine if you ask another woman if they have a spare pad, because they're more understanding in those situations.

yeah i never understood the bathroom thing either? I dont really pay much attention to it. It seems to be a thing where girls feel they need to stick together and be cliqueish, and gossip secretively about whats going on outside. I dont really know It just seems stupid to me. I mean I'll only go to the bathroom with another girl, if we both happen to need to go, then its makes sense to go together.

And the "its a girl thing", its something girls use to explain their behavior that doesnt seem to make sense. I think this one simply enforces more gender stereotypes.

The vastly different grooming requirements for men and women. Sometimes I like playing around with make up, but it's a hassle to do it every day (so I don't). And I trade it in for more shops selling comfortable shoes for females, or attractive clothes that will still keep me warm in winter.