Interactions with blacks

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Sorce
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25 Sep 2006, 11:25 am

sigholdaccountlost wrote:

Sorce wrote:

As a black person(undiagnosed) here's my advice. Instead of assuming all blacks do this how about asking the specific people why do they tease you? I don't really find your post to be offensive, I'm just annoyed when people believe blacks have the sole rights to certain human behaviors. A lot of time would be saved if people used just a little common sense.

How many times, have I put in my own experience?

I generally don't approach anyone, as an FYI for everyone.

I would like my question to be answered: How do I defend myself against bullies that happen to be, can I even say 'black' without it being racist, of a certain skin colour without them turning it into a race issue and thereby, getting away with the behaviour?

As for racism, probably omni-racism including auto-racism. In other words, I hate everyone.

The same way you deal with all bullies. You complain to the teacher. He/she doesn't do his/her job, you complain to the principle. Then you contact the school board if nothing happens after that. If you don't receive any help, contact a lawyer. If the bullies are being violent, file a police report.

Sorce
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25 Sep 2006, 11:29 am

xon wrote:

Quote:

Instead of assuming all blacks do this how about asking the specific people why do they tease you?

I don't expect very helpful answers.

Quote:

I'm just annoyed when people believe blacks have the sole rights to certain human behaviors.

I don't believe that. Any human is free to imitate, to the best of his or her ability, the behaviors of other humans.

The behavior I experienced that I wrote about it my initial post in this thread I have only experienced from blacks, and it has happened so many times that I had to question whether it was a cultural thing.

In Sociology class I learned that culture does exist and exists in different forms. Sometimes it does cross boundaries, and sometimes the boundaries aren't always clear. I used to wonder what soul food was. Soul food would be considered a part of black culture, spread throughout America. About a year ago, I read somewhere about the origin of soul food. Its nothing more than what both whites and blacks eat in the rural south, but outside of the south, where only blacks prepare it, it's called soul food.

You need a better sociology teacher. Soul food is not only prepared by blacks. There are plenty of soul food restaurants down here owned by white people who also prepare the food. It's more of a southern thing than it is black.

hyperbolic
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25 Sep 2006, 12:06 pm

Sorce wrote:

xon wrote:

Quote:

Instead of assuming all blacks do this how about asking the specific people why do they tease you?

I don't expect very helpful answers.

Quote:

I'm just annoyed when people believe blacks have the sole rights to certain human behaviors.

I don't believe that. Any human is free to imitate, to the best of his or her ability, the behaviors of other humans.

My reply is: reread my post and you will find the errors in the logic of your reply.

Til revido, Bis Bald, Tschus, Auf Wiedersehen, Adios and Adieu, I must go to class now.

Sorce
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25 Sep 2006, 12:25 pm

Let me clarify my statement. Even up north both blacks and whites prepare soul food. Because it's part of southern culture. You're still saying only blacks prepare it outside of the south. That's not true.

hyperbolic
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25 Sep 2006, 5:49 pm

Okay, that's better Maybe "prepare" was a poor word choice on my part. I guess "are who eat most of soul food" would have been a better substitute, for your sake. But I was never intending to say no non-blacks could prepare or eat soul food. For all I know, in this day and age of cheap labor, they could have Vietnamese illegal immigrants preparing the collard greens and chitlins!

lae
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26 Sep 2006, 1:20 am

I wish there was a magic spell that could be cast on all people so they just won't notice eachother's color for at least just one day. Could be very interesting.

Enigmatic_Oddity
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26 Sep 2006, 1:56 am

Then we'd have to guess people's possible cultural origins, rather than having a quick and easy frame of reference (skin colour) to work with. And we'd end up treating people all the same, most probably as if all people were of our own, or of the dominant culture.

aspoid
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26 Sep 2006, 9:41 am

Yupa wrote:

Wait, what do you mean you don't get the "I'm just messing with you" thing?
It's a common social tactic known as "friendly teasing". I and the people I hang around with at school use it all the time (and most of us are white, btw).
If you don't get it you're in serious need of a social skills workshop.

how is it considered friendly teasing when the person doing it is a total stranger?

whats worse is that Xon is a customer and the person at the desk is supposed to be serving them, not effing with them.

also, i think it is more of a domination thing coming from a person with low self esteem. there is no point in 'messing' with someone you don't know, especially someone you are supposed to be serving.

get of xon's case. they have a right to question whether or not they were being effed with.

Tee020
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26 Sep 2006, 9:51 am

aspoid wrote:

Yupa wrote:

Don't think of it as "being effed with." It's all in good nature and it's completly OK for the guy to do that. There is a point in in "messing" with someone even if they are serving you. It's just being friendly. You just don't see it that way. The guy can serve the OP and be playful too. There's nothing wrong with it.

Sorce
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26 Sep 2006, 9:53 am

xon wrote:

Okay, that's better

Maybe "prepare" was a poor word choice on my part. I guess "are who eat most of soul food" would have been a better substitute, for your sake. But I was never intending to say no non-blacks could prepare or eat soul food. For all I know, in this day and age of cheap labor, they could have Vietnamese illegal immigrants preparing the collard greens and chitlins!

That is something you'll see in urban areas. They usually have sign with a slash in it. For example, Chinese/Soul Food. It's also general knowledge among people who like good southern food, to avoid these places like the plague.

aspoid
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26 Sep 2006, 10:56 am

i disagree.

and i don't care what colour the person is. how is it friendly teasing when it is from a total stranger?

ma_137
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26 Sep 2006, 6:27 pm

aspoid wrote:

i disagree.

and i don't care what colour the person is. how is it friendly teasing when it is from a total stranger?

loosen up. I "mess with" strangers all the time. Its apart of small talk etc. Thats how friends are made.

aspoid
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26 Sep 2006, 9:50 pm

ma_137 wrote:

aspoid wrote:

i disagree.

and i don't care what colour the person is. how is it friendly teasing when it is from a total stranger?

loosen up. I "mess with" strangers all the time. Its apart of small talk etc. Thats how friends are made.

what are you doing on a sight for people with ASD.

the subtle social cues are a mystery for several of us. and i don't really appreciate you telling me to lighten up.

hey, that kid over there just took my ball and now him and all of his friends are playing keep away from me and laughing hysterically. should i just lighten up and accept the fact that these insecure a-holes are just teasing me.

hey, let me check out your wallet, dude, i gotta a magic trick to show you.
**takes the wallet and runs**

so should i be gullible my entire life or at some point should i recognize that there are people who are trying to get over on me. to have a good time at my expense?

hey lighten up everybody, its all good!

Sorce
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27 Sep 2006, 9:30 am

ma_137 wrote:

aspoid wrote:

i disagree.

and i don't care what colour the person is. how is it friendly teasing when it is from a total stranger?

loosen up. I "mess with" strangers all the time. Its apart of small talk etc. Thats how friends are made.

Saying a joke that you know will make the stranger laugh is teasing. Grabbing the person's stuff or lyng on more than one occasion is annoying. I do not like it when strangers come up to me and start grabbing my belongings. Which is why I grew out my nails and wear combat boots. You'd be surprised at how word spreads after a shin/groin shot because someone thought it was funny to play keepaway with me.

aspoid
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27 Sep 2006, 5:13 pm

Quote:

Saying a joke that you know will make the stranger laugh is teasing.

my point is;
how is someone with ASD communication and social skills supposed to know the difference, unless they ask?

that is why i do not find this thread offensive at all.
Xon just wanted to know is how to interact with black people. but he was immediately called a racist.

that to me does not seem like support for a person with ASD on an ASD support site.

and still, i do not agree that it acceptable to 'mess with' complete strangers. especially when the 'messer' is at work and supposed to act a little more professional. he should have gotten to know the person (xon, in this instance) better, before 'messing' with them.

still it sounds like domination to me, or at the very least having a good time at someone elses expense. which, to me, doesn't seem very professional.

KimJ
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27 Sep 2006, 11:37 pm

Okay, on a thread with 4 pages, I think xon's post (not Xon the poster) was called racist by one poster-with little justification. Holding the site in contempt for that is absurd. Most of us seem to agree that there are some cultural differences here that play into this miscommunication.

I know not everyone (or anyone?) agrees with my point, but I will restate to answer the question, "why 'mess with' complete strangers?". I don't think some Blacks see everyone as "complete strangers". That is, there is a Black culture that doesn't define territory the same way Whites culture does. I've seen it when I interact with strangers and I've seen extreme examples of it with my son-as he is noticeably autistic.
Yes, whites "mess with" strangers but usually there is some ice broken or they are themselves atypical. It's a familiarity issue, not an act of agression. Crossing the line into agression is when a stranger tries to get you to say or do something humiliating, which isn't the issue in the original post.

Professionalism hardly comes into play with the types of jobs and behavior being described.

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