Unwritten social rules of Facebook

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Really, wouldn't it be so much easier for all of us if we just quit Facebook?

Ai_Ling, I will repeat: if someone doesn't like how I portray myself, they can delete me as a friend. I honestly do not care. Their opinion of me is not my issue. This is only my personal rule, and if you concern yourself with what others think of you more than I, then feel free to ignore it.

I have a question for you: would you say the same things to someone's face? What I mean is would you tell someone, in person, the same thing you'd post as a status message? I feel like if you wouldn't say it to someone's face, you might want to re-think posting it on Facebook. Obviously, it's your Facebook account and you can (and should) maintain it however you see fit. But since we're talking about the unwritten rules of Facebook as they pertain to those of us who don't have the innate ability to perform mainstream social behaviors, I feel like it's worth discussing or considering.

The thing with Facebook is that it gives anyone you're friends with (and others, depending on how savvy you are with your privacy settings) a conduit into your private, personal life. It's easy to post anything that comes into your head on Facebook, because you don't face the pressure of performing a certain way to someone's face. Kind of the same idea as "Internet muscles" (internet ego). But if you said the same things or showed people the same material in person, you might be at a much higher risk for social consequences in real life. For example, there is a history almost as long as the existence of Facebook of people posting inappropriate status messages on their personal profiles which end up costing them their jobs and their personal relationships.

Basically, what I'm saying is that you can (and should) post whatever you'd like, but it's prudent to consider whether or not you would say that to someone's face (and the possible consequences if you do) before you post it.

Also, I should add: I think that EVERYONE, whether AS or NT, should go through this thought process. I think it would probably prevent a lot of the nonsense that is so annoying about Facebook. Having actually maintained Facebook pages for a living, I've learned a LOT about social interaction online. I know more about how people interact online than in person, actually.

Yes, I say all the same sort of stuff in real life too. If people don't like me in real life, they can stop talking to me. Again, I don't censor myself for others.

Fair enough. I don't feel like you're doing anything "wrong" there. I just brought it up as something for us (as a thread) to discuss or consider. Food for thought, or whatever.

i dont use facebook now a days but i think one of the unwritten rule is dont treat it like its twitter where you update your status every minute. The one that personally bug me is tagging. I mean I'm not in that picture so why do you even tag me? But i realize maybe they don't want me to feel left out or something. I don't know its just weird.

I do not have a Facebook account, and probably never will.

That said, it seems to be considered "creepy" to actually look through someone's photos, despite the fact that they went through the trouble of uploading them to a social-networking site presumably to show them off to the whole wide world.

That one really bakes my noodle.

I don't really worry that much about the FB social rules. I act and write the way I act and talk everywhere. If someone does not like it, they can block me.
I have met interesting people just by chatting on a mutual firiend's wall.

It's not that serious. It's just a web site, after all.

Great tips, guys

So, what do you do when someone "pokes" you? I don't post very often unless I feel like I have something interesting to say, does it mean they think you haven't been active enough?

It's just something people do for fun; they will sometimes engage in "poking wars" where Pokes are exchanged until someone gets sick of it and stops. It's quite trivial really.

I can't figure out if its rude not to chat to someone else who is also on chat. I've switched chat off because of this.

Don't freak people out. For example, say if you have an NT friend called Hannah, who is quite popular but likes you and speaks to you and sometimes hangs out with you. Don't randomly put in your ''what's on your mind?'' box something like ''Hannah is a really good mate''. I know that sounds nice and makes you think that writing that might make her like you even more, but that is not how friendships work. It is acceptable to write it on her Facebook page thing, but not your own, because she might get embarrassed - not because she's hanging out with you but because you may sound like a goon who only has one friend. I must admit, even I would get a bit freaked out if somebody randomly wrote that on their status. I don't know why, because it's a good thing, but.....I can't explain how it's not such a good thing, but something tells me it's weird.
Unless you had spent the day with her and then wrote on your Facebook ''out with Hannah - she's a good mate'', but if you just put it randomly just for the sake of writing something, that's when it could freak people out - especially if you're not popular.


Also - don't keep writing about your special interests. Nobody wants to read it in the end, and everyone will start thinking you're very obsessed with this particular subject. I make this mistake every week.