I don't know why I can't make any friends

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Intellectual is as much a clique as any other!

Can I offer a piece of advice Mattman? For what its worth. I had the same problem when I was your age and eventually just stopped trying to date woman because I knew how it would end up. But now I am married and have a child. So what happened? I stopped worrying about what "they" thought about me and started thinking about what "I" thought about "them".

In other words, most girls don't care if you are slick or cool or cute or rich, they care if you are nice, not a creep, will call when you say and when you are out with them, you are with them and not the next best thing. Those who do care about all that other stuff aren't worth the time it takes to "prove to them that you are okay".

I'll admit, it was my wife who took the lead in our relationship. She called me and wouldn't take my stumbled excuses for an answer. She led the conversation and when I wanted to sit silently she happily sat there and waited for me. Gradually I got the picture - she liked me because of how I treated her, not because of how I looked, talked or acted. I just had to reign in the urge to talk about my pet interests, stay quiet while she spoke and every so often say "what did you do then?" or "that's interesting, then what happened?". And when she asked me questions, I just reminded myself to answer the question and not what I thought she was saying. And if I didn't know what she meant, I asked "what do you mean?"

It is not impossible for a person with AS to meet someone. I went through a number of "nightmare" dates and loooong evenings. I met some women who I wished I had avoided and others who left me bored to tears. But eventually, I met the right one; the one who accepted me for what I was and not what I thought she wanted. My wife accepted me without knowing I had AS (I didn't know I had Apergers').

Next girl you talk to, don't try and make her like you or worry what she thinks. She will tell you what she thinks if you give the chance. But here is a clue I learned from my wife; if a girl likes you and you talk to her, she will talk back. If she isn't interested she won't talk - period. Women are verbal and tell you their feelings by not telling you anything. Go figure.

I totally agree with InvisibleMan, don't worry about what all those other people think of you! If they judge you, well, they simply don't understand you, and they just don't see all the good things about you. They just think of how weird you look and all that superficial stuff. Superficial = stupid. So just remember that!

I don't really know how, but somehow I eventually learned to laugh at myself. I accept what I am, currently undiagnosed AS but trying to get a diagnosis at the moment. At the same time, though, I know that my rather eccentric behavior can be interpreted as, well... "funky," by NTs. Virtually everybody, NT and AS alike, likes humor, and there is much to be said about self-deprecating humor. It's hard to offend people if I make fun of myself, and humor puts a lot of people at ease. When I started to make fun of myself more, people began to feel that I wasn't so serious (and I'm actually very light-hearted, I just look serious and formal), that I was actually a fun person to be with (people who knew me well knew this part already though), and they subsequently opened up to me. With my behavior already being made fun of since elementary school, it seemed natural that I use what I have to my advantage.

You can't change the fact that you have AS. You DON'T have to be a slave to AS. Make AS work for you! It's just a matter of finding out how to do that to suit your own tastes and situations. Once you're able to do that, you'll go far!

Good luck!

Thank you very much guys – you’ve made the rest of my day better. And with your advise about how a girl will let you know – well, one young lady seemed to like me (she told me that I could use the computer she was on and even came back to finish something, meaning that she felt a bit comfortable while I did a little research). Thank you again.