I hate it when people jokingly insult each other

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I've never been good at the banter thing normally, with a few people I know it's o.k because it seems like we have similar styles of sarcastic humor or weirdness or they can cope when I misunderstand and take the joking too literally, but with other people it seems more intentionally mean or rude and I could never figure out the difference.

I hate it when people are abusive and say "I was just kidding" when they get called out on it.

This bothers me too, because I can't really do it, and it hurts my feelings when friends do it to me. Even if it's only a sign that they're close enough to me to do something like that with.

I feel like I'm always so sincere, and take things very sincerely. And that it prevents me from having social skills that I don't like to and can't really make fun of people. There's a lot of nuances in people talking communicating that seem so mean but aren't supposed to be. And I don't like it and it makes me feel self conscious that I don't want to insult or be mean to people I like, and that it doesn't make me happy if they insult me.

To some extent it's a way to be passive aggressive to people. So sometimes it's not entirely harmless.