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Annoying, clingy-as-hell friends

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blue_moon666
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29 Nov 2012, 1:25 am

TornadoEvil wrote:
blue_moon666 wrote:
TornadoEvil wrote:
blue_moon666 wrote:
TornadoEvil wrote:
blue_moon666 wrote:
TornadoEvil wrote:
blue_moon666 wrote:
How did she "lead you to them"?

Seems like she's upset because you were badgering her. You said it yourself, so I don't understand why you're so confused. Obviously if you'r annoying a girl, she's going to block you.


Well, she posted on Facebook that the Social Skills section of Wrong Planet was being a terrible help. And her forum profile was blatantly obvious. She really isn't very careful about what she posts online. Maybe she didn't do it on purpose.
So you saw her facebook, then went on wrongplanet to try to find a profile that matched? That's called cyberstalking. Most people don't like that. If she was trying to break contact with you, why do you think she would want "lead" you to WrongPlanet? Your story doesn't add up.


I was interested in learning about the site. I was already thinking about the topic that I found her post. And her profile picture was already one she had used on Facebook. I should of kept quiet I guess. I do have a fixation on her, and its been very hard for me to deal with. And I already said I'm not sure she lead me there on purpose.
Seems to me you're blaming her for your fixation. You say things like "she did a number on me." From what you say, it's pretty obvious that she didn't want your attention and I highly doubt that she would have wanted you to stalk her on WrongPlanet. Why are you blaming her for your inability to control your impulses? I'm still not understanding your logic.


I'm just trying to describe what happened. No one has to be blamed for anything. I have a fixation, and it has to stop. And I don't understand how arguing about what happened is going to help.
What's alarming is that you're trying to blame the woman for your actions. Maybe you need to take responsibility for yourself and learn how to control your own brain. I was alarmed by your first post, where you blamed the woman and said that you need to establish "guidelines" for her. You're trying to play the victim and it's not healthy. That's like if I stalked someone, broke into their house, and then explained that they "lead" me to their house and therefore they "should be more careful" about where they go. I'm just not sure that logic would hold up in court. Quite frankly, this woman could easily take you to court for harassment if she wanted to. And the fact that you're harassing her is your fault; not the woman's. I know I sound harsh right now, but I'm trying to tell you the truth so you can make the conscious decision to stop the unhealthy behavior.


I happened upon one of her posts here. Past that I guess its my fault for following the rest of them.

I wasn't sure what you were refering to about blaming her, but I wanted to set guidelines in order to keep my condition from worsening. And if I have to do that I guess I should stay away from her.


You said "she really did a number on me." You also said "she should be more careful about what she posts." That sounds alot like you're trying to play the victim by shifting the blame to the person that you're stalking. It's probably best to stay away from her as much as possible. In the end it's your responsibility and you can get in alot of trouble if you are incapable of controlling your emotions.



TornadoEvil
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29 Nov 2012, 2:09 pm

blue_moon666 wrote:
TornadoEvil wrote:
blue_moon666 wrote:
TornadoEvil wrote:
blue_moon666 wrote:
TornadoEvil wrote:
blue_moon666 wrote:
TornadoEvil wrote:
blue_moon666 wrote:
How did she "lead you to them"?

Seems like she's upset because you were badgering her. You said it yourself, so I don't understand why you're so confused. Obviously if you'r annoying a girl, she's going to block you.


Well, she posted on Facebook that the Social Skills section of Wrong Planet was being a terrible help. And her forum profile was blatantly obvious. She really isn't very careful about what she posts online. Maybe she didn't do it on purpose.
So you saw her facebook, then went on wrongplanet to try to find a profile that matched? That's called cyberstalking. Most people don't like that. If she was trying to break contact with you, why do you think she would want "lead" you to WrongPlanet? Your story doesn't add up.


I was interested in learning about the site. I was already thinking about the topic that I found her post. And her profile picture was already one she had used on Facebook. I should of kept quiet I guess. I do have a fixation on her, and its been very hard for me to deal with. And I already said I'm not sure she lead me there on purpose.
Seems to me you're blaming her for your fixation. You say things like "she did a number on me." From what you say, it's pretty obvious that she didn't want your attention and I highly doubt that she would have wanted you to stalk her on WrongPlanet. Why are you blaming her for your inability to control your impulses? I'm still not understanding your logic.


I'm just trying to describe what happened. No one has to be blamed for anything. I have a fixation, and it has to stop. And I don't understand how arguing about what happened is going to help.
What's alarming is that you're trying to blame the woman for your actions. Maybe you need to take responsibility for yourself and learn how to control your own brain. I was alarmed by your first post, where you blamed the woman and said that you need to establish "guidelines" for her. You're trying to play the victim and it's not healthy. That's like if I stalked someone, broke into their house, and then explained that they "lead" me to their house and therefore they "should be more careful" about where they go. I'm just not sure that logic would hold up in court. Quite frankly, this woman could easily take you to court for harassment if she wanted to. And the fact that you're harassing her is your fault; not the woman's. I know I sound harsh right now, but I'm trying to tell you the truth so you can make the conscious decision to stop the unhealthy behavior.


I happened upon one of her posts here. Past that I guess its my fault for following the rest of them.

I wasn't sure what you were refering to about blaming her, but I wanted to set guidelines in order to keep my condition from worsening. And if I have to do that I guess I should stay away from her.


You said "she really did a number on me." You also said "she should be more careful about what she posts." That sounds alot like you're trying to play the victim by shifting the blame to the person that you're stalking. It's probably best to stay away from her as much as possible. In the end it's your responsibility and you can get in alot of trouble if you are incapable of controlling your emotions.


I have a train of though that says she hurt me. One that blames my obsessiveness, and one that blames myself. Its my responsibility to choose between them. I'll choose to blame my obsession. And that sill leaves me somewhat obsessive. My mind can be slippery. I'm Mitt Romney, things can just change to suit my environment and how I'm feeling. I mostly have to just say no to thinking about her.

For reference: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt204272.html and http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt169368.html She just doesn't seem very careful online.



TornadoEvil
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02 Dec 2012, 4:22 am

So, an update on my obsession. Due to someone bludgeoning into my head with a nine iron how stupid the way I was thinking. I was able to go back and rethink some of my more anxious thoughts and that appears to help me immensely with my self-esteem, and my ability to control my thinking. I guess my obsession has more to do with anxiety than anything else.

Overall, I'm just naturally a very anxious person, but I think I can get myself much more in control from now on.



blue_moon666
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04 Dec 2012, 7:10 pm

TornadoEvil wrote:
I have a train of though that says she hurt me. One that blames my obsessiveness, and one that blames myself.
It's your problem, not hers. That's like if I had an obsession with ice cream and then blamed it for making me fat. Or as another example, it's like if I followed someone home, broke in, and then blamed them for "leading" me. You cannot blame someone for existing. You can only blame yourself for being impulsive and inconsiderate. Did it ever occur to you if you were more respectful she'd still be your friend?



TornadoEvil
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04 Dec 2012, 9:17 pm

blue_moon666 wrote:
TornadoEvil wrote:
I have a train of though that says she hurt me. One that blames my obsessiveness, and one that blames myself.
It's your problem, not hers. That's like if I had an obsession with ice cream and then blamed it for making me fat. Or as another example, it's like if I followed someone home, broke in, and then blamed them for "leading" me. You cannot blame someone for existing. You can only blame yourself for being impulsive and inconsiderate. Did it ever occur to you if you were more respectful she'd still be your friend?


Yes, I should have been much more respectful of her. I shouldn't assume she is trying to lead me or anything. I should just keep my stupid mouth shut in those situations, and I shouldn't follow her. I know its my problem for being obsessive.