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Signs that someone is losing interest in you

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lidsmichelle
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28 Jun 2016, 9:23 pm

They never seem interested in what you're saying, or really try to maintain conversation with you. You feel like you're talking to yourself.

They make excuses for why they can't see you, cancel plans.

Or sometimes people literally just ghost on you.


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nurseangela
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28 Jun 2016, 10:26 pm

Fnord wrote:
1. He stops calling, texting, emailing, or otherwise trying to communicate with you.

2. He avoids making any plans with you, relying on vague, noncommittal excuses instead.

3. He stands you up after you and he have made specific plans for a date.

4. He is not as affectionate with you as he used to be.

5. He doesn't even try to initiate sex with you.

6. He doesn't notice any changes you make in yourself (ie, Hair, clothes, weight, et cetera).

7. He acts defensive - over-reacting to simple questions - and even accuses you of attacking him.

8. He seems reluctant to share any personal information with you.

9. He nit-picks your behavior - your words, your actions, your decisions, et cetera, - as if trying to pick a fight.

10. He seems completely oblivious to - and totally unconcerned with - your feelings.


These are really good. You sure there isn't an NT somewhere under that cape? :mrgreen:


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Summer_Twilight
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29 Jun 2016, 5:18 am

1. Make a commitment to attend your things but always bail with excuses about everything else being more important
2. Will admit that they aren't good friends and promise to change but never do
3. They can be quick tempered if you confront them



auntblabby
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29 Jun 2016, 5:19 am

it is as though they are trying to get you to go away on your own.



Summer_Twilight
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29 Jun 2016, 7:52 am

auntblabby wrote:
it is as though they are trying to get you to go away on your own.


These kind of cues are known as "Unwritten rules" of social relationships. It basically means that one has the right not to disclose with you why they don't want to be with you.

Example: I had a childhood friend who I knew for 6 years decided that she wasn't interested in me anymore after she met her first boyfriend. I received subtle hints such as:
1. I invited her to out to dinner to celebrate my birthday and she wanted to bring her boyfriend along
2. We had a two and a half year pause of not speaking and when we re-connected she invited me over to
her house to sleep over. When I went over:
A. She had one of her guy friend's over
B. All she wanted to do was yap on the phone to everyone else rather than catch up and see how I was doing.
3. When she first started dating I would often call only to be told that she was waiting for her boyfriend to call
4. If I would talk about my limited interests over the phone she kept boasting how cute her boyfriend was. "Oh my boyfriend is so cute."
5. She decided to join me for the prom since I had an extra ticket
A. She asked my mom if it would be okay to bring a date for herself
B. At the party she sat around and kept complaining "This is so boring."
C. She left early because she was complaining that she was feeling sick
D. Her mom came to pick her up but she didn't really say "Goodbye" and nor did she wave at me.



nurseangela
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29 Jun 2016, 10:27 am

Summer_Twilight wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
it is as though they are trying to get you to go away on your own.


These kind of cues are known as "Unwritten rules" of social relationships. It basically means that one has the right not to disclose with you why they don't want to be with you.

Example: I had a childhood friend who I knew for 6 years decided that she wasn't interested in me anymore after she met her first boyfriend. I received subtle hints such as:
1. I invited her to out to dinner to celebrate my birthday and she wanted to bring her boyfriend along
2. We had a two and a half year pause of not speaking and when we re-connected she invited me over to
her house to sleep over. When I went over:
A. She had one of her guy friend's over
B. All she wanted to do was yap on the phone to everyone else rather than catch up and see how I was doing.
3. When she first started dating I would often call only to be told that she was waiting for her boyfriend to call
4. If I would talk about my limited interests over the phone she kept boasting how cute her boyfriend was. "Oh my boyfriend is so cute."
5. She decided to join me for the prom since I had an extra ticket
A. She asked my mom if it would be okay to bring a date for herself
B. At the party she sat around and kept complaining "This is so boring."
C. She left early because she was complaining that she was feeling sick
D. Her mom came to pick her up but she didn't really say "Goodbye" and nor did she wave at me.


That's the bad thing about women, once they get a bf then they totally shut everyone else out and focus just on him. This actually backfires on them when the guy starts feeling smothered and thinks she's being too "clingy". She should take things slower and still make time to do things with her friends and give her new Hunny a breather. :mrgreen:


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I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


Summer_Twilight
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29 Jun 2016, 10:53 am

:D Actually my childhood friend didn't push all her female friends away. Just me. It was because I wasn't acting like a regular teenager by the time she was. For her it was all about being social and cool. I also acted like an 8 year old rather than a 14 year old.

The sad part of this situation is she never really grew up. Rather she still seems to act like a rebellious teenager in always feeling the need to have a guy on her arms along with setting bad examples for her son who is now 14. So she is and was not really good friend material to begin with.



League_Girl
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30 Jun 2016, 10:34 am

They never want to hang out with you
They are always "busy"
They don't call you
They often accept your invites and then cancel
They often exclude you


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EveyHammond
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04 Jul 2016, 8:54 am

1. They often tell you their lives are none of your business
2. They keep postponing about getting together. "We'll meet next week. I just have such and such to do."
3. They invite you to do things but when someone else comes along that same day, they brush you off with something like, "Well I didn't know that my friend Suzie Q was going to be here today and we haven't seen each other in forever. So we have some personal things to discuss so would you mind doing this another day? I'm sorry."
4. They come to your things but they don't talk to anyone and find a way out by coming up with some lame excuse.
5. If things don't work out on your end to do something together they act like they are relieved that you aren't there.
6. They don't admit that they aren't interested but rather make up excuses and soothing comments.

"I'm sorry that I haven't been a better friend and I need to work on that. (If you are mad at them) I get that you are mad at me however I have a full time job, my marriage is failing, I have health issues etc. We'll do something soon though," and never do.

7. They often try to find things that you don't have in common with them when you don't get invited somewhere and you ask why
8. They send everyone but you a greeting card, postcard whatever.
9. They move away if you say hi to them without saying hello



Ladybeetle
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07 Jul 2016, 8:27 am

I'm not too great at reading those signs either, but the things I have noticed are:
- If you ask them how they've been, they just say something silly like "Good"
- They hang out with people you don't usually hang out with
- They don't respond to your texts, calls, etc.
- They tell you you're clingy
- They don't laugh with you



EveyHammond
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07 Jul 2016, 11:25 am

1. They come to your parties but ignore you the entire time even though you invited them
2. They don't come to your things either say yes but stand you up without calling
3. They often let you know that they are "Busy" or have plans to something else.
4. They decline your invitations to things by saying "I will have to check my schedule and get back to you," yet never do.
5. They don't want to be at your gathering though they put on a front with you while finding a way out.
6. They can be brutally honest
7. Everything and everyone are more important
8. They ignore you if they see you
9. You are excluded from being told big news in their lives like if they are engaged or have lost a loved one
10. They rub it in your face that they got together with other who are your friends
11. They brush you off on the phone in a snarky manner such as"Sorry you have the wrong number" before hanging up. They can also talk on the phone with their mouth full. "I'm eating."