clubbing & pubbing alone & getting depressed

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Works for me. Most people seem to just move from side to side and move their arms around and they don't do very well either. I already know I don't dance well, but if other people are also bad it takes the pressure off of me.
That seems to be the only reason for me to even go to clubs anymore is to dance (despite my badness at it). If I go with someone it's ok, too. But meeting people in a club is mediocre at best. Most of them aren't worth the time, and since they're drunk they won't remember you. And if they do remember you, they'd be sober the next time they saw you and that uninhibited person you met at the bar who seemed accepting and cool is now one of the people you don't like in real life. So there are definitely better places to be.

Clubbing and pubbing?? Arghhh ANXIETY LEVEL 7 ALERT...ABORT MISSION!

I have never gone to a nightclub in my life. I have never been interested - I have no interest in dancing, little or none in the music. I could not pick a girl if my life depended on it, and ultimately I want a serious relationship anyway. I don't enjoy getting drunk. So there is no reason whatsoever for me to go to one.

You gotta learn to be fun before you can get away with being serious in a relationship.

If going to a club is not your thing, then you wouldn't have fun there. Go to a place in which you do have fun. Anyone who wants to be in a serious relationship with you needs to accept you for who you are and should have similar interests, at least to some degree.

Right. I am not being specific to clubs. It is just that the light hearted dating that people do has a purpose. Or rather, that it causes mental development that is needed to be successful in more serious relationships. Its pretty uncommon to marry your first sweetheart.

Sticking your tongue down a total stranger's throat in a darkened room filled with dozens more total strangers, flashing lights and sternum-crushing "music" is not "light-hearted dating" by any stretch of the imagination.

In fact, if I were to write my own version of Dante's Inferno, it'd rank as one of the things most likely to warrant its very own circle of Hell.

I've been to two nightclubs in my entire life - one in my hometown, and one at university in Southampton. I went to them both twice, just to see if I could muster up any enthusiasm for them, but I couldn't find any. Hell, when I was at the club in Southampton, all my friends eventually vacated the seating areas to go onto the dancefloor, leaving me by myself/on my own/alone. God, I hated trying to fit into that (especially since dancing in public is a horrifying experience). So much so that I quit trying.

Ok, now you quoted me, and you can see it in my post, in your quote, and in my quote of you as well. Read the first two sentences I said..

"Right. I am not being specific to clubs."

Yes, you did say that. And the idea of not giving a relationship everything is just as repellent as bright lights and loud music.

The fact of the matter is this: when I like somebody, there is no middle ground. It's always all or nothing, unfortunately.

This is why I try to steer clear of things like that whenever I can.

Ok, my boyfriend and i decided to actually go to a club yesterday, one that we'd been to before. I just wanted to dance--- the people don't really matter much these days. Most people either find me strange or think i'm drunk (but it's only me being me).
I had gotten tired from dancing so i sat down. This usually causes people to want to talk to me since sitting down is some sort of code for "talk to me, i'm bored.".
I have a problem recognizing people (faces) unless i've seen them over 100 or so times. They just don't register to me unless something really odd stands out ( a 2 foot tall pink mohawk or a tattoo of a flying elephant on their chest might stand out, and i might recognize them for THAT.). This girl sees me sitting there, smiles really big and comes up and HUGS me. I had no clue who she was but i was sure I'd met her before by the way she came right up to me (she did not smell of alcohol). This was kinda disturbing. My boyfriend tells me "oh, that's Jenny. you remember her, right?". I didn't. It happened again later that night with another person I'd met before but couldn't recognize at all. I won't remember their faces the next time I see them, either. Even if I did, all they'd have to do is change their hair or outfit and I might not recognize them again!! Why does this happen?? There were people at the club which i knew and recognized, but these people were ones that i'd seen practically a zillion times or were very unique (such as a pink mohawk or odd tattoo...).
It's not the clubs or the loud music that bother me (i love music and how it seems to enter the body, and I love to dance)--- it's my inability to recognize people that i apparently "know". Does anybody else have this problem?

I agree completely. I don't go to clubs because I don't imagine myself having any fun there. I don't disapprove of them, but they're not my thing. And I would not want to pretend to be someone I'm not in a relationship, whether light-hearted dating or a serious one.

If you go to the same pub you will get to know other regulars and the bar staff, so you should have people to talk to there before long. If i have a few drinks I get better at talking.

I do not like clubs at all, loud rubbish music, people drinking to much and cheating on their partners, being groped ! !
I went to a club on saturday, i did drink rather a lot for me, people were comparing nipples, my 'friend' told someone i didnt know that i had a 'disease called aspergers'- later on she tried to kiss me (the friend that is), i danced, and a man got an erection- i would not have noticed had he not pressed against me. I have not laughed so much in quite some time.
NT's are reallllllllllllly weird.

EEEck!! ! I probably would have run at that point. I don't want to see erections unless they belong to my boyfriend.
You see, for me a club is better than a pub, because at a club I can ignore other people and dance, and if someone starts to bother me I have room to walk away. The loud music also deters most people from talking too much--- you actually have to find a quiet area and so alot of it is just "hi" or "excuse me". If I see a friend I can do just that. In a small pub there isn't much to do EXCEPT talk to people, and pubs are usually small so the only place to retreat to is the restroom or the parking lot. That would seem more uncomfortable to me, unless I knew the people there well or went with someone close.

If you go to a safe pub where you know all the regulars and know people to talk to while you're there, it's not so bad. Going into pubs in a strange town on your own is a not safe or a particularly good idea.

I went to a pub alone a few weeks ago to see a band I really like, and I had a pretty good time. Igot a bit anxious at one point, but once the music started I felt fine. But the only reason I would do it would be for a band, I wouldn't see the point otherwise.

I've gone to townlots of times before, and I was okay.

I like to go on my own because I don't have to compromise with what the other person wants to look at, although it is nice to go with somebody.

It doesn't bother me.