Eye Contact

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Makes sense to me.

I really struggle with this. I usually look them in the eye if i know the person, but if i dont i analyze them. Like ill look at my teachers eyebrows, forehead, mouth, nose, and teeth. Then i start to wonder if they realize that I'm looking at their facial features, and then i forget to listen to them! lol But one technique i use is to stare at one of their eyes, because you cant really look at both. It just takes practice. Oh, but if you are just looking at someone and you make eyecontact, i suggest you start a conversation, smile, or say hi. If you don't, then they will probably think your weird. (i would)

! ! Sunglasses are a great idea. I find that it relaxes me in general because I'm not worried that I'll stare or freak someone out. Just the knowledge of a solution eleviates the stress. It is kind of like finding out about AS, suddenly everything has perspective and I'm able to direct myself with more purpose.

Friends and family say I'm "getting better" and all I can do is laugh because I haven't changed at all! lol, If anything my AS is becoming more pronounced; Through embracing differences I have gained access to knowledge that was previously "forbidden".

People say things like "stop staring, people don't stare" and it seems ludicrous, how can they say that when they are reprimanding someone for doing something they were saying people didn't do. But with the allowance of staring and the knowledge that when forced to look at someone I will stare, I can work with it instead of against it.

"By this art you may contemplate the variation of the 23 letters...~Anatomy of Melancholy, Pt. 2, Sec. II, Mem. IV" , ~The Library of Babel, Jorge Luis Borges

Do you remember which documentary?? or where? It sounds like a good resource.

Growing up I always watched peoples mouths until my father noticed and said I should start looking at peoples eyes. That didn't work out well but it did help lead me to the AS community.

You guys are a heaven-sent!

It used to be impossible for me to make eye contact, but I've gotten better at it. I wear shades whenever I leave the house, except when I'm at work. I usually end up either glancing from the person's eyes to the floor and back or staring too intently and probably freaking the person out (as well as freaking myself out). Eye contact often makes me ponder the physiological mechanisms that cause emotions to be conveyed through the eyes and that distracts me from what the person is saying.

I start out okay, just to find my eyes and my head to be wondering in all directions.

Over the past several years I have thought a lot about eye contact and being somewhat uncomfortable with it in social situations. I do find eye contact to be a problem socially, unless I expend some energy on it.

But after reading what people write here, and asking my mother what she has noticed about me, it seems that this symptom is comparatively mild for me. I'm not hugely uncomfortable with *all* eye contact. I don't think I sustain it properly in job interviews or with salespeople or casual acquaintances at work, but with waitresses, cashiers, passing people on the street, and with people I manage to feel casual with both at work and elsewhere, I don't notice any particular discomfort with eye contact. I seem to do much better about it also when *I* am not the topic of conversation. I don't know exactly how much eye contact I tended to make as a child; I don't remember anyone making an issue of it to me back in the 70s and 80s. I recall that I tended to spend more time with adults than with people my age, and I do know that I was always much more *comfortable* with older people, so perhaps this simply would have been much less noticable because of my unusual social contacts.

I don't see that the DSM lists any specific requirement regarding eye contact difficulties; it doesn't describe a required level of discomfort or avoidance. A few posts I see on WP seem to convey a sense of possessiveness or defensiveness about eye contact problems. I've inferred that some Aspies value a significant discomfort with eye contact as a hallmark symptom of Asperger's. Since I'm new to this identity, and only just now trying to get my mental and emotional ducks in row to seek a diagnosis, seeing that attitude repeatedly stated is making me nervous. Is this a common social attitude of the community? Do doctors and therapists rely heavily on this specific symptom in making a diagnosis? Is there a spectrum of morbidity for this symptom?

Is it considered more rude not making eye contact or locking in and staring? People often become angered when I glare at them. I am not making eye contact when I'm doing this. I look at the general area of the face as though the whole face is in my peripheral vision.

I usually look people in the eye for a second when i first meet them or first see them after a while then just look at their mouths, I've always done that. Sometimes I get bored and go from mouth to wall to carpet colours, I usually remember that they can probably tell my eyes are shifting so much and get a little embarrassed