Being rude and aspies

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Yes,I've been told that I'm rude, arrogant, obnoxious etc. All the good stuff.
I'm quite reserved in conversation but online I can be pretty ruthless. If someone is rude to me on an MB, I won't stop dogging them til they back down. I always HAVE to have the last word in an argument. And I love kicking people when they're down (metaphorically, of course). I don't know why. Probably cos I suck at sport and music etc so beating people in an argument is one of the few things I'm good at.

Out there: I’ve learnt that you actually have to speak to people to be told you’re rude.

Here: Probably, I’m blunt…I’m not sharp though. I’ve now realised that blunt impacts are capable of causing cuts. Live and learn.

I'm a boy (emotionally and socially) with the intellect of a man. You can see how this can cause problems, especially with a human who hasn’t really spoken to people before.

Probably best boiled down to this...

Aspies tend to be rude by accident...crime of innocence. A few people have been downright shockingly rude to me on here, and the Aspies I know irl have cut DEEP at times...but it doesn't hurt me in particular THAT much because...uh...I know it was by accident It wasn't SUPPOSED to mean what it ended up meaning...

NTs are more often rude on purpose. 'Lucky I went out with you at all since you're old and ugly' is a freakin' NASTY thing to say to someone, and I doubt anyone here would actually say such a thing to someone. The difference...generally, NTs will say things of a similarly rude degree, but it's INTENTIONAL from them.

And that's why NTs react the way they do most of the time when someone here puts their foot in it, I reckon. They believe that the rudeness is an intentional insult, not a simple case of not knowing how to word it with more sugar

For me it is mostly accidental, but I typically give them the rudeness when they start reading into it anyway. It's like being accused of sleeping with another woman when you did no such thing; if you have to put up with all of the crap anyway, you may as well get something out of it. So don't worry so much about whether you are being rude when you should be more worried about whether you should be wasting your time putting up with other people's nonsense.

I have one simple rule in life: everyone gets a freebie. If the sales clerk at the local Rat Shack wants to try and pimp their latest crappy phone to me then I'll give them the polite "no thanks" as I pass by. But if they are stupid enough to utter another word from that point then every person in a three block radius is going to learn some choice new ways to make someone collapse into tears solely through volume and word choice. People like to play their little hidden meaning games with us all of the time, but nothing screams, "I think that you are an idiot who doesn't know what he is saying," more than a sales puke who insists on continuing to try and sell something after being told no. I tend to apply that philosophy to everything, which is awkward the first time that someone screws it up but makes things much easier once they get it. For instance, we recently got a new guy in the department, good person and a savvy tech. A few days back he asked me, are you OK?" (It was early, I was tired, and it was work; should I be puking rainbows?) Instead of pointing out the inanity of the question, I calmly say that I'm fine and he asks, "Are you sure?" Like I was too freaking stupid to possibly understand the words that came out the first time that he asked. So he learned my rule. He still asks his intrusive questions on occasion, but never twice.

Try thinking of rudeness as a tool that you can break out whenever the situation dictates, as that's what helps me to keep the faux pleasant thing going while diverting those that set out to annoy me.

I don't mean to be rude but I have definitely had my moments.

Right. So basically if you don't want to look at said cellphone, person is going to wear it because you can't give them the time of day.

Yet so many people here complain that NTs don't want to listen to them.

Sorry, but it's so hypocritical...if you expect people to listen to you, you must make the time to listen to them It's the way it works.

It's not THAT HARD to humour people you know. Smile and nod, once it gets too excessive 'sorry I have to do something' and move on.

Sorry, I just don't see what's so arousing about offending people.

I say and do inappropriate things mostly because I'm by myself pretty hard to offend. Sometimes when I upset people I don't even understand how and why.

I used to be a worse offender, but I'm better now. I just try to be nice all the time. When I get to know someone I can be more straightforward, but it's just because I'm no longer carefully selecting each word I say and am relaxed.

I'm not rude so much as I'm tactless. I don't intentionally set out to embarrass people, but I often don't think about the consequences of my words. Now, something like what your boyfriend said would not fall into this category--that's not tactless, that's calculated to hurt.

i'm worried that a woman whose been very nice to me, thinks i'm rude because i told her i would call her back very soon, and it's been over a day and i still haven't called her back. simply put, i do not know what to say to her. nothing new or interesting has happened. if i called her, i would not know what to say. yet i am afraid she will think i'm being rude. please help

I hate being "misinterpreted also."

and I too have the problem of having my humor taken too seriously.

So I just try to keep it "vanilla'

I can be rude sometimes but this is due 2 the way i speak i don't wanna hurt ppl but it ends up on a sour note instead.

im quite rude by accident sometimes saying offensive things with realising, but mainly saying something unnexpected and rudish into a conversation but i normally get away with it as people find my being blunt funny.

Since we have a social disorder it's normal for us to sometimes not be polite. I wouldn't say I'm rude but mostly annoying.