I repel other women

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Elitegirl-
I agree. Most women have the cattiness. I am not catty, thus, probably why rather quickly, I am excluded.. . But, there are a few catty women, here and there, who have taken a liking to me. For whatever reason, and so I do have a 'few' aquaintanances. <---(that just sounds so pathetic!) Though they are not women who I hang out often with. It's just that when we are together at functions for our children(who like each other as well), they are the ones I 'hang' with. Lol. I think our connection is that we have very similar values...& share much in the way that we are raising our children. In thinking about the word 'few acquaintances', one of those 'few', I think may have Aspie traits herself. Lol. She doesn't have much of a filter. She can come off as very brusque to ppl. I kind of like being around her because I feel less awkward. Haha.

With that said, I try when with them, my hardest, to NOT say anything strange or awkward...

I'm the same way, even though I'm masculine.

Absolutely not. I disagree that it sounds pathetic. I think it sounds realistic and more honest than those people that say things like "I have 300 friends on facebook"...really? are those people going to drive out in the middle of the night because you got a flat tire? Will they help you move? Will they be there in that time if dire need?

A few dependable acquaintances are better than any of those type of 'friends'.

One thing I have heard every woman I have ever heard mention this says:
They hate working for most women. They say they are too catty and too 'mean girls' in many ways. They say it reminds them of high school games.

I dunno. I've had women bosses and never had trouble out of them. Maybe they are different towards male subordinates?

I wonder if some of my female bosses have been on the spectrum since they were very direct and didn't try to 'handle me'. Uggghhhh....try to 'handle me' and we have trouble. Just tell me. Don't pussyfoot around and try to soften it. The more they do that, the more they make me nervous. All I can think of is this: "How bad is it that you have to spend this much time preparing me?" and usually, it's some run of the mill BS. Two seconds of "Don't do this or that" and we're done. Two minutes or more of hemming and hawwing and trying to 'soften the blow' actually makes me more tense and starts an overload process.

Whenever I have had female bosses(most of the time they were female), I would get so nervous that my awkwardness would get me in to trouble...and possibly fired. See the extreme I go to-->'fired'? Is that an Aspie symptom, btw? As I have found my filter to be missing at times..and also, I can tend to obsess about things because I need perfection in certain circumstances. That I worried I'd get myself into hot water. Or, that my NT woman boss would end up shunning me like everybody and then start nitpicking, checking my work, etc. In other words, go on a witch hunt to get me fired. Is this crazy thinking? I think so.....

I don't think it's crazy. But, I have a tendency to evaluate things based off observation instead of 'how it feels'. Mainly because I make such a mess sometimes of my communications. But, I think that the problem is that in today's world, as people try to take on the roles of others, they forget that the idea is to become better yourself, not just be a worse version of the other side.

Using the women in the workforce thing: There is inequality. But, to succeed is not the same as being the worse version of being a man in the workforce.

Long time ago i'd do seasonal work, at one particular place, it was going ok, day three the boss' wife was there, after some hours problems began, accusations, insults, finally I was trown out of work and the accomodation and had to leave.
It's the low(er) educational level mostly, and female jealousy, that makes them want to command and/or reject you.
In my experience.
And that you don't play their game, which I don't find it interesting, once I suspect that's going on.
For some reason, my neighbor-lady does it all the time. I just take it, but not too often. I can't do that; stating those overtly-covert blames, I try not to think much of it. I'm not female-verbal.

Also had the same with newagytypes, I was some sort of condemned zone for the ladiessection. Same old!!

I had a bit of trouble following that, but I hope I gleaned this part properly:

I have noticed, and been told, that I intimidate people because my mind works so fast and am not politic at all. While they are busy being 'hurt or intimidated' I am just trying to solve a problem. The problem is all to me. Not their feelings, not their desire to be top dog.

And, what is so funny about this is that I have no ambitions to take their job or replace them. I just need a job that works with my natural abilities and people that are just not so easily offended.

I get that I do not come across as nice as I thought (learning that one in one way or another on a daily basis) but, listen to the words. If they don't make sense (again, as I am learning) then ask again. I will not be offended being asked for clarification. But, I will be offended if they do not listen and just start to assume things.

Ok, this is just a thought, I read this section to learn, not give advice... but here goes.

Are you sure you are as socially acceptable as you think you are? I was over 30 before I realised that I misinterpret a lot of signals, body language and tone of voice and I come across completely different to how I thought I did.

I was great at eye contact, until I learnt that I give too much eye contact and make people uncomfortable.
I thought I didn't take things too literally, until I learnt that most of what I thought was supposed to be taken literally actually isn't.

Example:
Just last month, sitting in a group of 5 other mums all mid-late 30s, at a gifted kids games night. One mum is saying that her son is so unhappy at school she wants to take him to a gifted session one day a week but the school wont let her, she ends with "I don't want him to be there a minute longer than he absolutely has to". So I say, "you know technically the Ed department says you can take him out for 20% of school time and they cant stop you". She looks at me as though I've just said the dumbest thing ever, actually turns her body to face away from me and continues talking to the other mums. What just happened?

My friend was one of the 5 women in the conversation and also happens to be a psychologist specialising in AS, told me later that the reason I got a bad reaction was when she said "don't want him to spend a minute longer..." she didn't mean that literally. Apparently the point of everything she said was that her son is unhappy, not that she wants to take him out of school one day a week, I had missed the point and everyone else got it. Relaying this right now I still don't understand why all the talk about taking him out when that wasn't the point???? Why on earth can't people say what they mean.

This kind of thing happens to me all the time and I usually have no idea why.

Maybe I'm totally off, maybe you are very socially capable and not lacking self awareness like me at all. Just from a lot of what you said, I would have said all of that about myself 10 years ago, so thought I'd throw the idea out there, no offense intended at all.

I experience these awkward things with other women too, and have seemed to be more accepted by guys, although the reasons there are another question.

But yeah, I think in my own case it may have something to do with what zkydz said about uncanny valley stuff, and also which RenaeK said -- that perhaps I've believed I'm being more socially "normal" than perhaps I'm really coming across, and there is probably something "off" about me to NT perceptions even when I think I'm being cheerful, friendly, sociable, "normal" and taking part in the things in the correct way.

I suspect I'm not as skilled as I have sometimes thought I was, and the thing about women is, as someone else mentioned, many women still do the high school thing of cattily excluding or freezing out any individual who doesn't fit their mold, whereas men tend to be more easy going socially.

I've always found other women to be a problem for me in real life; excluding, treating me strangely, "that look" someone can give you, etc.

Not so sure that men are as easy going when it comes to other men. If you can't do the male bonding thing that seems to be universal then you are treated the same way that is described here by women.
I think it may be that we don't jibe that well with their preconceptions of how the same sex should work. ie, if you're male and can't do the male thing, you're ostracized. If you're male and can't do the female bonding thing, you're ostracized.

Maybe that lack of expectation from the opposite sex smooths things out a bit.

And, well, men can just be pigs (me included). But, so can women. And, for some reason, they all seem to want to tell the other sex what would improve their 'status'.

Men to women: Smile more, you're so pretty
Women to men: You know, if you lost weight you would be more attractive.

Yes, I have heard both and been lectured many times how to improve my 'attractiveness.' Not the helpful, wow, you need to bathe, we can't work like this type of thing (BTW, I am very hygienic). But instead it's usually the stupid stuff like the weight thing. My weight is a health issue, not an attraction issue.

I also run into this frequently (like, any time I am with more than one other woman).

Some of it with me is an issue of mannerisms-- I just don't "look open." I don't care. I really, really dIon't care. I can't follow the conversation if more than three other people are participating anyway.

Some of it with me is an issue of interests. I can talk about kids, housework, and cooking all day long (they've been my life for almost fifteen years now). I'd RATHER talk about books or ideas or politics or religion or something INTERESTING, but kids, housework, and cooking are pretty much my stock in trade. At least kids are interesting.

What I CANNOT discuss is Girl Talk. Sex (don't care to broadcast my sex life), movie stars and associated lust crushes (don't watch many movies or much TV, never had a lust crush or been able to feign one effectively), clothes and shopping (unless someone wants to compare thrift stores or talk about what areas have the best yard sales, I have nothing to contribute), gossip (don't enjoy it, it makes me very uncomfortable), Facebook (have an account, use it about once a year).

I just accept that, when another female comes along who enjoys Girl Talk, I'm going to be shunted aside. OK. Fine with me. I'll listen and store up information about female patterns of socialization (which usually makes me glad to be me instead). I'll listen and find out who in the group is struggling with depression or illness or anxiety or a special needs lite kid (because those are usually the people who end up friends). I'll watch my kids instead. I'll bring a magazine. If I know them well enough to be in their house, I'll go pee and clean the bathroom while I'm there (I'd rather scrub toilets with a toothbrush than engage in Girl Talk anyway).

RenaeK- I don't particularly think I am socially acceptable. That is the reason for this thread. There is something that I am doing wrong, something that I am missing, some 'aura' that I give off, maybe too intense eye contact as someone said, maybe I take things too literal as RenaeK said. When in a group of NT women, I am often either bored (gossip, one-upping talk, etc.), lost in the conversation-so I hide it and pretend I am following, or looking for a way to leave. On occasion, it's a topic that I am interested in and then I will participate, but I try and mince my words and expressions very keenly so not to get myself shunned. It's quite stressful for me.

Recently thinking that I am an Aspie & actually identifying with many of the Aspie traits, is the closest reason that I have found as yet, to my lifelong social difficulty with other women.