Richard_the_ Dogged wrote:
"Please treat me like people for Pete's sake" = Seeking Pity
"Treat me like people or you will suffer the same consequences as the last person who didn't' = Standing Up For Oneself and Others. And this is the only reason that any group ever gets treated decently.
People listened to Jesus because behind him were the Zealots, and they were always armed and ready to strike.
People listened to Gandhi because behind him were the Sikhs, and they could have sent the last of the remains of the British floating down the rivers within 48 hours.
People respect Native Americans because they took scalps.
People will listen to and respect those who are different, when they stop accepting disability labels, and instead start suing in courts and otherwise holding perpetrators accountable.
The most difficult realms will always be employment and intimate relationships, because there are no rules. But once we organize and stand up for ourselves, we will be respected there too.
You found a useful tool, and like someone with a new hammer everything looks to you like a nail. I don't see this strategy working well for seeking relationships.
A social equivalent might consist of feeling perfectly happy to ignore everyone else while doing something compelling (maybe, but not necessarily dramatic or spectacular). If someone wants to catch your attention, which they will, you'll then need to treat them graciously, but with the implicit(!) understanding that your acceptance of their approval has no bearing on you doing the compelling activity in the first place. This will only work if you fully commit to enjoying yourself even if everyone continues to ignore you.
Social violence and status-seeking seem like ends in themselves to me, and I want no part. I just need the attention of a few perceptive people, preferably people with a few tricks of their own.
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"I find that the best way [to increase self-confidence] is to lie to yourself about who you are, what you've done, and where you're going." - Richard Ayoade