Whale_Tuune wrote:
I don't have many close friends. I have one close friend, her friend who I am also friends with (but she's the link between us tbh), a few older church friends, a handful of distant childhood friends and a few online friends.
I still feel lonely a lot. Is this kind of loneliness part of the parcel with Autism? :T
That's a good amount actually. It's very good that you have a close friend, too. That's very important. I was told many AS people report a feeling of loneliness. Music and dance can help with the feeling actually - social swing dancing or social salsa dancing can alleviate the feeling at least while you are at the group dance. It does take a lot of time - the hobby of taking social dance classes.. I would advise to take notes on paper about what your family members do on a regular basis - take note of their little and big routines, so you can anticipate their routines and be part of family events. Send birthday cards and congratulate your family members on important events. Plan ahead of it. Make it a point to plan for the family's birthdays for the year ahead, every Sunday at noon for example. Take note of what your family members like, what they say they want you to do, and then plan on doing it and then put a check mark when you did it. Us aspies can get a lot of companionship from our families because they have known us for the longest time and we can get a mutual understanding without much communication.
Be very in tune and listen very carefully to recognize those days when you don't feel lonely. And make a point to continue doing what was preventing that feeling of loneliness.. so if it was a family dinner, or a social dance class, or an outdoor jog, or cooking at home and eating a health meal at home, or exercising - if that kept you feeling not lonely for several hours or several days, make it a point to stay in that routine and not fall out of it. Because once you fall into a bad routine that keeps you feeling bad, you can stay in it for many years and decades.
You may also have work friends. That will help a lot actually. Temple Grandin only had work friends actually, she enjoyed working together on project with other people.
Also, dating, marriage, and having a child can make you less lonely.
Pursuing a hobby can help. There are hobby forums that are very addictive. For example knitting.
Finally, feeling lonely and AS may go together like Arthritis and joint pain. You may just have it all through adulthood and into your older years.. but joining an AS support group can help a lot too.