17 Apr 2021, 1:31 am
19 Apr 2021, 5:11 am
cbd wrote:
i think it relates to posturing . im not a misogyneous but . sometimes a woman wants to feel dominance from a man . which allows them to play the subserveant delicate role .
yes Porn has perverted many concepts .. but i think its more physcology of male female role perception.
i worked with a girl who could be moody . i switched up one time and she was brought into frame . her perceived attitude fixed up , and she said sorry on the spot . i could feel what happened . i wasnt aggressive or being a dick .. but she felt put in place in that moment . like i wasnt putting up with her attitude anymore and she knew it.
some people act up to be brought down a peg on purpose , like an attention seeking child who wants the wrath of a parent figure . people are the same .. let it ride , they will carry on until you adjust the dynamic .
i see it all the time .. women who have no respect for their partner , he either folds or lays the mack down and commands the respect . its what she wanted essentially
yes Porn has perverted many concepts .. but i think its more physcology of male female role perception.
i worked with a girl who could be moody . i switched up one time and she was brought into frame . her perceived attitude fixed up , and she said sorry on the spot . i could feel what happened . i wasnt aggressive or being a dick .. but she felt put in place in that moment . like i wasnt putting up with her attitude anymore and she knew it.
some people act up to be brought down a peg on purpose , like an attention seeking child who wants the wrath of a parent figure . people are the same .. let it ride , they will carry on until you adjust the dynamic .
i see it all the time .. women who have no respect for their partner , he either folds or lays the mack down and commands the respect . its what she wanted essentially
Its human to want to be 'on the top' of others, but its also normal that unsureness and insecurity powers the same action. So maybe you was unclear and after the clarifying interaction she felt more secure? I would think unclarity about identity would cause insecurity in people a lot. For my self I'm hopelessly shy and I assume I cause this insecurity in others all the time. People hate to experience my lack of ability to look at faces mostly looking between the collar bones, or moving a bit away bc of my sense of safe space. I dont small talk and when what is talked about is interesting to me, I think I'm overpowering since I go deeper into issues that expected. No one approach me to talk, that is at least an observed fact. Even at WP. I think this directly links to the issue, but from the other side, possibly I force people to feel patronised.
19 Apr 2021, 5:42 am
Lost_dragon wrote:
mohsart wrote:
At first I thought the idea was ridiculous.
But there may be something to it.
The sexual ideal, force fed via mags and ads (and porn), is a teen girl with firm breasts, long legs etc.
We call "our" women baby. (Well not in my country, but still)
The norm (for some reason) is that the man should be taller and older than the woman.
Traditionally men worked and provided, while the women took care of the home. I'm not saying it's less worth cooking and cleaning nb, but if the man earns all the money it's kind of an allowance for the woman.
And there's fertility. And I think this is a reason for some of the things above, men are wired to look for women who can "give them" children.
/Mats
But there may be something to it.
The sexual ideal, force fed via mags and ads (and porn), is a teen girl with firm breasts, long legs etc.
We call "our" women baby. (Well not in my country, but still)
The norm (for some reason) is that the man should be taller and older than the woman.
Traditionally men worked and provided, while the women took care of the home. I'm not saying it's less worth cooking and cleaning nb, but if the man earns all the money it's kind of an allowance for the woman.
And there's fertility. And I think this is a reason for some of the things above, men are wired to look for women who can "give them" children.
/Mats
I've noticed this as well. As a tall woman, I've had people tell me not to wear heels or wedged shoes because it could make men around me feel insecure. Which seems baffling to me. I have a male friend who is 5'10 and I am 5'8, he has made remarks about not wearing heels around him because he doesn't want to bring attention to his height. Apparently in the UK, the average male height is 5'9. I know there is pressure on men to be over 6ft. Another friend joined our group, she is 5'9 and he was not happy about that.
There are certain female celebrities - which I'm not sure whether I'm allowed to mention here - that pitch up their voice and act in an infantile manner in an attempt to be attractive to their audience. It's nothing new - Britney Spears was doing this when she dressed up as a school girl and sang hit me baby one more time. Personally this actually makes me less attracted to a woman. I remember reading a study where they found that men actually prefer more mature female voices - such as Jessica Rabbit.
I don't like to be patronised, but I may put up with it if necessary. However, I have noticed that as my hair colour has changed, so have attitudes. I've faded into a dark strawberry blonde which means I get ginger and blonde jokes directed at me. When I was a brighter blonde, my intelligence was brought into question more and my achievements were down played. Interestingly, ginger women and teenagers in media are often stereotyped as outcast geniuses with anger issues. Compare that to the stereotype of blonde women being stupid or evil. I actually prefer the ginger jokes over the blonde ones. Sure, I could dye my hair, but I actually like being strawberry blonde - it's fun to watch people argue over whether I'm a blonde or a ginger.
Traits such as bright blue eyes and bright blonde hair are associated with youth, since blue often fades to grey and blonde goes darker. Blue eyes are often favoured in Eurocentric beauty standards. Personally I find dark brown eyes and green eyes to be the two most attractive colours. I have light brown eyes.
From what I hope I understand about this, you talk about biological evolution traits we have collected in the last 70 000 years. Many have a hard time with this gap in time, we all tend to think in terms of 3 generations, but the truth is that most of the adaptations we live with today are ancient. Lets take human living length and height as examples.
From back in time, max life span is assumed to be around 30-45 years (the average is more like 28). Females had to save up energy for taking care of children ie less body size, men had to build larger frames with larger leverage to be able to hunt better. This explain somewhat why females can have puberty earlier than men and the different in size, temper and how the genders attract each other. And all this is biologic evolution driven and nothing to do with culture or ethics or faith. Blond hair and timbre of voice and budding puberty was back in time signs of just started fertile age for women, these still are signs of attraction, not because of culture but bc of bl**y biology. Later the female voice get different timbre and deeper colour of hair. The male bass timbre during puberty has the same signalling effect but for some reason we dont use that as much. Anyway, this is how I think.
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