Letting people know about your Asperger's

Page 3 of 3 [ 47 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

Codenothing
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 14

05 Nov 2005, 4:13 am

My best friend knows, and she seems to accept it well but is still anoyed by it sometimes.

The only other people i have ever tried to tell was my parents and it didnt go over very well. They seem to think there is nothing wrong at all and that I Just act the way i do out of choice. My mom said she "knows" about aspergers and if i had it there would be no way i would have made it through the public school system I would have been special ed.

so I have not told anyone but my best friend sense then.

I dont think there is any reason to tell anyone unless you plan on becoming close with them and you trust they will understand.



ajs_line_of_silver
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 355
Location: Adelaide

06 Nov 2005, 2:56 pm

I told every one who in my life regularly. At complete random with out pre meditation or second though it worked out ok I guess I never really though about not telling till now


_________________
S?cuse me my reason is currently on holiday


Sarcastic_Name
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2005
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,593

06 Nov 2005, 3:45 pm

DinoGirl wrote:
Well, I like to wait until I can really really trust the person I'm going to tell, and to assume whether or not they'll treat me differently if I do tell them. It's not that I'm ashamed I have AS, it's just I'm not very open to being, well, open


Same, and I make sure they're smart enough to actually understand it all.


_________________
Hello.


Tool
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 3

06 Nov 2005, 10:18 pm

I told my friends my problems I had as a kid going to a mental hospital(which led to my diagnosis) once, just because we like to have 'story time' and I thought it'd make a nice yarn. They never really thought I had anything other than personality before, it didn't change anything at all. They hadn't realised I had any problems.



Ladysmokeater
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2005
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,048
Location: North of Atlanta, South of Boston, East of the Mississippi, and West of the Atlantic

07 Nov 2005, 5:06 am

I told my mom that I fit the profiles and she really thought I was a hyperconderact. THEN my younger sister, who is a nurse, brought her a pamphlet on Atuism. She says it seems to fit me now. I would NEVER let on at the station that I am. I fear that the level of trust in emergency situations would be compremised if I did. That is a firehouse culture thing. The guys on my shift used to be amased at the fact that I was such a trivia nut and "usless knowledge sponge". They have commented on my lack of social skills (and in a fire house no less) as well as my uncanny ability to run into things. They labled me (though not all at once) as an eccentric, clumsy, easy to startle, genius. lol or my favorite "crazy as a S#$%@ house rat". But I digress, I suppose what Im saying is that they can SEE the symptoms but telling them Im in the autism spectrum, that would be too much for them to deal with. Id be labled a lier, attetnion seeker, or a nut.
So, no, I dont let everyone know.
Had I a signinfcant other, I would tell him.



Jetson
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,220
Location: Vancouver, Canada

14 Nov 2005, 5:38 am

Ladysmokeater wrote:
I would NEVER let on at the station that I am. I fear that the level of trust in emergency situations would be compremised if I did.
I have heard that Aspies tend to make excellent EMTs because our reliance on logic and lack of empathy means we can make the hard decisions (ie: triage, radical life-saving measures) without getting too personally involved with the patient's plight. The hard part would be getting past the overload, but after that our ability to concentrate on a task without getting distracted by everything going on around us is another benefit.


_________________
What would Flying Spaghetti Monster do?


Ladysmokeater
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2005
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,048
Location: North of Atlanta, South of Boston, East of the Mississippi, and West of the Atlantic

15 Nov 2005, 1:30 am

Jetson wrote:
I have heard that Aspies tend to make excellent EMTs because our reliance on logic and lack of empathy means we can make the hard decisions (ie: triage, radical life-saving measures) without getting too personally involved with the patient's plight. The hard part would be getting past the overload, but after that our ability to concentrate on a task without getting distracted by everything going on around us is another benefit.


I am cool in emeg. situations, and strangly enough I can concentrate best when there is so much going on that no one else can focus. I just have to be careful not to offend patients/victiums or their families when I am honest and direct about an expected outcome.... For example, when the medics are working a PT and the family asks if they are going to make it, I have to be careful not to be direct. Im honest (to a fault most of the time) and I tell them that we are doing all that can be done, but I have been warned about telling them that it doesnt look good. But on the flip side, I have eased accident vicitms minds when I tell them exactly how lucky they really are to survive the accident they were in.
Even though I have been doing this job for almost a decade, and I am quite skilled at it, I fear that the label of "Asperger's" or "high functioning autistic" would cause the folks I work with to draw the wrong conclusions. Many of these guys, as lovable as they may seem, are not educated in disorders. Those would equate autism with mental retardation just as they do depression with weakness. Others would understand. I just dont know who I can trust at the station to take that chance with. So I dont take the chance at all.



Kiss_my_AS
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 261

16 Nov 2005, 12:01 pm

I don't feel the need for a 'coming out'. AS is not so wellknown and not precisely defined yet, but people have a tendency to define/judge/condemn undefined things, according to things that they do know and see. That leads to stereotypes, and endless discussions which I'm not up for. Besides, my close ones already know that I'm different, so what's the point of adding a label to it?

When people ask me if I'm an Aspie, I wouldn't deny it though. But I don't think that's very likely to happen, given the fact that most people don't know about it.



Jetson
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,220
Location: Vancouver, Canada

18 Nov 2005, 8:20 am

Kiss_my_AS wrote:
people have a tendency to define/judge/condemn undefined things, according to things that they do know and see
Which is just another reason why you would want to be the example in their lives rather than having them pick up strange ideas elsewhere. Once they actually know someone autistic they will be less likely to believe crap opinions they hear from someone else.
Kiss_my_AS wrote:
When people ask me if I'm an Aspie, I wouldn't deny it though. But I don't think that's very likely to happen, given the fact that most people don't know about it.
I think it's more likely that people will figure it out but be afraid to ask you. They'll conclude either that you don't know about AS (in which case asking "have you seen a psychiatrist lately?" is pretty awkward) or that you are uncomfortable with the subject.


_________________
What would Flying Spaghetti Monster do?


Kiss_my_AS
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 261

18 Nov 2005, 6:54 pm

Jetson wrote:
Which is just another reason why you would want to be the example in their lives rather than having them pick up strange ideas elsewhere. Once they actually know someone autistic they will be less likely to believe crap opinions they hear from someone else.


Hmm....I do not entirely agree. I understand where your coming from, but I could also teach them about autism/asperger without revealing my 'condition'. While I won't mind to do so I know it could make my viewpoint regarding AS sound stronger, while it actually isn't. The position of the messenger shouldn't be relevant for value of the message itself IMO. But I feel that people have a tendency to do so, so I concur that 'your way' might be better for most people to understand what AS exactly is. I just don't agree with that behaviour, but fact is that people have to have some kind of trust in some one in order to believe him. It just figures that I can't show that to 'em with some kind of mathemathical formula.
Still, even then there are other ways to be considered trustworthy when talking about a certain subject (if you've already shown in the past that you've got a lot of knowledge about that certain subject for instance). Plus, having AS doesn't have to mean that you know everything about it (nobody really does). Telling about how cope with it would be a reflection from your life, while other Aspies could have a completely different experience - and if they knew that it could make me less trustworthy again! So again, I understand where you're coming from, but also believe that there are more ways leading to Rome.

Quote:
I think it's more likely that people will figure it out but be afraid to ask you. They'll conclude either that you don't know about AS (in which case asking "have you seen a psychiatrist lately?" is pretty awkward) or that you are uncomfortable with the subject.


You may be right in general (I don't know about that) but the people I know REALLY don't know of 'Aspie me'.
My friends and family just never heard of it (not that they're dumb - absolutely not - but they've just never encountered it.) and while my co-workers may know of Aspergers, I doubt that they can 'expose' me as I'm not displaying 'typical AS behaviour' or at least not more than the common neurotypical man, I've blended in pretty well without any social problems.
I was asked to see a psychiatrist by my parents though, but for 'non-Aspie' reasons: they felt that aside from the normal stuff an 11-year old boy goes through I was a bit too enthusiastic of playing Barbies with my nieces when they came over. I honestly didn't know what the fuss was about and just thought I was being a good host for them. Oh well. I didn't have to go to the psychiatrist as they quickly learned that their observation wasn't the right one. :)



Nitz
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 19 Nov 2005
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 103
Location: Santa Barbara, CA

21 Nov 2005, 8:21 pm

I've told a lot of people so far, but only people who really know me. If they've known me for a while, then they know how I act and think that it explains everything about me. They see my AS as a good thing, since upon being diagnosed I've been feeling a lot better, and they're happy for me.

I have not told any strangers about it, because unforunately, first impressions matter, and I don't want to introduce myself by saying " Hi I'm Neil by the way I have Asperger's ". That would be awkward for most people.


_________________
rubysworld.thewebcomic.com


yanuary
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

Joined: 21 Nov 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 19
Location: LONDON, UK

28 Nov 2005, 8:33 pm

I don't have difficulties with whom to and whom not to tell, rather it's just how and what to tell.

It’s really difficult for me to explain AS without sounding like a pitiful loser, and like I’m talking nonsense, as most people have no idea what AS is.

And Different people need different information, for example, my lecturers need info on how AS will affect my studies and close friends need to know how it will affect our relationship.

It has been suggested to me that I should think about wearing a wrist band? You know the orange aspergers one. I wear the wristband out and about, around uni, etc and people ask what it signifies and I have the option of telling them I have AS, and what to tell them about it. It’s also good for raising awareness of AS.

What do you lot think?



Kiss_my_AS
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 261

29 Nov 2005, 10:36 pm

I'd definitely buy one, even if it was pink or something :) .



Sarcastic_Name
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2005
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,593

30 Nov 2005, 12:23 am

I think something we should all learn is that people in general aren't very intelligent, and a lot of people I know would either laugh at me or be completely confused by any explanation of Aspergers, regardless of how simplified it is. Unless of course, you just hand them a stereotype and say "Here we go!". Then again, I'm in high school, I don't expect to see any intelligence until after this.


_________________
Hello.


Lurker_Extraordinaire
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 12 Nov 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 389
Location: The Woods

30 Nov 2005, 5:57 am

Sarcastic_Name wrote:
Then again, I'm in high school, I don't expect to see any intelligence until after this.


Don't get your hopes up..........