Saying someone's name, or mentioning it.

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Nocturnal owl wrote: "But I never seem to like mentioning or calling out people's names, not even the username or anything."

I avoid using first names of people, the more so with people I know well, or I change their name in some fashion by abbreviating it or changing pronounciation. I do this to keep people a certain safe "distance" away from me in a social-emotional sense. With strangers I frequently use Sir or Ma'am or Mister so and so all of which are formal and thus safe. [Strangers are less likely to try to engage me personally.] I also try to avoid personal greetings - hellos and goodbyes - because of the danger of people intruding or coming too "close" emotionally or demanding of me a social-emotional response that I cannot give.

Using the personal name of someone is risky for me because it potentially implies a closer relationship that I cannot tolerate [over and above my work duties]. I am happier when people call me by my last name or also make a variation on my first name, but am very uncomfortable when they use my first name. It is the same with eye contact. With strangers I make very strong and intrusive eye contact [definitely not socially welcoming or warm]. With people I trust I make no eye contact at all (1) because I do not have to defend myself against trustworthy people, but, (2) because I also do not want to invite them "in" too close by chance and (3) their personal eye contact is painful to me - like death rays!

Jim Crawford.

I get uncomfortable when people call me by my real name (Casey).I go by "Space" or "C-chan".

-SpaceCase

Isn't it stange (but kind of reassuring) when a thread like this reveals you are not the only person to think that way.

I (subconciously) avoid addressing people by name and always have. I didn't refer to or address my parents as mum and dad at all through my younger years. Even now I don't do it often. I have gotten much better at using peoples names if I am telling someone else something but not in their presence.

I do also use the names of children (my daughter and others who I look after) but mainly by constructing the sentence as though they are not present and I am describing something they may do (eg. 'Tim is going to get his coat before we leave'). Young children especially seem to respond well to being addressed like that (which is good for me as I really have to concentrate to do it differently!), but the older ones (like adults) laugh at the mistake or treat me like an idiot.

Feels creepy using someone's name. Since I'm usually around only 1 other person at a time I just talk. Like to have labels or descriptive words to think with-but despise titles for objects. Like naming a product or an artwork, seems so fake & manipulative. Names for people-very common ones bother me & extremely uncommon ones bother me (not a completely accurate generalization). Hard to find a comfortable medium, not too simple & not too difficult. I don't like to hear my name called out loud (wouldn't matter what my name is)-I get sick of it fast.
Brandnames repel and deter me. The desperation to be both original & familiar, it's just so...
Random example:
"Sedan"-that's a vehicle, informational, so that's an okay word there.
"Corolla"-that's a model, a product, and the name is utterly devoid of meaning. Maybe in another time & place, but here & now, as an advertisement, it's been sucked dry of being a real word.
Not trying to be culturally/linguistically insensitive to anyone, hope my point comes across.

I thought this was just me. I hardly ever call anyone by their name except when absolutely necessary.
It seems to jar me for some reason having to do it.

Me too. I'm better about it now, but I used to call everyone "Excuse me".

I used to think I was the only one who was like this. Must be an aspie thing. I find it extremely uncomfortable to say people's names (even family/husband/close friends) and I really don't like hearing my own name either. It's not so bad seeing my name in writing, the problem is mostly with hearing it. I have no problem saying someone else's name if I'm talking about them, but I can't do it if I'm talking to them/addressing them.

Strange isn't it? And apparently situation-specific. Yet so many of us have trouble with this.

Calling people by their name when I want to talk to them feels awkward. That's why I hardly call people when I want to tell them someone; I usually just wait until they happen to look at me.

It doesn't seem limited to aspies

See also: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Falsifiability

Wow, I'm the same way. I hate refering/talking to people by name, even with family members (unless I use "My mom", or "My brother").

I also have issues with this. I often have to make a point to state someone's name (it is less problematic with writing but I still have to sort of remind myself to do it). Maybe there is a level of intimacy with stating someone's name... sort of as though you know a secret about them if you say their name... like Rumplestiltskin? It's interesting to see so many others with the same feelings about this. It feels somehow "inappropriate" sometimes when I say someone's name, like it's something I ought not to do.

Wow, I thought I was alone in the universe. I can't bear people saying my name but when I used to work in a call centre (least appropriate work for someone with a phone phobia!) I was told people really loved it and I was marked down for not patronising them with their name at least 3 times in each conversation. Needless to say I never got a pay rise. I feel that people shouldn't be using my name unless they know something about me as a person, and a stranger whom I am calling to get a balance on my bank account has no right to do that. I hate that they often ask now what I would like to be called and I say 'nothing, please just do the task' which they find weird. My husband and I call each other hun, honey, love, etc. NEVER by name!

Had never thought about it before really. I know Im absolutly horrid at remembering names. I still dont remember any of the names of my proffesors in college. Had a friend in middle school I couldn't remmeber her name for the life of me, so I just avoided having to use it. Eventually I found I could remmeber it if I thought of feathers when I saw her. (Her name was Heather). I hate when people say a persons name reppedily when talking about that person, or when they say my name reppeditly. example... Hi lacey, how ya doing today lacey? anything wrong lacey? I dont have a problem saying peoples names(ones I remember anyways) if I need to grab their attention or when asked, but, generally avoid mentioning names. Im pretty shy anyways, so, dont start up too many conversations with people.

I have this problem as well.. and it bothers me immensly.. i have never been diagnosed with anything.. i have told no one. just thought i am so shy.. im married and i dont say my husbands name.. it bothers me and i think i am soo wierd. what is wrong with me.. i feel we / he would be happier if i said his name... do i have some psycological problem. what causes someone to be afraid to say someones name or just feel awkward saying it..?