Do Aspies actually care about people?

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I'm a bit like this too: I'm not 'naturally' empathetic, but if I've been in a situation and someone has done something nice to me, I learn from it and repeat in similar situations

For example, when I was sick during a night out once, a friend of mine (male) followed me into the girls' bathrooms a few minutes later to check if I was ok. I was really stunned and happy that he did that and I've made a mental note to do the same for any other friends in the same situation. It's not that I deliberately wouldn't have before, it's just that it wouldn't have occured to me (I would have done as my bf recently did: wait outside and ask how I was when I re-emerged), or I would have worried if it was against some unwritten social rule.

I can't emphathise with things that I've never encountered. I'll do my best, and if someone directly says what they need (e.g company or a hug), I will always try to help.

I'm sure some do, and some dont.
I for one dont care about to many people ( like my parents ) and class mates ( only 2 people in class i would care for, rest are just stupid people )

but i do care about the few close friends i have

i agree with this, its not lack of emotion, it is just difference...

I'm an aspie, and I definitely care about other people.

People with AS have trouble in the empathy department, as it (Empathy) requires you to recognize foregin processes of thought. Empathy is the ability to truly "feel someone's pain" which I have always found rings hollow for me if I can't relate.

Sure, I can feel sorry for someone, but that's just pity. I can even be motivated to help them, but that's called compassion. Neither of these are empathy.

In a way AS is sort of like being a Reverse Sociopath, since the Socipoath can understand the feelings of others and use them to their own advantage quite well (empathy) but couldn't give a damn about other people unless it was advantageous for them to do so (no compassion)

Some of us have a hard time showing that we care. We have all the normal emotions, but we don't know how to express them in a way others would understand.

I hold myself up as proof that Aspies are not incapable of personal growth. Over time, we
can learn to be not "more normal" but more ourselves, more fully human. If you can learn more about who YOU are, you'll have less and less trouble deailing with the world.

Why would that be? If compassion comes naturally to you, why shouldn't your acts of compassion feel genuine? Do you think the other person would somehow sense that you are being phony and fake?

It does take some wisdom to know what would the best way of helping someone whom you feel you should help. Compassion without wisdom is not much good. Wisdom without compassion is even worse.

I think I care too much. When a person is being bullied, I always help him or her, I do/did this every time it was needed. I know how it feels, I don't want others to feel like that. I feel sorry for people for the most ridiculous reasons. Always did.

I can only speak for myself. To a certain extent, yes, I can feel empathy but I have trouble expressing this feeling externally at times.

Yes I care but I don't know what to the extent of care you mean. My grandparents died and I still haven't gotten over it. I did love them and still miss them and sometimes I get numb like it never happened and other times I just start sobbing.

My nephew is in the hospital, he's only 5 and I've been looking up his condition. I've done nothing but worry about him. He has no treatment for me other than being the little lovable guy he is. I don't think he's old enough to know my treatment of him but I think that's human for most people to worry about their treatment of others as seemingly shallow as that seems. My aunt acts all balistic about anyone that's had an accident or in the hospital yet she rarely sees any of us on a day to day basis. She's does not have aspergers.

Not sure really who this question is really aimed at. I think most of us have trouble in areas of empathy...I will give you that but I don't think we all suffer from a Disasscioate Personalty Disorder...and yes there is a diagnosis for that.

I will say that we have trouble in areas of what interests us. Sometimes we find ourselves in one-sided conversations thereby not taking into account as to what the other person is saying. This doesn't mean that we are narrow-minded but have trouble reciprocating a response or feeling from that other person's situation or circumstance. However I think it varies as does this spectrum of Aspergers.

Like it! Very wise and compassionate at the same time!

Hi Averin,
Thanks for the topic and it is really interesting to see all the responses. Just want to add I know many NTs who don't care or be it choose not to care. So kind of down to human behaviour, our experiences determine our behaviours to certain extend. This is vague, I will shut up!

Very true.

I've seen the other aspect of this..erm...spectrum coming from NTs too.

i dont have this too.

After reading this web site for a while I came to the same conclusion, sorry to say that. I think, ater all, a person with Asperger's does not necesserely mean "a smart person". There are both smart and stupid people among aspies, just like among NTs. It is hard for Aspies to cope with their being self centered. But smart aspies lean how to do it and make themselves do it sometimes. Silly Aspies never do. There is one 60 year old guy who keeps revealing things about himself on his my space page and it does not bother him that nobody cares... So, even with age - some never learn some basic things.
It is actually easy to understand: if you want to get something from people you have to give it too sometimes. A lot of aspies expect attention and understanding without giving a damn about what other's feel or think...
So, do Aspies care abt other's? Naturally - not. They CAN do that with some effort. Some make this effort and some never do.
For those who disagree and insist that Aspies do feel some compassion: Come on! what kinda things are you taking about? About some abstract pity? Go ahead and read this web site! How many people post their cries for help? A LOT! How many people really care and post something to support ( I mean SUPPORT and not just post their OWN story in return)?? Very few actually.

concur. Whenever my husband talks to me about showing that I care I tend to default to logical mode. Which I guess isn't a good way to show that you care.

I believe an aspie's smartness tend to come in more pronounced peaks and valleys, whereas with an NT, the ground tends to be more level and uniform.


I figure Aspies are driven more by a sense of logical justice moreso than compassion.

If you mean that they rather tend to judge whether a person who is suffering deserved the suffering (i.e. is it fair that he is suffering? is it his blame?) then what kinda caring about other's are we talking about?
Ok, I think the question of this tred should be specified. Because people here post answers to different questions, mainly two
1. Are aspies interested in others (or only interested to think and talk about themselves)?
2. Do aspies feel compassion towards others?(i.e Are they able to simpathise?)
So, as long as it is not clear what the question really is, there is no point in the discussion.. (((