When you meet other aspies...
I have mixed results, meeting other aspies. A couple of them have ended up being very close friends. But often I find other aspies difficult to be around, because they remind me how I look to others, which can be painfully embarrassing. I am working on being more tolerant, but I have not perfected it yet
Yes I'm very lucky, but if it's any consolation the more I've read over the last 3 days, the more I've realised that there is still an underlying discomfort for socialising. It's not that I don't like socialising, I love it in fact, but having to learn all these rules just to do it with NTs gives an unnatural edge to the whole thing.
Same here! I hate going into a social situation wondering how I should behave. Especially as so often I've been with a group and made an ass of myself because I broke about a million unspoken rules without even knowing they were there. I've often just decided to shut up so I won't look like an idiot.
I know only 2 other AS'ers, and I feel waaaaaaaaaaaaaay happier talking to them, because I don't have to try and put on a veneer to act 'normal'. I'd like to know more AS people. They actually seem a lot saner and less messed up to me than most NTs are.
TheLonelyGamer
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
![User avatar](./images/avatars/gallery/Games/Games_-_Doom_Face.gif)
Joined: 27 Mar 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 69
Location: Deptford, NJ
Yes I'm very lucky, but if it's any consolation the more I've read over the last 3 days, the more I've realised that there is still an underlying discomfort for socialising. It's not that I don't like socialising, I love it in fact, but having to learn all these rules just to do it with NTs gives an unnatural edge to the whole thing.
Same here! I hate going into a social situation wondering how I should behave. Especially as so often I've been with a group and made an ass of myself because I broke about a million unspoken rules without even knowing they were there. I've often just decided to shut up so I won't look like an idiot.
I know only 2 other AS'ers, and I feel waaaaaaaaaaaaaay happier talking to them, because I don't have to try and put on a veneer to act 'normal'. I'd like to know more AS people. They actually seem a lot saner and less messed up to me than most NTs are.
_________________
<a href="http://profile.mygamercard.net/GENTLEMENofLULZ">
<img src="http://card.mygamercard.net/gelsig/black/GENTLEMENofLULZ.png" border=0>
</a>
Yes I'm very lucky, but if it's any consolation the more I've read over the last 3 days, the more I've realised that there is still an underlying discomfort for socialising. It's not that I don't like socialising, I love it in fact, but having to learn all these rules just to do it with NTs gives an unnatural edge to the whole thing.
Same here! I hate going into a social situation wondering how I should behave. Especially as so often I've been with a group and made an ass of myself because I broke about a million unspoken rules without even knowing they were there. I've often just decided to shut up so I won't look like an idiot.
I know only 2 other AS'ers, and I feel waaaaaaaaaaaaaay happier talking to them, because I don't have to try and put on a veneer to act 'normal'. I'd like to know more AS people. They actually seem a lot saner and less messed up to me than most NTs are.
Sorry....don't get you....us? AS'ers or NTs?
Ichinin
Veteran
![User avatar](./download/file.php?avatar=26055.jpg)
Joined: 3 Apr 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,653
Location: A cold place with lots of blondes.
Can say it like this: I have problems talking to normal people, but geeks, nerds and "alternative people" are more easy because they dont start talking about sports and crap tv shows like it was the most important thing in the world and so called "anti-social" people are in my opinion more social than normal people - it is all an opinion of perspective.
Example: One of my friends can just come over, talk a bit, then we sit in the couch watching Discovery channel for a few hours without saying more than a few words. And afterwards we can talk for hours about what we saw, or any other tech/scientific subject that may come up - I LOVE that.
People who chitchat/just talk because it is expected in social situations or "is the norm" does not exist in my social network.
As for specifically aspies, i only know of one and there have been no problems, probably because we are both over 30 and share many of the same intrests.
_________________
"It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring" (Carl Sagan)
Oh right...
I didn't mean AS'ers don't have issues or anything like that. Hell as an AS'er I know we have plenty of problems.
I meant that, as people, AS'ers seem to behave in less f****d up ways towards others. Less judgmental and less complicated. Whereas a lot, though not all, NTs are very judgmental....some seem to really like having someone to put down and classify as 'enemy' or 'different.'
TheLonelyGamer
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
![User avatar](./images/avatars/gallery/Games/Games_-_Doom_Face.gif)
Joined: 27 Mar 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 69
Location: Deptford, NJ
Yes I'm very lucky, but if it's any consolation the more I've read over the last 3 days, the more I've realised that there is still an underlying discomfort for socialising. It's not that I don't like socialising, I love it in fact, but having to learn all these rules just to do it with NTs gives an unnatural edge to the whole thing.
Same here! I hate going into a social situation wondering how I should behave. Especially as so often I've been with a group and made an ass of myself because I broke about a million unspoken rules without even knowing they were there. I've often just decided to shut up so I won't look like an idiot.
I know only 2 other AS'ers, and I feel waaaaaaaaaaaaaay happier talking to them, because I don't have to try and put on a veneer to act 'normal'. I'd like to know more AS people. They actually seem a lot saner and less messed up to me than most NTs are.
Sorry....don't get you....us? AS'ers or NTs?
_________________
<a href="http://profile.mygamercard.net/GENTLEMENofLULZ">
<img src="http://card.mygamercard.net/gelsig/black/GENTLEMENofLULZ.png" border=0>
</a>
TheLonelyGamer
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
![User avatar](./images/avatars/gallery/Games/Games_-_Doom_Face.gif)
Joined: 27 Mar 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 69
Location: Deptford, NJ
_________________
<a href="http://profile.mygamercard.net/GENTLEMENofLULZ">
<img src="http://card.mygamercard.net/gelsig/black/GENTLEMENofLULZ.png" border=0>
</a>
I don't know any people who I know for a fact have been diagnosed with Asperger's, so I can't make a judgment on this matter.
As far as I know though, it seems a lot more difficult to hold a conversation with certain aspies online because the people I tend to add are the types that just respond "yeah" and "ok" to everything I say without contributing anything to the conversation at hand.
Other aspies have become great online friends to me however and are great conversationalists. Then again, so are the NT's I know online.
TheLonelyGamer
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
![User avatar](./images/avatars/gallery/Games/Games_-_Doom_Face.gif)
Joined: 27 Mar 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 69
Location: Deptford, NJ
As far as I know though, it seems a lot more difficult to hold a conversation with certain aspies online because the people I tend to add are the types that just respond "yeah" and "ok" to everything I say without contributing anything to the conversation at hand.
Other aspies have become great online friends to me however and are great conversationalists. Then again, so are the NT's I know online.
_________________
<a href="http://profile.mygamercard.net/GENTLEMENofLULZ">
<img src="http://card.mygamercard.net/gelsig/black/GENTLEMENofLULZ.png" border=0>
</a>
That definitely hasn't been my experience. In fact, some of the must judgemental pricks I've ever dealt with have been Aspies. Then there is the added bonus of the obnoxious twits using their AS as an excuse to be just as rude and disruptive as they could get away with
Also regarding the "us vs. them" attitude, I see a bit of that here, with the AS vs. NT thing. Maybe being new, my perception of this is exaggerated; but I have seen explicit calls for seperatism from a few.
As far as interacting, I don't experience a significant difference between AS and non-AS people when I'm not familiar with them. I have a very hard time interacting with strangers, regardless of who they are. AS and non-AS people present slightly different challenges. Although I do share similar modes of thought with AS people, their obsessions are not necessarily mine; and I can get just as annoyed at their non-stop talking and social cluelessness, just as others get annoyed at me for mine.
People are people; and everyone has their individual quirks. I'm more interested in someone who is rationally-minded, intelligent, and shares my interests; and get along better with them regardless of whether they're AS, NT, Bi-Polar, OCD, or whatever.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Hello & nice to meet you |
06 Feb 2025, 4:38 pm |
Where to meet women irl who are single |
07 Dec 2024, 12:25 am |
What would tech look like if Aspies ran the tech industry? |
28 Nov 2024, 3:48 pm |