Who else has difficulty making friends?

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It's one of the sad things about aspergers - we can so easily, and so unconsciously, be bloody irritating to be around.

And, we miss the cues, misjudge the timing, go AWOL at important times. We're not easy to have as friends.

I mean, put a room full of aspies together and what do you get? An empty room.

My issue is because most people would rather like or do the same things than talk about stuff like common interests or hobbies.

Very true indeed, Peterd. Well said.

It's the "AWOL at important times" bit that usually does me in.

I have trouble making friends too, because of my lack of eye contact and I say and do weird things. It is also hard me to keep friends, because of my problem with screaming children, crying babies, and barking dogs, like for example if I were to go to a restaurant or boardwalk with them and GOD FORBID there was a baby or kid screaming or crying I would freak out and embarrass the friend.

It is really weird that people you consider good friends and good people always tell you they are busy when you call. Its OK that its really hard to get friends but people hiding stuff from you and lying to your face that's the worst thing and you don't learn anything from it.

But if you wants friends be open to people and respect all of them and ask them about their interests and what they did in the weekend.

Same here..
It used to be so painful for me and I still cry when I get ignored by some people, (I do! they just don't return my calls for DAYS), but now I've come to the realisation that I'm different, not weird, just different. And that different is totally ok and we are needed just the way we are on this (or any other!) planet.

For me all of us together make up parts of an ecosystem. You need the air and the earth and the worm and the bird oh yes did I mention the snake?...all these things that make a beautiful whole working system. People like us are needed too. We have talents and abilities and, well, beingness that is needed. It means we maybe cannot have heaps of people that get us, but hey, we get to have other really cool and profound experiences not possible for those who are so "socially able". We are sometimes the hermits that see the beauty in things. The things behind things. Share it. Write it, sing it, think it, whatever.

If you can try to live your life in a way that is about what you are DOING with your time, not what you're wishing you were doing or who you wished you were doing it with, then maybe it won't hurt so much. You are perfect and exactly how you are supposed to be.

I have exacly the same toughs! If you enjoy the smalest things in life like looking at a tree, smelling something good, or talking to another human being, then your life will improve alot, and you will become more happy and satisfied and then people will be drawn towards you. But I still get hurt a lot when people treat me bad, that doesnt make me less of a man, it just means that I am a Highly Sensitive person, look it up on wiki. And I have also leant not too fight or hide my sadness and other feelings it will just make me numb and angry with life. Now I respect my feelings and are not embarrest by them.

I don't make friends with most people easily, and indeed would not want to be friends with the vast majority of people I meet. Certain people, though, I make friends with very easily. There's nothing fully "normal" about any of my friends, though. The end result is that I don't have very many friends, but I have a few good friends I can trust and who trust me.

if you have to "make" friends, then that makes them a product of your effort.
it seems absurd.
friends should be "found" and not "made".
that is what i think.

I'm with b9. I fall backwards into good friendships, not purposely seek them out. I treat strangers courteously, and if that makes me fun to hang around for them and the feeling ends up mutual, a friendship is formed on mutual respect and understanding. You can't get that from trying to force a relationship.

I have acquaintances that I've met on campus, at work, etc. But friends, the way I see other people who have friends that come to their house or call them? No. I have no idea how to make that work.

I can't make friends for crap.

I had one guy tell me that a lot of people didn't like me because I was too smart.

Someone else told me I was stupid.

Another told me that I was annoying.

Someone said I was a dork, a freak, a malcontent.

Truth is, everyone are those and more.

I did have one friend in high school, Dave. We did photography and... well that's about it. We hung out at both my house and his house, saw a few movies, even went to a yearbook camp together and worked on several other media projects.

After high school, we lost track of each other. Last I heard, he was an assistant manager at a McDonalds. That was back in 81.

After that, friends were non-existant, sans for my wife. I still can't figure it out sometimes because we-at times-seem to be polar opposites. I love her even when we argue about the stupidest things.

I have to say also that my family are my best friends, even though they're family. My wifes family on the other hand...

I have more to say but it's boring.

Well, I don't think I have that problem. I can make friends, loose them, and catch up with them again or just make them and keep them for a good few years.

Yeah same for me. Its really hard to make friends, I manage to make some acquintances but it seems to be hard to get them to become friends unless Im around them constantly. Even sometimes when Im around someone and things seem to be going well, I still cant make friends. Its hard to make that better connection.

I have a few close friends, but my difficulty talking to people and socialising makes me struggle making friends a lot.

I have more trouble keeping friends than making them.