When U told people about ur AS, what response did U get?

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the people that know i have AS are my family and my "friends" (familiar associates) and my employers and the staff of companies i work for.

everyone else i see does not know.


my family always knew i was autistic because i was diagnosed at a young age.
i was thought to have MFA, and later i was reassessed as HFA, then later i was reassessed as AS.
so the process of refinement in my diagnosis to lesser "severities" of autism (from MFA as originally diagnosed) was always a pleasant surprise for my parents.

my "friends" know there is something extremely different about me than anyone else they have met, and when they become very curious, i tell them.

also, i usually tell them if they are upset about some aspect of my behavior.

like if i do not ring them up or contact them in any way after we had a good time.
they wonder why i was not interested to maintain the "friendship" by contacting them, and i will then tell them that it does not occur to me to ring them.

they wonder why. i try to say that it is because i do not think of anyone when they are not in my presence, and that makes them feel disappointed i think.

another example is when i react severely to sensory stimulii. i may be seized in a reaction about something they do not notice. they know there is something "wrong" in my head and they should be told (i think) that i have autism.

it explains so much, and then everything falls into place for them and their feeling of insultedness (affrontery) dissipates after they know.
i do not tell them anything in detail. i just say that i am mildly autistic, and if they are interested after they read about it, i will tell them i am AS.

sometimes people become very full on after they know i am autistic. they cast aside all their embarrassment and fear of rejection because they think that my actions are not a result of my judgement of them, but rather, an unavoidable process of my brain.

this is not strictly true, and sometimes i do see them as pathetic, and that is a judgement.

i have not many friends (about 4 (who i rarely talk to (about once per month))).

i have to admit i have autism when i get new contracts for my work.
the paperwork has questions like "are there any medical conditions that may affect your performance in this role?"

i must answer that i have autism (i do not use the label AS until after i get the contract). they can see that my manner is not an average one, and an explanation is what they need. (if they do not get an explanation, then they will not hire you because they can not determine "who" you are).

they often go and read about autism and decide they will give me the contract.

after i am employed, then if i have to be present at an office on occasions, the bosses tell the staff (in private meetings) that i have autism, and that they should not try to interact with me too much about things that are not relevant to what my tasks are.

anyway, the bosses and staff of the companies i work for are all well adjusted to me.
they may not be if they did not fully know who i am.

people at the shops or other people i meet incidentally never know i am autistic, and they are left with a feeling that i am exceptionally maladjusted.

I am glade to see that there's someone wise and rational here and not another AS worshiper. Your avatar matches well your character.

The few people I've told, I've almost invariably gotten the response, "Not surprised." Go figure. Not like it matters, as those people aren't going to think more or less of me because of it.

"what is aspergers"

Got that yesterday after telling someone.

I've told two people about my discussions with my therapist and how he is pretty sure I have AS; both of them, completely seriously and without hesitation, said "yeah, I could see that"

Exactly.

I received therapy for years.
I was told it was for AS, but I was never told in a calm, sensible or positive way what AS actually was.

So if someone outside school were to ask me:
"What is Aspergers?"

I wouldn't have had a clue as to what to reply.

Or I'd have said:
"A conspiracy against me and my family."

Because that's honestly what it felt like at the time!

It was as if, in some twisted way, the therapists didn't want me to be able to disclose or get a second opinion.

It also meant that I couldn't objectively analyse the facts for myself and come to a sensible conclusion because the whole thing was cloaked in mystery. It made me feel angry and confused that there were no concrete or provable facts made available either.


It was if they were trying to tell me (on a subconscious level anyway):

"Keep quiet. We're treating you for a mysterious and frightening thing that no-one knows anything about. But because you're so weird and special, you don't honestly deserve to know why we're treating you this way and what we believe is wrong with you. We cannot allow you to interact with the other kids because we believe that you are incapable of doing anything. "


This was complete bunk of course.
My family know me.
I'm seriously no great mystery to them.
They have similar personalities to me.

I think the responses I got were pretty neutral. They were more or less understanding and had an answer to why I wasn't like everyone else socially.

I recently told a few friends. These were the first poeple I've ever really told. The reaction wasn't positive or negative.

I usually tell people before they meet me in person, so they don't try to hug me, which happens to be the fashionable greeting among young women my age around here. Because it would be a bad start to any social interaction if I bit them or anything. And of course I have to tell when I'm invited to some social event that includes things I can't participate in. If I just said no without an explanation they might end up thinking I didn't like them personally and was avoiding them.

So far I haven't got any really negative responses. A lot of curiosity, of course. People who have never met anyone with AS usually are not informed about the condition. They can't be blamed (though some people here seem to take lack of information as a personal insult?!? which is imo perfectly irrational), and I don't mind answering questions. I also got often "huh, but you're behaving in a perfectly normal way!", because I'm quite extroverted for Aspie standards (and maybe even for NT standards, I actually like talking to other people and I'm usually perceived as communicative and friendly) and my special interests are all more or less socially accepted, so when I'm in a 'safe' environment among friends and there's nothing that sets off my sensory problems, no one is ever going to notice anything unusual. People are usually VERY surprised when they hear that I have any issues at all since I'm good at avoiding situations where it might be noticeable.

If the people know me fairly well, the usual reaction is "That explains a lot".
If they've only seen me at my best/in situations where I excel, the usual reaction is "No, it's not possible, you're too smart/talented/brilliant/godlike/perfect in every way".

Quite true. Don't overestimate the general populace's empathy and ability to understand Asperger's Syndrome. Most likely it would be bastardized and lampooned like Tourette's.

I agree with this, but it's good to tell some people who know you well enough. I think it's a good idea to give them an explanation for some of your behaviours that may upset them or that may make them wonder a little about you. You never know what they might be thinking, and your aspie behaviours may be keeping them from developing a closer friendship with you.

However, it is certainly not wise to go around and tell random people you barely know about some syndrome that you have. There are chances that they know little if not anything about it, and the word "syndrome" has a negative connotation that will likely misguide them as well. In my opinion, if you have to tell someone you don't really know, it's better to say "autism" because it is more well-known. But again, that's if you really have to.

If anyone tries to do something that will make me feel uncomfortable or wonders why I choose not to go to noisy/public places, why I'm sensitive to touch, etc. I will give them an explanation (that I have sensory issues) but I wouldn't mention asperger's or autism. If they're curious about it, they can do some research and find out for themselves. Most people probably wouldn't care anyway.

So, this is my conclusion from the replies to this thread.
Thank you everyone for replying.