Is it possible to live a life alone?
ttqs84 wrote:
lostgirl1986 wrote:
I think it is but no matter how antisocial you really are, you need at least one good friend in your life to talk to.
i currently study in South America where women are expected to be beautiful (naturally or fake), prissy, domestic, undereducated, weak, and social above all. i don't meet with any of that criteria 'cos i can't put up with that BS. 3 years since i studied there i haven't had a single friend at all. no matter what country i'm at, i just don't fit in.
I'm just saying that eventually somewhere down the road in your life you might need somebody to talk to when your parents are gone. I'm not the most social person ever but I like to have a few close friends in my life to confide in and be there for each other. I mean, there are online communities like this but nothing online is really genuine. Nothing beats an honest, close, genuine friendship.
lostgirl1986 wrote:
ttqs84 wrote:
lostgirl1986 wrote:
I think it is but no matter how antisocial you really are, you need at least one good friend in your life to talk to.
i currently study in South America where women are expected to be beautiful (naturally or fake), prissy, domestic, undereducated, weak, and social above all. i don't meet with any of that criteria 'cos i can't put up with that BS. 3 years since i studied there i haven't had a single friend at all. no matter what country i'm at, i just don't fit in.
I'm just saying that eventually somewhere down the road in your life you might need somebody to talk to when your parents are gone. I'm not the most social person ever but I like to have a few close friends in my life to confide in and be there for each other. I mean, there are online communities like this but nothing online is really genuine. Nothing beats an honest, close, genuine friendship.
Online friends will never be genuine. Nothing will really replace face to face friendships and I understand your pain. Everyone here on wrongplanet is on the same boat. I really hate it though especially because I force myself to initiate all the conversations in my life but never make a friend. Maybe a good acquaintance but never a friend.
Everyone on earth struggles with relationships but after countless hours of trying to figure out why Aspies and autists have the problem they have I realize its a problem in how our brains view social communication. Ihave tried initiating contact with people. I have seen NTs have awkward conversation to but it is definitely NOT a matter of being awkward. I would say its a sort of " dyslexic "approach to social understanding. I mean we can actually understand social communication but it has always been a case of "being there and not being there" and compared to lower and medium functioning autists we are " so close and yet so far" and "out of the woods but not quite over the hill".
I find it really difficult to explain in the same way a dyslexic person would try to accurately describe what it really is like having dyslexia: "They are able to read and not able to read at the same time."
Temple Grandin explains it in her excellent book "The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships". NTs view social reasoning from general to specific while autists view it from the details and try to create a picture in reverse.. That's not accurate and I find it very very difficult to explain but at least try to get an understanding of what it means. I could use try to explain it from a calculus point of view: the derivative vs the integral which to me might explain it a bit better.
I always felt austists were very good at getting the integral given the derivative which may explain why we talk about subjects like this thread or why we have such an overarching view of the world and may have a better sense of moral justice. And NTs on the average seems to have better success at looking at the integral and get the derivatives which may explain why they may have difficulty to in relationships asn well but able to have a better chance of making friends.
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