I am 21 years old, but I still throw temper tantrums and beat myself up (not physically any more, but still emotionally) for not being perfect. My IQ is 145, I think, which means that I am more intelligent than just "gifted" but less intelligent than a "genius". I am okay with that. I don't think I need to be a genius in order to learn the things I want to learn. Nothing has proved too difficult for me to learn, except for emotions.
My friends are always older than I am, and even though I am in college I still relate to my professors more than my peers, intellectually. Emotionally though I am a bit of a spoiled toddler, but I hate that I act like that, so it's a vicious cycle I think.
I want to have better emotional intelligence, but I have emotional perfectionism. Now that I know that I'm AS, I don't worry as much about it and I have been acting calmer and feeling better lately. I have also started Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and I think it's working. But I feel like, if I'm so smart, then why can't I just control my emotions and get over it?
When I try to tell someone how I'm feeling, I start stammering and it's almost impossible to get the words out of my mouth. I end up being angry and frustrated. It's much easier for me to describe how I feel in terms of fictional characters and phrases I've already heard. I usually just feel my emotions like physical sensations but it's almost impossible for me to figure out why I'm feeling a certain way.
I wear my emotions on my sleeve, which means that everyone else knows what I'm feeling except for me.