What have you taken literally and it got you into trouble?

Post Reply New Topic

You are obviously better than me at social situations. I would have been puzzled and asked "Why do you think it is free?" I would later talk about how some guy at the hospital actually thought he could have the pizza for free.

Aw, I knew he was only kidding. Sometimes I get irritated when people do that just because I think the joke is stupid, but I did alright this time. Other times, I get crabby.

I remember in my first relationship, my ex kept saying things he didn't mean and he was always joking but I didn't know that. Anything he told me I always went repeating to my mother because I took it so seriously. My mom thought he was a crude guy and my ex was like "damn" when I told him I thought he was serious. He couldn't seem to grasp I take things literal so he can't be joking with me and he has to be careful what he jokes about. He expected me to pick up magically when he be joking or not. I don't think he cared but yet he still get upset with me for making him look bad because I took him so seriously.


But I look back and see it as him being stupid because he would joke with me and it would backfire on him always.

I have discovered a really satisfying answer to "How are you?" It is "Can't complain." It can mean a million different things from "I have literally zero things to complain about" to "It would be socially unacceptable for me to complain so I will be quiet instead" to "I have legitimate complaints that I must keep secret" to "My seasonal allergies are so terrible today that it feels physically impossible to actually complain." Think about all the responses to "How are you" that you've given, and the reactions you've gotten. Wouldn't most or all of those situations be reasonably well dealt with by "Can't complain"?

I must admit I feel I've discovered a marvellous social secret in "Can't complain." I use it all the time. I always hated saying I was fine when I wasn't.

as of lately, my response to "how are you?" is "hanging in there." i get a kick out of it, because i'm an arborist and literally spend my time hanging from a rope. same people will ask me "how is work?" and when i tell them all about my current job, they stare at me like "okay, no need to actually tell me, its just small talk" so you can see "hanging in there" works... cracks me up!

I've never gotten into trouble for taking things literally because I'm pretty good at understanding sarcasm (I'm quite sarcastic myself), but sometimes I just don't get jokes or sarcastic comments. I was getting some coffee with someone I don't know very well and he told me the waitress said they 'were out of coffee'. It really confused me-- how can a café ever be out of coffee?-- and I responded weirdly and a little angered. He at first didn't understand that I didn't understand his original comment, so we both sat there in confusion until he told me he was joking

I have quite a few to list, but I'll go with the most recent one.

The boss lady wanted to touch up the wax on a tile floor, and said we ought to scrub it first so the wax goes on smoothly.
I told her I could do it while I went about my other duties, and I would attach a scotch pad to the mop and scrub it real good-like.

Apparently, her idea of scrubbing isn't as brutal as mine, and thus I was rudely corrected, and left to think "What the heck did I do to deserve your rudeness? I'm trying to be helpful here..."

Umm major trouble. See around the time I got diagnosed, I was thinking about suicide, I wasn't super serious about it. But things werent going well anyways, and the school psych at the health center did an risk assessment on me. I answered the questions literally and I ended up in the psych ward for a 72 hr hold. Biggest mistake of my life! Its the worst thing thats ever happen to me and then later I met with the autism specialist psych and she explained to me about protecting myself and how you are not suppose to take certain questions literally.

Since then I learned my lesson, never mention suicide again. And since, I've mostly haven't and when i have people have known it was an overexaggeration and haven't taken it seriously.

When I first started school age 4 the teacher said we were there to learn not talk and I took it literally and did not speak for the first year and would barely whisper for the entire time I was at the school (up until age 10). I was the equivalent of a human sooty puppet, I'd whisper to the kid next to me who'd speak for me or in the teacher's ear if close enough.

I was also told by another teacher that I would have to wait to go to the toilet, that school time was for working not constantly going to the toilet. That earned me a lifelong habit of not using public toilets. I never used the toilet at primary school(and in the early years had many accidents on the way home) and very very rarely used them at secondary. Even now I'm reluctant to go unless I'm absolutely desperate.

I love the painting the rabbit and muddy boots on rug story.

I was doing work experience and was on a till on my own. I saw a shoplifter put something under their hat. However the instructions I was given were to press the button if I saw anyone shoplift and all the staff would come running. He could of course been just holding it as had not yet left without paying and actually shoplifted. They combined it by distracting me with their social skills and I didn't think it appropriate to raise the alarm in front of them and tell my colleagues there might be a shoplifter. I looked for help and I was on my own so it didn't look like all the staff would come running as they said. He did end up taking it of course and the manager was angry with me. Next week I had to stack sanitary products on the shelf and work on stock in the back. I was told everyone took a turn at this but didn't believe it was a coincidence.

Someone did actually explain "alright" when I was 14. At the time this was slang you were supposed to just say "alright" back to and it wasn't a question.

In sex Ed the teacher came over to my group and asked how are we making out. I laughed and said I'm not gay ( it was an all guy group) I got in trouble god some reason.

I also was asked once if your friends jumped off a cliff would you jump too. First I corrected them and said friend. Then I asked how high is the cliff? Is there water at the bottom? Is there something to catch me? What am I doing on rhe cliff. The teacher got really annoyed and told me to shut up.

When my friends and I were entering a car, someone told me to take shotgun. I though they were literally asking me to pick up a firearm. Even funnier, none of us were into firearms.
Me: "Shotgun?!"
Friend: "Yeah!"
Me: "Huh? Where do I sit?"
Friend: "Shotgun!"
Me: "Where's the shotgun?! I see no shotgun!"
Friend: "Al, it's the front seat."

While learning to drive, back (ohh, around 1930s or so), I was ordered to take a left, basically intruding on oncoming traffic that the instructor didn't see. I noted that I was holding for the traffic to pass, and he lost it and got irritated.

So did I: I turned directly into the lane to shut him up., and nearly got him, myself and my sister killed that night.

@Sweetgum, ever respond with to "how's it hanging" with "a little to the left"? (Sorry, it's juvenile, but given your occupation I can't resist asking...)

I've mentioned elsewhere that I had to have a gentlemanly aussie let me know that when someone you don't know asks "how are you?" you just say "I'm fine." If you're not, the questioner doesn't really care, and doesn't want to know anyway. In short, "how are you?" is generally social lube with someone you don't actually know well.

(off-topic) (and then, one noticed the date of the most recent posts before a week ago...) (/off-topic)

I got in trouble a lot for taking things literally. One of the worst problems I had when I was in school was answering sarcastic questions by my teachers or principles. They would ask me why I did something or why I didn't do something or some other question they really didn't want me to answer & I would answer & I got in trouble for it. My parents often heard from my teachers how I had an explanation for everything

When I was very young in an art class a kid held his head over a glue pot and said "Ah I've got my head stuck in the glue"

Another kid copied him, reciting the phrase word for word "Ah I've got my head stuck in the glue"

To fit in I did the same,only I actually put my head in the glue.