Wanting to be NT

Post Reply New Topic

I agree. We connect wonderfully when we can actually FIND one another. That's the problem. I live in a huge city and I've ran into ONE, ONE aspie on the bus (starts to feel like the Count).

And us having to accomodate them is a problem too if you ask me. Just because they HAPPEN to be the majority. Hmmpf... Who invents things around here? Who tends the be the catalyst for the quatum leaps in human knowledge? US. That's who. And who gets stuck doing their grunt work...hmmpf.

-ONE bitter aspie

Oh yes, that is SO frustrating! I wonder what life for Aspies (and other people who don't fit the mold) would be like if we didn't have to deal with bigotry, bullying, and pressures to conform. I've wasted so much energy trying to "fit in" and pretend to be like everyone else, all without knowing there was a reason I'm this way. I didn't even realize until after the fact that I didn't even LIKE what I was trying to do to myself.

I love that my post has gotten so many replies. its nice to listen to different perspectives. After reading, and the fact that things are looking better for me right now, I think I feel a little better about being an aspie. There will always be setbacks, but that means I just have to work harder, which in the end makes me more resilent.

I wouldn't change much, although I wish I had a girlfriend..

I've wanted to be NT for the first time, this morning. The feeling came after I've cut out an article out of The Vancouver Sun that was written on yesterday's retirment of the Routemaster Double Decker Busses in London. I told my Mom about the article and she said "Ok". Than I tought about the response, and thought that if I was NT and somebody on the Spectrum let their guard down, I would have said the exact same thing, in the exact same way, and I just wouldn't want to be that type of person. It froze my blood to think that the person who gave me life feels weirded out about my Quirks. I'd rather be on the Spectrum and keep my Cockneyfied Charm than be NT and be weirded out, by the Quirks of a wonderful, unusual person, or a Valley Girl, or a Slut, or a Nympho, or a Follower. I regret not wearing Red, today to mourn the passing of one of London's most notable Eras, of which I've mentioned above. I felt that I would have been revealing more of my shunned Quirkiness, if I did go through the Mourning of Red. The very News that I've read has given me the Power to Choose to get myself back into the Cockney Spirit for good. Now I'll be able to enjoy Christmas, this year. Last year, it was just another day, for me. Turn into an NT, or move to London. I choose to move to London, if I strike it Rich.

before I was diagnosed with aspergers, I was trying to fit in, trying to be an NT... obviously, because I had no idea why I wasn't like everyone else. Now, after being diagnosed I feel much better, and I've stopped trying to be an NT. All the trying to "fit in" was making me crazy, which is why I found out that I am an aspie. So, I'd rather be an aspie then an NT, because this is who I am, and if there was a cure I don't think I'd take it. I am glad, however that I've found out earlier in life, so I know more of what to expect.

I think I am normal, I think NT's are weird, but that is just me. My grandmother says it is a jewish thing, not related to my being an aspie, she says we have a natural inclination to think we've got it right and everyone else is wrong...
To be honest, I prefer being an aspie to being what I perceive most NT's to be. I wouldn't want to live like they do, most of them freak me out and I cannot understand for the life of me how they survive.

Same here. How do they live?

I did the same thing for 29 years before being diagnosed. Now, I no longer try to be an NT, and I would rather be an Aspie as that's what I am.

I have found most female NT's I know are obsessed with mundane and silly things and are so worried about what other people think of them I can't even grasp it. They seem to run thier lives based on strangers thinking favorable things about them. I think that is insanity at it's finest. And people think we are weird???

That's good that you can look at what other people have to say and reflect on that. I don't pretend that accepting to be AS is easily for anyone. AS or NT, we are human, and therefore social creatures. We have social needs that have to be met for us to be relatively happy. It's very "normal" to feel that a lack of happiness indicates you should change something about yourself in order to acchieve the happiness you seek. However, wanting to change things about ourselves that really aren't the problem in the first place only compounds the issue and distracts us from making choices that are more productive.

I read your first post and my reaction was that all your complaints are things you are vey capable of overcoming without having to be NT. I just don't think your mood at the time allowed you to have that foresight. NTs may be more friendly, but that doesn't mean they have good freinds or the right kind of friends. Aspies are notoriously selective about friendships, which is actually something many NTs have to learn. Either way, both NTs and Aspies need to learn skills in addition to their pre-existing disposition in order to find, make and maintain the right friendships for them as individuals.

The key to coping with "NT envy" is realizing that appearences are not always what they seem. Just because certain things look easier for an NT doesn't ipso facto mean they are happier than us Aspies. They have their own set of problems to compliment their advantages. In truth, the playing field is more level than you'd think or than what the "experts" (theones that insist AS is an profound deflect) would have you believe. We may live in an "NT world" but that world isn't all that great for many NTs either.

Something to consider: Conformity to the status quo does not grant happiness for anyone - it just grants a modicum of conditional acceptence. It's conditional because it depends on our continuing conformity. That requires making an ongoing series of choices to maintain that acceptence. Yet, for all that energy and time that goes into making these choices, there is never a real promise of recieving happiness in return, only acceptence. Therefore it is probably wise to conclude that happiness is sought by an completely different series of choices, ones that have as their actual goal happiness, and not mere acceptence. It is also reasonable to assume that this particular path may involve points of diversion from the status quo that may result is certain consequences. One is thus forced to conclude that they must weigh their choices: acceptence, and risk not being happy, or happiness, and risk not being accepted. Ultimately the choice is ours. [/i]

WTS [Asperger's Syndrome] wtb [Normal Life] pst!