How can anyone have no friends?

Post Reply New Topic

Some people just don't have a way to make friends. When I was in school a few years ago, I made a couple of friends there and through them, met a few more people that I became friends with. Then, over the course of a couple of years, they either moved away, got married, or flaked out. I'm out of school now and there's no one I'm interested in being friends with at work, so I'm SOL.

I think it just comes down to luck sometimes. Maybe I'm prejudiced but I tend to just observe people and it seems from observation alone that 95 percent just aren't my type.

son you are 18! i had acuaintences in schools, i guess you could call them friends but let me tell you something, once you get out of school you will get a job. and THAT is just like being in school, people gossip and sh-t, hell they even play pranks. nobody takes there work seriously unless they "hold the football" if you know what i mean? yeah so get ready. also aspies seem more normal online, but just wait until you meet one. you will either be shocked and run away or try to be polite like fake polite. we communicate better when it isnt face to face. hell ive cyberd with some hunnies online but in real life there would be no way i'd be getting tail like that

Me too.
By the way, I really like your nick.
Oh, and I made a sort of friend or two when I worked at one place for 7 years, but neither lasted after I left. Even though I have contacted them more than once since then.

Original poster -- you are 18, the age of high school. Wow, I remember high school being a horrible place where I managed to make one friend, sort of. When you're older it gets tougher as people pair off. As a woman without children and not wanting any, it's very hard to relate to other women because the first damn thing they want to talk about are kids and by now the grandkids they're looking forward to. I did and always will prefer my cat to any brat. So you see how it goes.

Believe it.
If family can be counted as friends, then they are my only friends apart from those who I talk to online. Since I don't go to school (I study at home) or work, I don't really meet anyone & haven't made any friends. Even when I was at high school I didn't make any friends.

I have connections to people...family & online friends, just no one my age or anyone who lives anywhere near me.

I've never had many friends. I didn't have any through school as I was the social outcast. I used to sit on the edge of the playground by myself. Things improved slightly when I went to university and I met one or two people who I'm still friends with now. I've also got 2 local friends who I know through some shared circumstances, but I don't see them that often. I would struggle spending too much time with people although sometimes I do feel lonely. It's quite easy to have no friends because it's hard to connect to people.

I've only got one person I'd count as a good friend. What usually happens with me is that I don't see someone for awhile due to them moving, going to different schools etc, and by the time we see each other again I feel too awkward around them.

You pretty much wrapped it up for me.

To me, I have hard to grasp the idea of actually hanging out with someone.

I do have something like a social network on MSN, forums, facebook and so on. If that's too anonymous and impersonal for people, well I don't really have time or motivation to run all over the world to meet all the people I talk to every day in person.

I spent a good deal of my life with no real friends, just a lot of drinking buddies and work acquaintances. I have friends now, though I only count fewer than ten of them as my closest circle.

I'm extremely social (which I wasn't always) and know a lot of people, but in general two big things prevent me, and as I realise now, have ALWAYS prevented me from having a lot of real friends: first, I'm apparently rather dyssemic, and people often dislike me for no good reason, and second (and probably most importantly), I don't like most people. I mean, I REALLY don't like the. They're vapid, boring, and dishonest, in general, and despite Aspies being known as self-centred, I find NTs are FAR more so. So basically, I have less interest in befriending most people than they do in befriending me. Realising that made the fact that so many people don't like me a lot easier to deal with.

Well, when I was twelve there was nobody who wanted to play with me, nobody who ever phoned me up, nobody who wanted to pair up with me for school projects, nobody who invited me to his birthday party, nobody who would have named me if asked to name his friends. I wasn't hated or anything, I was just silent and passive and invisible.

It depends, also, on how you define 'friend'. There are people I like and chat with and Facebook with but whom I'd only call acquaintances, not friends, whereas many people I know would say they're friends. Also, because of the kind of person I am, which includes being an aspie, the kinds of friends available to me tend to be other quiet, bookish young women with whom I have very little in common except superficially. The mind-spark, the connection, that starts and cements a friendship isn't there.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but I will be honest. I found your post very hurtful, and am quite upset right now. I know it was never your intention, but you basically just rubbed the most painful element of my life in my face, whether it was intentional or not.

I do not have a single friend, and in my 26 years, the only people who ever communicated with me were those who needed something (I am very intelligent, which became known to most people throughout highschool and university. I knowingly let them take advantage of my ability to teach them just so that I could have some sort of social companionship).

I simply do not 'understand' how/where/what/when to meet people, and on the very rare occasion that someone talks to me, i'm even more clueless as to how I would pursue a relationship of any kind with that person. I believe this 'lack of understanding' is one of the more fundamental disabling symptoms of aspergers and many ASDs. Obviously the severity of ones condition will dictate their abilities to make friends, but I found your question, as inoculous as i'm sure you intented it to be very insensitive. I simply do not understand how to communicate with people, and for that reason I am very lonely all the time.

I'm glad fortune has smiled on you in this regard, but you've got to understand just because you got lucky (or are skilled enough to make social relationships), doesn't mean everyone is so lucky.

I am a kind, caring, centered person, yet I can find no one who wants to be my friend, i'm sure you can see why your post can be so hurtful?

I have a group of guys in my board game group I'd consider close acquaintances, but not really friends. We get together one night a month for gaming, but that's it. The other guys are either married and have families or live too far away to get together more often. Also, other than gaming, I don't share many common interests with them so getting together would be near pointless because unless we had a group big enough for gaming, there really wouldn't be anything to do.

I had no real friends until I joined the heavy metal subculture, and met people who were a lot like me.

I had a few but they weren't really friendships....I just struggled like mad to appear halfway normal and conform.

At school I'd go one of 2 ways with people: either not think of anything to say, which made me disconnected, or talk about something inappropriate like an esoteric piece of music, or my fascination with cats' vertical pupils....which freaked people out.

Also, other teen girls were so superficial, I would have had to drop about 30 IQ points to fit in with them. They talked about boys and alcohol and other shallow crap...and I was only allowed to use certain slang words, nothing with too many syllables. It was actually an openly acknowledged rule in the group I was trying to fit with that you only used certain words as others weren't cool...and me with words like eviscerate and vexatious...! I never want to be 11/12 again..

Just looking round and found this thread and an interesting topic. This would be a question that an NT would ask me as being an Aspie I am clueless on the subject of friendships.

I have spent the majority of my 30 years in this world friendless and have been through the cycle of rejection again and again. I would try to talk to people and get their number and then contact them, meet up and then arrange to meet up again and then the person would never get in touch again therefore the friendships faded. Story of my life. The one friend I had for over 2 years used and took advantage of me and I have recently cut contact with her.

During my school years I had groups of girls I hung round with who were my "friends" but I was a loner towards my final couple of years at high school. I have never had a best friend or a close friend in my life and mostly people I have met I would class as acquaintances. Having learned about my undiagnosed Aspergers in the last couple of years today I have no friends at all in real life or on the internet and despite joining a couple of clubs I feel like a social outcast I really do and do struggle to connect with people. My social skills are not very good and I have a very difficult time reading social cues that most people have a natural ability to do and understanding how to communicate and socialise with people is lost on me. I am sure many members can relate to what I am saying

[img][800:606]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_O7gSJb9D8LY/TTJfxb7b19I/AAAAAAAAC9E/6WrV0zYo6nk/s1600/picard-facepalm.jpg[/img]

I had so called friends as a kid but they never really did respect me. I think they kept me in their clique just so they'd have someone to hate on when I wasn't there. There's a Dane Cook skit, "The friend no one likes" and I think I was that friend.[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LhBh2dS6Iw[/youtube] I knew a girl who was the "Karen" but I was the "f*****g Brian's coming".

I never really had any real friends as a kid.