Greetings,interlocutors.
I'm the sleepiest sleepyhead in sleeptown,
17, female.I'm from Thailand, a country with two season which is basically just hot and hotter.
I like to drink black coffee (bitter like my soul pfftt) give me coffee or give me death.
My interest are those stuff around these subjects:
Coffee-tea-caffeine, A good strom, watercolor, pixel art, game development, art and aesthetics, military history, paranormal lore, astronomy, botany, scientists, knuckles, anatomy.
(I'm not claiming to be expert or good at those listed fields, they are just my interests)
I've spent years feeling like an alien on a wrong planet, I'm dealing with anxiety and maybe, asperger or autism symtoms.(my late grandma has autism)
The weird thing is,I happen to be crying all the time,it excessive,and it interfere with my everyday life. Of course my mother hate it, she got upset every time I cry. Maybe I'm an over-sensitive person but I don't really know.
So one day, tired of everyone thinking I'm a pathetic whimp. SoI decided to stop it. I stop showing unnecessary emotions, I distant myself from others, talk less,smile less.
The more you distant yourself, the less you get hurt, They said,right?
Believe me guys,it's good for a while...
But now it leave me with the weirdest personality ever,Imagine a girl with a stiff gesture, rarely smile, appeared to be capable and confident but when she get hurt or angry,this girl could do nothing but cry.(with that robotic-stiff face on) old habit dies hard anyway, funny.right? I think so too.
And that being said. I've come to realize that what I always told myself: I want to disappear. Probably is not true after all.
Maybe all I really want is to be found.
Oh man,I rambled for so long, if there's anyone actually read this whole thing, you,sir, are totally like, my hero.
Actually, because of said reasons, all dudes I've ever met scared of talking to me. I mean,I don't mind being friends with any opposite genders...In short,I kind of want to befriend with boys and stuff...
Uh,forget it. Actually, any genders fine with me.
Also,
I'm terrible at starting a conversation ( and English grammar ), so I'll just post this here.
Goodbye.