Aspergers and social phobia

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I have a sense of social phobia along with AS. I'm usually afraid to approach people and start a conversation, call someone, write them an email, join in a group, or go to a party uninvited. So, obviously, I'm afraid to do social things without some kind of invitation from other people.

I know, without a doubt, that I have social phobia, because I cannot be in a group without getting really really (and I mean really) nervous.

I have this, I can cope but it leaves me feeling very exhausted.

yup, same here. It has been known to cause IBD for me as well.

Actually for me its not so much a matter of getting nervous, it's more that I find it a very unpleasant situation, lots of people sitting around making superficial conversations that I can't relate to, leaving me isolated and not part of their group, always reinforcing that unwanted feeling.

9i personally believe most aspies have, to some extent, a social phobia

Whenever I come into contact with people something primitive seems to stir inside me. I get very tense and anxious. This is much worse when I withdraw from all social contact. It gets better if I desensitise myself, but the fear levels are still high and it is exhausting. Socialisng is more tiring than sustained physical exercise. Do NT's find this?
Or I find it too stimulating and I get over-excited. Either way I produce too much adrenalin.

No. If anything, I think most (or all?) NTs are kind of the reverse of that.

I know what you mean about it kind of getting worse if you have no social contact at all. I'm like that to an extent. Basically though I sometimes like social contact, but need a lot of time by myself. Heck, I'm holed up here even at work, and frequently need to just keep to myself (I don't even like being able to see other people or have them see me-that's draining for some reason too).

This idiot psychologist I went to thought I don't do (some unspecified activity with unspecified people) because I'm "depressed", which is completely bogus. Rather I don't because I don't fit in most places and would be either bored, or wouldn't know what to say, ore both, and because even if I find somewhere I fit in I still need to spend a LOT of time just by myself. (I actually go to an OCD group now, although honestly I use it mostly as social contact.)

Interesting, I read the definition of avoidant personality . It goes into trying to get a non approving parents attention.

You want thier approval but they treat you bad. Happened to me.

Maybe that explains some things.

I just looked up that "Avoidant Personality Disorder" you mentioned, and it looks like I might have parts of that. Not sure if it would be enough to be clinical.

I definitely come down on the "actual" side of the rejection/embarrassment thing. Plus it's just so draining...

My social expression seems to naturally cleave to extremes.

In public, I am very gregarious and sociable. I have no comprehension of social phobia, let alone an experience of it. It's not like the overwhelming majority of people are even classifiably sentient, so who cares what they "think"? (Emotionally speaking, I recognize the bulk of humanity as holders of interesting personal data, but not as persons per se, if that makes any sense.) Because of this lack of evaluation anxiety, my personality in a public venue damned near borders on that typically ascribed to a game show host.

However, when I get home and the front door shuts I expect to be left alone, and I tend to get really pissy if I'm not. My husband, my cat, and close personal friends are exceptions to this, but otherwise... no.

I was diagnosed with SA and dysthymia in 2001 and drugged into the ground since then. It was only this year, after seeing five psychologists and two psychiatrists, that someone suggested it could be Asperger's. There is a six month wait list for testing, so it will likely be awhile before I find out.

Well, I'm always hesitant about choosing and working in groups. My main problem is meeting people, for I usually get defensive, judgemental, and nervous when I'm around strangers. What I want is very difficult to achieve because of this.

My people anxiety is at an all time high at the moment!!

I think I was misdiagnosed with Social Anxiety when I talked to my therapist. I mean I'm going in for my third meeting ever on friday, so things can still change, but... In social situations I don't get anxious, there's no rapid heartbeat, no cold-sweats, nothing like that.

In one-on-one conversations I do great, unless I'm talking to a hyper-extrovert that NEVER stops talking. Gawd...

In group conversations, I usually sit back and watch\listen. That's the main reason I got an SA diagnosis, is we misinterpreted my silence in groups as anxiety. Upon reflection, it wasnt that at all, it was simply that they'd be talking about something, and they'd say something very intriguing to me. I would sit there and privately think about that one thing, and when I was done, I appeared to the group to be uninterested, and they had long moved on past what they were talking about that interested me. Ideally I would talk about the thing that interested me so much, but it usually takes me a second to gather my thoughts before I can confidently speak, so I don't stumble over my words or get the too-frequent "brain-farts".

It seems logical that the two go together. I had social phobia for the longest time, and was very afraid of everyone in high school. I am on a new medication now, though (Effexor XR), and it has been great. I feel as if I can lead a normal life. It does have side effects, but not nearly as many as other meds do.