THINGS NT'S DO THAT JUST DON'T MAKE SENSE!

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I am INTP/INTJ depending on the day. Also an Aspie. Wait does NT mean "normal types"

But yea...NT are scared of their own shadow and are all ego. Aspie see things for how they are & not how they could be. We accomplish this by accepting the shadow of our animus. NT's lie to themselves because they can't accept that this reality is a prison. Their faith is directed outwards primarily to distract themselves of the reality of death. Aspie faith is directed inwards. We are aware of death & embrace each other because we know we are scared and that it is OK by learning to carefully shoulder the pain. We take things one step at a time.

No, he isn't. But thanks for the link!

Fnord, there's a difference between being "blunt" and being a bully. All you are is a bully and if you think that's something to be proud of then that's up to you. The best way to treat a bully is to ignore them. All you're really doing is making Aspie's look bad. You didn't break me. I know who my real friends are - and a good number are Aspie's who I'd do anything for. You'll never be blessed to know what a friendship like that with an NT is like because you choose to run off a person before you even get the chance to really know them. You're so busy in trying to break the other person down just in order to build yourself up. How is that working for you out in the real world? The good thing about what happened here is that I still like Aspie's. You're going to have your few bad apples, just like with NT's, but inside most people are good. So I'll probably be back at some point - to try and make new friends again. I just need to go recharge my batteries for awhile with my real friends.

Moderators, you can close this thread, if you choose, as I will not be answering it anymore.

Am I the only person who is confused here?

I have been watching this thread for a couple of days now. From my perspective, the only thing that Fnord has posted (in this thread) are his personal observations (over the years) of NT behavior which does not make sense to him. Which is pretty much the topic of this thread.

I must be missing something. As for some reason, the OP considered the posts to be a personal attack.

I believe Fnord knows that they are generalizations--that they don't apply to every NT.

The OP thought that Fnord thought that they DO apply to every NT. This is why she took offense, I believe.

Afterwards, this turned into a typical argument amongst people who are seeking to "save face."

At the top of every posted list is the following disclaimer:

So, yes, these are generalized observations, and are thus both subjective and not directed at any one person.

Why anyone would think otherwise just doesn't make sense to me.

...

I understand that the OP is asking that this thread be locked. If that happens, I'll try to post the list in installments in another thread.

I don't know, that sounds like a pretty heavy generalisation.

The issue here is that Fnord, and others, are making some pretty offensive remarks about the behavior of NTs in general, when in a lot of cases they're simply not like this. Some of the traits he describes are in fact very sour and I (an NT) would certainly avoid people with them.

Last edited by tmewett on 02 Jul 2015, 9:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think once Spectrumites relate to NT's more, and NT's relate to Spectrumites more, that there will be much less misunderstanding between the two "camps."

Generalizations are borne out of sheer lack of knowledge (not willful ignorance, usually).

I'm a person who deals with NT's on a regular basis. I have varying success with them. There are some whom I would just about kill for; there are others whom I avoid like the Plague.

Naturally. I try to support Aspies as much as possible, as i understand some of their behavior. But if they turn their noses because they believe NTs are unsupportive and selfish by nature, it's bad for everyone.

I can't dispute that!

He does.

And in "a lot" of cases, they are exactly like this -- enough cases to justify making generalizations.

I've lived and worked with "NTs" my entire life, and in those 50+ years, I have often been baffled by many aspects of their behavior, especially when it come to socializing and the treatment of people who have difficulty socializing.

Remember, this thread is about "Things NT's do that don't make sense", and that includes bad behavior, as well. If someone is offended by seeing other people's bad behavior in a methodical list, then I have to remind myself of the advice that several mods have given to me; which is along the lines of "grow a thicker skin and just deal with it".

So, no double standards, okay?

I think getting people to accept double standards in your favor is an important social skill, and no doubt one neurotypicals are naturally much better at than us. They have every right to enjoy its advantages.

Hi White Galactic Wiz.

Here on the board today I'm allowing myself to give in to my Aspie urge to correct everyone when I believe their information is mistaken.

I have been told that generally NT's hate this, and generally Aspies don't understand why they'd prefer the self-superior illusion of being right to being teachable so that next time they can actually be right. I've been told this a lot, and told that it's the biggest reason nobody likes me: I can't keep my mouth shut when I have opportunity to correct someone when I think they're wrong. They say it's disrespectful. :sigh:

I did it with my NT mentor at work a couple times today, I hope I didn't her. She's patient, but very good at hiding her real feelings (another THING NT'S DO THAT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE).

Anyway in this thread we are using NT to mean "neurotypical" which means non-autistic, as in their brains are typically wired to do all the social stuff and teamwork stuff and sensory integration stuff that tend to come to Aspies and Autistics with great difficulty or not at all.

I think you're thinking of the Meyers-Briggs personality types? there are several threads on the board about those. So you're iNtuitive/Thinking and thinking we're talking iNtuitive/Thinking people. But lots of Aspies are iNtuitive/Thinking in one combination or another--usually INTJ or INTP. I'm not, I'm Sensing/Thinking, but my I (for introverted) and J (for Judging) are stronger than my Sensing/Thinking, and sometimes I border on INTJ or ISFJ depending on the situation.

I want to apologize in general for the link in my earlier post, I did it at the gym so I couldn't fix the code tags. Too difficult to select where I put my entry point, and even if I get it into the right place the touchscreen keyboard often covers up the textbox so whatever I type in is just a different error instead of what I wanted to do. *insert frustration emoticon here*

Fnord I apologize for misrepresenting you there and making assumptions. I do detect Staff Personality Disorder and there are a lot of points on your lists that fit the symptoms, don't you think?

kraftiekortie wrote:

I sure wish that were my experience. Instead I'm getting the more Aspie Me relates to certain NT's who know I'm an Aspie, the more I get told I should have learned better by now, I should be making more progress, I should understand/accept stuff that seems mean or condescending or vague or confusing, I shouldn't need another explanation to avoid misunderstanding, or even that I shouldn't ask questions when I misunderstand. Seems asking questions when you misunderstand or miscommunicate is also rude and disrespectful and just makes the problem worse.

I'm supposed to just say I'm sorry, often without even knowing what I'm apologizing for, and not say anything else. Not explain what I meant to do, not ask the NT what s/he means by it, not talk it out until the air is clear. Just say I'm sorry and forget about it and pretend it never happened.

Trouble is I can't forget--I'm trying to make a rule in my head that will keep the same misunderstanding from happening again. But I can't, because the NT won't explain why what I did was wrong and tell me what I should have done or said instead. So I make up a rule that misses the mark, stop doing a thing that probably would be okay in slightly different circumstances, and the thing that really was wrong that I shouldn't do again--I do it again because I don't realize that that was what I did that was somehow bad.

Sheesh, that rambled all over the place.

Does any of it make any sense at all?

Why should you apologize? You haven't done anything wrong in these instances.

Unless you revealed to someone that that someone will get a surprise birthday party--or something of that ilk.

I think NT's who know you are Aspie could offer general suggestions about how to navigate NT subtleties. Maybe I could help you better if you remember precisely what was said in those conversations. I know you can't convey the facial expressions, etc.

I only wish I could see these interactions.

I make mistakes all the time; usually, I only know that I made them after some time and some reflection.

Only apologize if you've truly harmed somebody.

Apparently I have, as the person I was trying to communicate/connect with is upset and when I try to clarify s/he gets more upset.



teehee no, I know this is a no-no, though there are many times I've been told that I've disclosed to much or said things that didn't need to be said.



I like it when they do that. Sometimes it works, sometimes it's too general and I don't even see how it applies to the situation at hand much less to other similar situations.[/quote]



Oddly enough, NT hubby says pretty much the same thing every time I ask him to help me understand something confusing that happened at work. He says he'd have to see it happening to help me understand why it happened.
Or he tells me something that wouldn't have fit anyway because he doesn't really know the people involved and makes assumptions about my relationships with them.

me too

Yeah, NT hubby rarely allows me time to reflect. He lets me know at the soonest opportunity that I screwed up.



How do you define harm, though? Isn't structural damage to a close relationship harm? I apologize a hundred times more than I need to--often for the wrong things.

I've been under a rock my whole life and just don't know how to relate to people who hide stuff and change their minds and fool people and trick people as naturally as breathing and know instantly if I'm shading the truth.

If you make a social faux pas, you're not necessarily harming anybody.

Even NT's make social faux pas. I would say, most of the time, it's overlooked...and maybe not even noticed.

One can "harm" somebody with words. One way is correcting somebody when there's other people around. People feel embarrassed when one does that. They feel ashamed of their lack of knowledge. Yes, it's an "ego" thing--but that's the way people are.

You haven't told me why the person you were speaking with was actually upset. I'm thinking--perhaps you were too blunt? I don't think it's lying when one is diplomatic instead of blunt, by the way. There are many ways to say the same thing.

I wish your husband would allow you time to reflect.

I don't think people "hide stuff" for the purpose of "hiding stuff." Sometimes, revealing something might cause unintended harm. You should read about "Pandora's Box." I don't find it deceitful, necessarily.

Sometimes, there is one way to express a truth. Other times, there could be many--all of which are true.