I have absolutely no friends

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No, I do not consider those on the spectrum as being mentally ill. It's a neurological difference, most likely genetic in origin. That's like saying people with learning disabilities, such as dyslexia, are mentally ill.

I consider mental illnesses to be psychological disorders. Many of them are caused by nurture, not nature. I wouldn't rule out being friends with someone that was mentally ill, but it would depend on the illness and the severity. I wouldn't want to be friends with a narcissist, for instance.

Or somebody who would sell your stuff.

Or somebody who is constantly ringing your bell, asking for favors.

That's true. There are people that are unhealthy to be friends with. I suppose that's what I meant by mentally ill. Haha, I guess I view those sorts of people as having mental illness.

Basically, you have to find people who won'tsponge off you.

Who are not constantly in an emotional crisis, and, especially:

Those who defend their "right" to have emotional crises, and believe in experience the crisis, rather than trying to seek out ways to lessen the impact of said crises, or trying to prevent them in the first place.

That's seriously at least half the population. I don't know how many times I've seen someone march full on into a mistake, even being warned, and then expect other people to clean up the emotional mess that results. "Are you sure you should buy a new video game system right now, weren't you just saying you were having rent problems?" "Mind your own business, I want it so I'm getting it." Then inevitably two weeks later..."I'm short on rent, can I borrow XX amount of money?" "Sorry, with the financial decisions you make I don't trust that you'll pay me back." "Oh, and here I thought we were friends"...(fill in space with paragraphs of whining, excuses, and accusations).

Yes, I feel exactly the same way. I don't understand it when people don't want to help themselves, or try to solve their problems, and then complain about the messes they've gotten themselves into.

I am not perfect by any means, but at least I always try. I always have a plan; I'm always analyzing my situation in order to make things better. I may fail, and I often do, but I keep trying.

Never be friends with encyclopedia salesmen.

But think of all the knowledge they must possess! Oh wait, they're salesmen, so they're NT, which means they probably never even cracked open one of the encyclopedias.

Cracking them open might be an act of financial irresponsibility, too.

I used to really like reading encyclopedias
Now they have become irrelevant. But I still miss them. Something comforting about reading with actual books.

It's that satisfaction of knowing a tree was murdered for the pleasure.

I always make those "ugly" calculations:
Choice 1 : I spend 1 hour with some other people, i will learn one little interesting thing like what is the weather forecasting for tomorrow
Choice 2 : I spend 1 hour alone, i will read some pages of a book and learn about my favourite subjects or learn a piece of music
... i compare and only want to stay home and do my stuff. If i "have to" stay among people, i feel like losing my time and i'm getting horribly bored.

However, when i can't avoid the "obligation" of joining a group, I have some roundabout means of linking my points of interests to people:
- I like to learn languages => I try to speak of anything with someone speaking a foreign language, and i'm happy to practice
- I like sociology => I listen and look what happens and compare it with what i learned in books, sometimes interesting
- I play music => If I had close friends, I could propose to play a piece, and I would practice at the same time (but i don't have friends and not really looking for it)

Not all point of interests are linkable to socialization, but you can always think of joining a group who share your point of interest?

You just can't beat the feeling of a book. I entered a rage when I learned my little brother would be getting eBooks for his maths class instead of real ones. How am I supposed to tutor someone without a big beautiful maths book to hold in my hands?

And this is coming from a person who spends most of their time on the computer. You cannot replace books. It can't be done. Let any man who says otherwise be struck down.

But what if you don't like the texture of the pages of some books?

My father bought me the Columbia Encyclopedia when I was 8 years old.

It was, probably, one of the most precious gifts I ever received--right up there with the 3-speed bike I got when I was 9.

I read the first and last pages of this, so i know i missed some stuff in the middle. Yigeren, I can identify. i used to tell my hubby i "am not friendship material." He would wonder why i have no friends and encourage me to go out and do stuff. I tried, and for various reasons got shut out of multiple groups of friends. Mostly the reasons had to do with not being able to do the NT drama. Or calling people out on stupid stuff like lying about me behind my back. In the last case, i thought i had finally found a group of friends who accepted me...then after one of them lied about me behind my back, my hubby said she was unwelcome at our house. Any activities I wished to plan were then boycotted by the rest of the group, because I wasn't "being forgiving" enough of the person who lied about me. It really didn't seem worth trying to get back into the good graces of the group, if they were going to hang me out to dry--i hadn't done anything wrong--and stick up for the lying two-faced person.

I have a few friends here and there; the ones i have are very good loyal friends. But mostly i only see them every few months or a few times a year. I joined this forum partly for information; partly because i couldn't quite believe there might be multiple other people out there i could be true friends with--but wanting to see for myself if it is possible.

I tend to be one of those folks most people handle a little better in small doses. I have intense opinions on deep topics and i don't do stupid drama or meanness. I try to be kind and tactful but in spite of my best efforts i have been told i am very blunt at times. So i guess it boils down to "not friendship material." But you sound like someone i could enjoy talking with.