I am not meant to have friends.

Post Reply New Topic

Hi,
I am not a video game person but I am more of fan of animated things. I am also into..
1. Writing
2. Vlogging/Blogging
3. Stargazing
4. I am obsessed with TED talks

Furthermore just because a lot of precious lil "people" do something, does not make it morally justified.

It gets on my nerves how precious lil "most people" refer to adult males as "guys" and adult females as "girls". It is not "guys and girls". It is boy/girl. Man,woman. Lady/gentleman.

But I do not feel morally entitled to correct sexist precious lil "people" that say that. And besides if I corrected them, they might do it more often to get on my nerves, they might ignore me, or they might do it less often.

So the best case scenario is, like whooptie do. But based on their attitude, it appears hard to imagine that they would be receptive.



Some precious lil "people" are totally homophobic. Some precious lil "people" are only slightly homophobic.



The other thing, dichotomous thinking.

"You don't care about anyone except yourself!" A homophobic precious lil "person" had the nerve to tell me.

Black and white thinking. Not spectrum. Certainly not rainbow

The speaker made it sound like I was Public Enemy Number One. But he did not know I was autistic. He is not telepathic. He did not watch me do all that community service.

Nobody is completely selfish or selfless. And you can't measure selfishness.

So.... He, as well as numerous other precious lil "people" were totally biased against me

"Holier than thou" attitude

I wonder if I should request this thread to be closed. The title doesn't necessarily reflect how I feel anymore and someone whose attacked me before (Not Summer and short) has posted in here.

Marknis: Closing the thread is up to you. But you might want to contact the individual directly before you do, chances are it is a miscommunication.
I have found that making friends to be a challenge. I never had a large amount of friends and when I did I had really no more than five decent friends, but mostly stuck to about two. Today I hardly have any. It really is not for a lack of going out, I just do not connect with most people, even on a site like this one.
I believe that friendships have to have a utility, in other words they have to serve a purpose. Many think that if two people have the same interests or are involved in the same activities that they would be friends and my experience that is really never the case. Both people have to see a reason to connect above and beyond just common interests.
For me I always knew people really didn't 'get' me. Often I was weird. One Facebook 'friend' asked people to put their name down and he would give them his first impressions of them. For me it was, 'quiet and intense'. As a kid I always tried to engage others, but I was ignored. Even worst, I knew I was ignored and this hurt me. I would get anxious and upset when other kids would be acknowledge me.
Like Twilight_Summer the friends that I do get often fizzle out, my best friend of 11 years had a falling out, due somewhat to what I did. Others were just jerks to me, like one, after I told him that my father was dying of cancer, he quipped back: "well you didn't like him anyway".
I disagree that you should submit that you 'were just not meant to have them'

Marknis

You wrote that "the title does not necessarily reflect the way I feel", but you wrote the title last month. That doesn't sound like a long time.

What changed since then?

Because the title reflects how I felt before the original post as well as now.

It's like - I am not "meant" be a pilot in the Air Force because I do not fulfill the height requirements. And I am not "meant" to be a model because I look like what the media portrays ad attractive. And I am not "meant" to do hard labor, because I weigh 110 pound. And I am not "meant" to be a mathematician because I am not smart enough....

Sure, you could correctly point out that the military's procedures change with time. And the military gives waivers. And not all models look the same. And there is no perfect method to measure intelligence. Yeah I get it

But seriously I identify with the title. Your choice of words was accurate and insightful.

And I ain't got no precious lil "friends" either.

And maybe I wish I had friends

But life contains many variables. And maybe life can figuratively and literally go on, with or without friends

I feel more like I should have friends but my father and the culture I live in ruined that.

Also, the poster who claimed to want to be my friend actually attacked me in another part of this forum and is trying to pretend that didn't happen.

Marknis

"should", "can", and "will" are all different things.

It is not necessarily your fault that you ain't got no friends.

Maybe you are just so different from everyone else, that they do not like you

Best because they don't like you, does not necessarily mean that you are bad or wrong.

It is more like they are in the majority and you are a minority.

So what, I have no friends either......

Marknis

If the bullying is still occurring, then maybe it is a good idea to remove yourself from the situation or report the bullies to authorities

If the bullying is over, then maybe you could benefit from counseling

Some counselors are good, in some ways, at some times

Some counselors just make good use of the freedom of speech and do not appear to know what they are doing.

Some counselors are way too vague. One asked me "do you deserve to be treated badly?"

It's like what is the definition of "treated badly?". And a counselor told me "you deserve respect". You can't measure respect. Sheesh. Another counselor told me " I am sorry you were bullied". It's like wtf She did not bully me, nor did she extort or bribe anyone to bully me. And saying "I'm sorry, sounds like she was making it more significant than it was......

But some counselors are better



However in grammar and junior high school, some precious lil "people" bullied me.

Sometimes I wonder if all that bullying made me more introverted. Every day I still think about it. And all that bullying could have indirectly caused me to act in a way that the neuropsychiatrist mistook as autistic .

Misdiagnoses

Anyways whatever

Because making and maintaining friendships is like walking on eggshells. if you say and do things the other party deems as correct and good, they are your friend. The second you say or do something they do not accept or understand (even if you are morally justified or factually accurate) they act like you invented the world's worst felony, and that they were perfect little angels

Cost benefit analysis

Oftentimes I feel pretty left out and want precious lil "friends"

But it's like both parties have to write a written contract about what each part will and will not do. And otherwise, then what.



Precious lil "friends" act like they are the greatest thing since sliced bread, and I ought to be grateful that they graced me with their presence

Emotional rollercoaster

Constant

My therapist helped me come up with a new life outlook. I realize that wishing and hoping endlessly for a girlfriend as well as friends has been the same as constantly praying to God for the same thing. I used to do the latter but it didn't change anything.

way too many precious lil "people" mishear and misinterpret things I said and did

They act like when they do the slightest thing (stop the car so I can cross the street), they give me this indulgent smile, as if they just successfully dragged my worthless corpse out of a burning building

They make promises, that I depended on. Then they break the promises

They act like they have never done anything wrong before in their lives

The whole attitude

Then f**k those precious 'lil' people; they don't deserve to be mentioned again.

if they do not deserve to be mentioned again, then who does deserve to be mentioned?

there is nothing in the world that you "deserve". and if there were, it wouldn't matter, b/c you wouldn't get it.

where else am i supposed to unload?

ain't got no job or precious lil "friends".

Nothing in this world I deserve? I'm sorry that life is terrible for you, but I do not know how to help you, and I am not responsible for your life.

by "you", i meant the collective "you". as in "everyone". not as in Zach.

by that statement, i mean that i did not "deserve" the $50 a stranger gave me half a year ago. nor did i "deserve" to get physically assaulted. there is nothing, good or bad, that i, or anyone else (including Zach, you), deserve. absolutely, objectively, correctly.

there are only things you think you deserve.

and you do have legal rights, but you do not have the right to get everything you want.

"life" is not "terrible" for me. at least not right now. maybe tomorrow, "life" will be terrible for me. but i am not psychic, so i do not know, until afterward.

you do not control my quality of life. there is little you could do to help or hurt me. unless you do something really extreme, that takes a lot of creativity, effort, and outcome.

but i did not say, "Zach, please help me".

yes, you are not responsible for my life.

but on Wrong Planet, everyone can post what they want. not just "Then f**k those precious 'lil' people; they don't deserve to be mentioned again."

if you do not want to read what i wrote, then do not read it.

if yo do not want to answer, then do not answer.

not every answer has to be in the form of "help".

everything helps, has no effect, or hurts. there is no method to guarantee that everything you do will fall into the first two categories.

not all effects are immediate, direct, physical , or obvious.