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drawinglobster
Butterfly
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Joined: 20 Dec 2017
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 12
Location: Yorkshire

01 Jan 2018, 1:34 pm

I have a friend in another country, but haven't met up with him for over a year -- the logistics are difficult.

I have another friend elsewhere in this country, but again the logistics are difficult. We haven’t met for several years, and now only exchange birthday and Christmas cards.



BadgerKomodo
Emu Egg
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Joined: 7 Feb 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 8

02 Jan 2018, 10:28 am

Not really. I get on well with people and try to make friends, and I think people probably do view me in a positive light nevertheless.

I really, really want to make friends, with whom I can go out and do stuff like drinking, clubbing, and having fun (doing things neurotypical people my age do).

I’d really like neurotypical friends. I do have Asperger’s friends. I haven’t had friends since I was 11 (in 2010), when I moved to Edinburgh.



randomeu
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Joined: 30 May 2016
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 628
Location: In the wonderful world of i dont know

02 Jan 2018, 1:31 pm

nope


_________________
AQ score: 45

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 174 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 30 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


Officially diagnosed 30th june 2017


Ashariel
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Joined: 16 Jun 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,779
Location: US

02 Jan 2018, 2:17 pm

No close friends, and I prefer it that way.

But I would like to have better people skills in general, so that my interactions are more in the 'neutral to positive' range, and less in the 'negative' range.

Something to work on in 2018!



anti_gone
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 18 Jul 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 237

03 Jan 2018, 4:55 pm

Some very close friends, some normal friends, some acquaintances. Some of them moved away, but I still get to meet some of my friends once a week.



LittleCoyoteKat
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Joined: 28 Dec 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 520
Location: California

04 Jan 2018, 7:23 pm

I have two (not counting my Husband). They're both incredibly busy with their lives these days so we don't interact much anymore and I rarely see either of them.

I met them over 11 years ago. I met one through an old online friend that lived further down the state, and the other through an ad looking for someone to join a group with similar interests. I call them my best friends, but they're my only friends these days. The other friends I had turned out... BIG SURPRISE... to be using me. Pretty standard. Even one person who I thought was my best friend for 15 years turned out to be lying and stealing from me the whole time. Broke my heart. It was like getting a divorce. We'd been through LIFE together, you know? We were attached at the hip, she helped me through so much in my life and I'd helped her. Idk, after that I stopped trying to make friends.


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"So much of what she'd thought was truth before was merely tricks. No more than clever ways of speaking to the world. They were a bargaining. A plea. A call. A cry."


I am a Bookwyrm.


komamanga
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Joined: 18 Jan 2017
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,343
Location: CzechRep.

05 Jan 2018, 1:51 am

My friends include:
- The girl I met when I was six because we lived in the same apartment. She is a psycholog now and has always been a quirky but extroverted person.
- The girl I met in elementary school. She has similar issues like mine (ocd, add, social problems, anger problems) but she is not autistic.
- The guy I met in elementary school. He is weird.
- The girl I met in highschool. She is my closest friend. And she is open to all my idiosyncrasies and very supportive.
- My adopted cousin and my sister. They have always been there for me.
- My boyfriend. We're from the same planet.

Apart from my boyfriend I only see them once a year if not less. I don't need somebody to be constantly with me but I'm happy to have so much support.



mjames72
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

Joined: 4 Jan 2018
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 24
Location: northern California, USA

07 Jan 2018, 3:22 pm

I feel the exact same way. I'm always alone and it seems like no one ever wants to interact with me and get to know me. Whenever I try to make friends I always fail and get made fun of for being socially awkward.



__DrunkHead59__
Butterfly
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Joined: 11 Jan 2018
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 10
Location: United States

12 Jan 2018, 1:09 pm

Enceladus wrote:
I suggest going to Aspie meetups, not just one but as many as you can find and keep going even if you don't feel like it works out at first. Try meeting and talking with as many as possible, sooner or later you'll meet people who share similar ideas and interests with you. This is what I did :) And be patient, don't expect everyone to become you're friend all at once, don't give up, give it time and it will happen :)


How absurd. Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for anyone else. You can't assume that every single Aspie out there is identical. Everyone is different and not every person is going to have the same things in common, regardless of whether they are on the spectrum or not. Why the need to go to an Aspie meet-up just to find friends who will "accept" you for who you are? Do you think that every single non-aspie is going to turn their back on you? That is absolutely not true. It's about finding the right people in life who will treat you with respect and isn't such a self-centered prick.

Find something you're passionate about and see if you can join a group that caters for people with that particular interest. Meet each individual one by one; dig through the cancer and find the ones who are worthy of your friendship. If all goes to custard, ditch the group and find a new one. If you find yourself that desperate for friendship and go for the unpleasant ones, such as the ones who backstab, all for the sake of having a friend, don't. People like them will drag you down to their level and will bring out the worst in you. Seek out the ones who possess the true qualities of a friend. May not happen right away but it will happen in time. Be patient and do not give up.

These are just my two cents on this. If you feel that joining an Aspie meet-up is the ideal thing for you, by all means go ahead, but don't do so because you feel obligated to or someone else tells you to do so. That is a completely different story, my friend.

If you're struggling with initiating friendships with people, then PM me. I'll do my best to work something out. In the meantime, don't stress too much about this. It's not the end of the world.