I can't keep female neurotypical friends

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I disagree.

The link between social media and narcissism is well established and many women use social media for self promotion.

You can search Google Scholar or any other academic search engine and find that out for yourself. I think the idea that women use social media more than men for self promoting purposes (and inevitably experience narcissism as a result) is also a solid one, though you won't find article titles stating that in academic literature, for obvious reasons (it could be interpreted as discriminatory as some, even if such a notion has a scientific basis).

https://scholar.google.co.uk/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=narcissism+in+women+social+media&btnG=



I disagree, as per the above comment.



I interpreted his comments as having acknowledged the subset of women, even if he didn't word things particularly well.



Ah, the old accusation of mansplaining again. How quaint.

Last edited by blitzkrieg on 06 Mar 2024, 10:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

I would add to my previous comment, that narcissism cannot be separated from social media use in many cases and forms the culture that we live in.

Cyberdad, in my opinion, also had social media use in mind, based on his previous comments.

If people don’t want to be accused of mansplaining, they should avoid engaging in the behavior.

It seems like a waste of time to rehash an argument covering sexist posts that have already been addressed and points that have already been covered. People might want to read or reread the thread to see various instances of sexism in context.

So are you saying that more young women than men are narcissistic? The “evidence” here is extremely flimsy, especially considering the fact that many men use social media for similar reasons as well, not that most people, young or otherwise, engage in self-promotion. Something to keep in mind: it’s not uncommon for people to try to support their sexism and other forms of prejudice with so-called evidence.

I think that attractive women AND attractive men (and successful folk, either men or women) are more narcissistic in general.

It has nothing to do with sexism, on my behalf, in my mind.

I would also think that some genuine sexist culture (the objectification of women) contributes to giving attractive women more opportunities to develop narcissistic tendencies, given the culture of the western world.

If people don’t want to appear sexist, they might want to consider referring to people in general rather than gendered terms.

However, there were more problems in this thread than those specific comments related to narcissism. Sexism here is not an anomaly but part of a broader, ongoing pattern of behavior.

More mansplaining.

Actually, sexist culture often does the opposite. Being harassed does not help a woman’s self-esteem. The fact that someone views you as an object and wants to use you for sex is NOT flattering.

When I mentioned the objectification of women, I didn't mean specific incidences of harassment, I meant the general idea that some people (mostly men) have, as part of what can be described as sexism. The unspoken mindset of objectification from men, which some women capitalise on in terms of money on social media, think OnlyFans etc.

I don't understand how what I said is mansplaining.

Perhaps you could elaborate?

Mansplaining: “generalised sexist nonsense explaining what women do or feel”

Once again, people who engage in those activities aren’t necessarily narcissists. Sometimes they have low self-esteem which pushes them to seek validation from others. Or maybe they simply want to earn a living. There’s nothing wrong with that. People can earn money however they want to as long as it’s legal.

We need to stop judging a book by its cover. The reality is that we don’t these people.

Most of the "beautiful women" on social media like YouTube or Insta are working hard for their money by showing interior design, vegan cooking, or even giving tutorials on skincare or child raising. Being beautiful doesn’t mean they are narcissistic, but that’s how they are often judged, and they have to deal with that toxic s**t on a regular basis.

We can talk about people being narcissistic, but it’s sexist when the focus is on women as it is here.

My comment began with "I think" and was on topic and related to my previous posts. It wasn't an attempt to be sexist, or to explain what women do or feel.



Sure, there are many reasons aside for narcissism, as to what motivates women (or men) to use social media, but my comments were related to cyberdad's comment and I was trying to clarify what I thought following on from that. I wasn't trying to capture the entire subject.



I personally wouldn't mind if a woman, or women, were talking about men who are narcissistic. You yourself often post about your terrible ex and despite him being a man, I don't take that personally as he is nothing to do with me.

Similarly, a vague allusion to attractive women in general, isn't aimed at you personally, either, so I am not sure why it upsets you so?

It’s a good idea to avoid stating what you think if it’s based on a sexist assumption although it is true that people aren’t always aware that their views are sexist.

I have a problem with sexism and other forms of bigotry. Until your last post, I’ve not taken anything personally in this thread. I would respond similarly if the issue concerned racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. as I’ve done in the past. Would you say that I was taking things personally if I were male? This is just another instance of sexism.

Talking about my ex or other abusive situations I’ve experienced is a very strange comparison to make to the current discussion. My problem is with abusers of any gender, not with men I am judging from a distance but don’t know. For future reference, don’t allude to the man who raped me on a regular basis unless I bring him up myself, especially don’t mention him with the goal of proving a point. It’s not cool.

Once again, the narcissistic comment wasn’t the only issue in this thread. For example, a post said that I thought sexist posts were sexist because I had an “unforgiving attitude towards men” even though similar claims were not addressed to male members who had the same viewpoints that I did.

Another member told me what “actually” motivates women even though I’m a woman.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 06 Mar 2024, 1:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I am not sure how you arrived at the conclusion that what I said was a sexist assumption?



Personally, I think some people see sexism where there is none, or any of the other isms.



You saying I am, or was, "talking about my (your) ex" seems like an exaggeration. I made a small reference to him to highlight how you seem to take any mention of women, by a man, that is critical in any way and in general to be a personal insult of some sort. I was providing an example of how I wouldn't take something personally when reading something from someone else, merely because they share the same gender as I.



You are the major contributor to this thread, and that is why I didn't say it to anyone else. There was no other reason or deeper meaning than that.



I can understand how that might annoy you a little bit, but I don't think he meant any harm by that.

Don’t even reference him to prove a point. It’s not cool, and it’s a bit triggering. Once again, I’ve not taken anything personally in this thread apart from the stuff you brought up to make it personal. My ex and sexist generalizations about attractive young women are two very different things. You are employing the logical fallacy called false equivalency.

If I were a man, I doubt you’d say that I was taking things personally. Once again, sexism appears to be at work here.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 06 Mar 2024, 3:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Alright, TP.

I shall cease to continue posting in this thread. I know where I am not welcome.

Let's re-frame in this in a different way so I don't continue to be labelled as sexist which is completely bizarre.
1. I have experience with dating. My experience as a 16-35yr old represents 19 years as a virgin who did not engage in sex during that time looking for long term partner (not sex, I was never interested in sex)
2. My experience during those 19 years reflects what many young men (and there are a lot) are experiencing right now.
3. As an older male I feel imparting my experience might help other younger males who are currently in my position. As far as I can see on WP I am one of the few males who choose to do this.
4. Every single female I eventually made friends with, I did with the intention to get to know them, that's all. (I was not thinking "sex sex sex" in my head) In my experience the vast majority of single females would completely ignore me or be rude (despite being good looking, having a job and with above average communication skills).

So ok the last point 4 is relevant as its my experience. So when I say "facts" I am not projecting, it is my lived experience. As it so happens many hundreds of young men on WP have had similar experiences where they are deliberately ignored as if they don't exist by females.

I find it strange that those calling my sexist have not actually lived as young males but think their advice > mine and by labelling me are basically trying to silence me.