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Alternative
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Joined: 29 Jun 2006
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29 Jul 2006, 8:45 am

I have only 1 close friend who accepts who I am.



Catster
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Joined: 31 Jan 2006
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Location: Melbourne, vic, australia

31 Jul 2006, 7:11 am

I have three friends but never had many



fieryjack
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Joined: 12 Aug 2006
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13 Aug 2006, 7:46 pm

I have no friends, at least none in real life. Such friends that I've ever had have always grown tired of me and drifted away.

I get lonely at times, but more importantly, my friendlessness causes me to loathe myself for being a "loser", even though I know this to be entirely irrational. If it was merely a matter of loneliness I could deal with being alone. It's the strange sense of humiliation that's the thing...



AaronAgassi
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Joined: 16 Jun 2006
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14 Aug 2006, 12:19 am

The stakes could not be higher.


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TechnoMonk
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Joined: 12 Aug 2006
Age: 44
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Posts: 1,312
Location: Stoke, uk

14 Aug 2006, 2:01 am

I've spent 5 years in the forces, and had a couple of jobs that have lasted for about 2 years each. After every move, from job to job, or from Navy base to ship etc, I just seem to lose contact. The best thing is, the people that have known me have made attempts to keep into contact, but I never seem to ever reply, so I suppose I've lost them all now.

I do have a few online friends too, people that seem genuinely happy to see me, but if I change my situation, I just don't seem to make any effort to stay in contact. So are they friends? It doesn't matter anyway really, I always feel alone, even when I'm around people, I just don't seem to be a people person.

I've always been that way, even when I was a child. I'd always tell my mother to tell my friends that I wasn't in, by the time I was 14 I'd seperated myself from everyone of my age group, at least out of school anyway.


I think that my attitude to making friends has always been that if someone likes me then they like me, if they don't like me then I don't care. Some people dislike my aloofness at first, but always seem to come around to liking me once they get to know me. It's just the way it seems to go with me.

It was like when I joined the royal navy, my class in basic training seemed to hate me for ages. By the time it got to the end, I had one guy that said he'd miss me most of all the people in our class, I got 2 awards for various things, and everyone seemed to have warmed to me. It's weird, but the whole thing was incomprehensible to me, because I had no idea where the dislike of me came from, and I have equally no idea why they all seemed to like me at the end. People are weird :/



Last edited by TechnoMonk on 14 Aug 2006, 2:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

AaronAgassi
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Joined: 16 Jun 2006
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Posts: 397

14 Aug 2006, 2:05 am

Why?



dystopia-x
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Joined: 19 Jul 2006
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14 Aug 2006, 4:56 am

i have lost some i have those who are loyal


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Hovis
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Joined: 9 Jul 2006
Age: 50
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Posts: 936
Location: Lincolnshire, England

16 Aug 2006, 10:30 am

I don't have any friends. I haven't had any at all since I was at school (I'm 32 now). And the one friend I thought I had in school I'm realizing more and more wasn't much of a friend, because she would try and ridicule me and put me down at every opportunity, and if we had fallen out, she'd go along with the other people who used to bully me.

I don't really miss not having any friends. They seem to be awfully high maintenance, having to do such and such to try and 'keep in' with them and keeping them liking you, and being scared to say what you really think in case they don't approve of it. And I don't really feel the *lack* of friends in any way at all. It's like I have my own perfect, complete little world inside my head that doesn't require the presence of anyone else. I can become very attached to characters on TV, so maybe they've been enough to substitute for friends in my mind.



John63
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Joined: 11 Aug 2006
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Posts: 5

17 Aug 2006, 12:51 am

I'm 43, married with children, and have no friends whatsoever. Haven't had a friend in nearly 15 years. My wife hates it. She's pretty social and feels like we have no friends as a couple because of me. I don't even know how to make friends anymore. It seemed easier when I was younger. I've tried asking a couple of people at work if they wanted to hang out but they politely declined. Can't say I blame them. I don't smile, probably even look angry at times even when I'm not. I don't engage in chit-chat with anyone. I get invited to lunch sometimes but I always decline. I avoid all company social events. I can't say I'm OK with it all. It has definitely had some very negative consequences in my life -- passed over for promotion, wife cheated on me, 2 divorces, difficuly getting along with certain coworkers, and the list goes on.



AaronAgassi
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17 Aug 2006, 5:13 am

John63, perhaps this might be of interest to you: http://www.wrongplanet.net/asperger.htm ... ic&t=15518


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Felching
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Joined: 15 Aug 2006
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Posts: 10

17 Aug 2006, 2:30 pm

I used to have a close friend, but then he stopped responding to me because back then I was an egocentric brat(I still am to some extent).



bchris02
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Joined: 16 Aug 2006
Age: 39
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17 Aug 2006, 6:23 pm

I am in college now, and I haven't had any close friends since I was in early middle school when I moved to a new area. Since then, I've had some friends off and on but they usually turn against me and become terrible enemies within a couple of months of becomming friends with them. Its happened so many times I feel like its inevitable for all friendships to end that way.

I've tried almost everything. I thought it would get better in college where I would meet more people with my intrests, but it has not. I think people get annoyed and eventually turned off by the abnormality in my facial expressions. They also don't like that I talk about complicated topics and am more indulged in my hobbies, such as computers, than the average person my age. Friends in various group situations througout my teenage years have taken me aside and told me basically to keep my mouth shut and that nobody cares about anything I have to say. Not drinking/smoking has a big deal to do with it also.

I see everybody else hanging and having fun with their friends and it makes me jealous because I do everything alone. I do have friends online where I've met people with similar intrests as me. I would prefer friends in real life though, but that is a far fetched dream for me.



AaronAgassi
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Joined: 16 Jun 2006
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17 Aug 2006, 9:22 pm

Have you ever considered actively studying your fellow human beings, in order to prompt recovery of your own repressed instincts? Better motility might even help more natural facial expression. And as the saying goes, do unto others. Have you ever simply taken any interest in the concerns of others, as you would wish they'd share your interests? And third entities, hobbies and other topics of conversation, are not the deepest connection for people to truly relate to one another or care.


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bchris02
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Joined: 16 Aug 2006
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17 Aug 2006, 9:55 pm

I've done a lot better at taking interests in other people and their concerns in recent years. Most of my friends have not shared my intrests, since there are few who do. I make an effort to be interested in their interests and concerns so a relationship can form. I don't really talk a lot about my interests unless its to somebody who is interested in that also. Having decent conversation isn't a problem for me anymore, making a lasting friendship is. People who I may get along with in class or an activity have no desire to even be around me outside of that activity.



AaronAgassi
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Joined: 16 Jun 2006
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17 Aug 2006, 10:48 pm

Witless fuuckers, self-appointed social gate keepers, desiccating waste of time crucial only for extended networking.



Overcast
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Joined: 28 Jul 2006
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Posts: 15

20 Aug 2006, 4:08 pm

I'm 37, and haven't had any friends in the last 10 years. People in general don't interest me much, and I'm just too boring and self centered for others to be interested in me, it seems. I'd rather have a dog anyway :)