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namaste
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09 Apr 2012, 6:46 am

Well i get this comment daily...its weird and hurtful
My colleagues at workplace are saying this every alternate day it makes me uncomfortable.

I remember when i was in school i received certificates for good behaviour because i was so very quite

Is it due to Asperger i thought its because of childhood abuse i encountered??


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AussieMatty
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09 Apr 2012, 7:35 am

Its quite opposite to me apparently.

I ask my friend or friends why they are quiet all the time while me being with them. Because the silences are so longer than usual in between or whatever conversations.

Also other thing that is, saying are you okay is another thing for me to ask him or her because the facial expressions, their mood or other form of body language annoys me!



NullCoding
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09 Apr 2012, 10:10 am

Since elementary school, my report cards always included the comment "Jimmy doesn't participate in class enough / at all." Usually, if I had something to say (or knew the answer, or whatever the case may be), I would raise my hand. This was so rare that of course I'd get called on. That wasn't a problem - the problem was the frequency.

Fast forward to now. I barely, if ever, talk in class. This is a problem in a Chinese class of 5 or 6 people. My problem is that my mind moves faster than my mouth, and as a result I have a profound stutter, usually when I'm surprisingly called on and have to think on my feet.

I usually don't talk, period. If I'm at lunch with a group of people, I'm more likely to sit and listen. I don't feel like talking, and I don't know why. When I do, I'm told I kinda mumble...and I have a speech impediment to boot, so I sound a bit like a character in The Departed.

I also have no filter and am very open-minded. People don't like that. I'd rather talk about deep, interesting things, and everyone is just so shallow. So I don't talk. If I had to pick a reason, it's that I just don't feel like it.



Sempiternal
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10 Apr 2012, 10:23 pm

I've been asked that countless times throughout my life. It's getting pretty old and annoying. So what if I'm quiet? It's not like I'm bothering them by not talking. I've been like this my whole life, and I don't see that part of me changing anytime soon. :roll:

When I was little, I guess I was quiet because I... I guess I just didn't get why I had to talk. It wasn't always because I was shy, and it certainly wasn't because I couldn't understand them or speak. I don't know, the idea that people expect you to talk in certain situations hadn't settled in my mind back then.

Now, I'm quiet because no one seems interested in what I have to say, and I can't always be interested in what they have to say either (but at least I listen to them when I know I should instead of telling them to shut up like they do when I'm talking). I'm also afraid of saying the wrong things, or butting into conversations at the wrong time. Though, it's mostly because I have no idea what to say to add on to a conversation!

Even if I do talk though, my voice just happens to be very soft most of the time.



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10 Apr 2012, 11:18 pm

muslimmetalhead wrote:
Aspies aren't quiet...we are annoying.


Speak for yourself. I'm an extremely quiet person, and I'm always careful not to bore or annoy people when I do talk to them. I learned long ago that most people don't give a rip about my interests.



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11 Apr 2012, 9:12 am

Yes, big time. I have had this question frequently. But funnily enough I don't get it as much as I used to. I'm no less quiet than before, but it's because I've found a niche more and more in social groups with more independent-minded Aspies who tend not to be particularly bold. I guess all the "why are you quiet?" questions or "you're awfy quiet" comments are another bold-shy thing. I despise these questions, and my hippocampus seems to recognise them as being in the stupid question category.



NullCoding
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11 Apr 2012, 9:44 am

Yeah...I've found myself in situations where people will say "You're really quiet," and I'll retort "Would you rather I was more like so-and-so and never shut up?" or "Maybe I don't get off on hearing my own voice all the time," and then they shut up.

Yes, I hang out with some crazy talkative people. :roll:


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namaste
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11 Apr 2012, 12:09 pm

quite people are generally very different they are sensitive, emotional, weird ideas and very eccentric with lot of superstitious beliefs if not then atleast they have lot of negative thoughts.....since i have been having quite friends only from childhood i found these things common among them and myself.


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AspieOtaku
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11 Apr 2012, 5:03 pm

I am kind of half and half I can be quiet all day and the next day I can be chatty and never shut up. I usually dont talk though unless someone is talking to me and when something truly catches my interest I will not shut up about it.


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muslimmetalhead
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12 Apr 2012, 7:02 pm

UnLoser wrote:
muslimmetalhead wrote:
Aspies aren't quiet...we are annoying.


Speak for yourself. I'm an extremely quiet person, and I'm always careful not to bore or annoy people when I do talk to them. I learned long ago that most people don't give a rip about my interests.


Ah, yes, but you've learned that over time, it's the same with me.

But Asperger's people are noted for that, boring people with your interests.


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Alexender
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12 Apr 2012, 9:15 pm

muslimmetalhead wrote:
UnLoser wrote:
muslimmetalhead wrote:
Aspies aren't quiet...we are annoying.


Speak for yourself. I'm an extremely quiet person, and I'm always careful not to bore or annoy people when I do talk to them. I learned long ago that most people don't give a rip about my interests.


Ah, yes, but you've learned that over time, it's the same with me.

But Asperger's people are noted for that, boring people with your interests.


People with asperger's are also noted with being quiet


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Smartalex
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14 Apr 2012, 2:27 am

Never been asked this question, I'm an outgoing NT.

Quietness is a warning sign and because people care they ask. Jerks take it and run BUT, it always starts and is asked out of concern.

Quietness resembles depression, abuse, sickness/nausea, tiredness, anxiety. Quietness also can indicate shyness. We care, that's why we ask. We care if you're shy and left out. Again, there are jerks that take this and run.

Dolphins look after dolphins and, they even see humans that are drowning and have saved people. The instinct is to help, same thing.



AngelKnight
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14 Apr 2012, 4:35 pm

myusername wrote:
hi
lol, i got asked this same question all the time. and i feel embarrased sometimes shrug :lol: how do i answer that? i never am sure what to say. or, 'you should talk more' annoys me too. -_-


Unless it's said in an obviously nasty way, smile and say "why thank you," as though you are delighted you were noticed for it. The results might be interesting.



Kalika
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15 Apr 2012, 6:03 pm

My daughter asked me almost that exact question recently, and my answer to her was that I sometimes have trouble speaking clearly, and get frustrated when I have to repeat myself.



lostgirl1986
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15 Apr 2012, 7:38 pm

Smartalex wrote:
Never been asked this question, I'm an outgoing NT.

Quietness is a warning sign and because people care they ask. Jerks take it and run BUT, it always starts and is asked out of concern.

Quietness resembles depression, abuse, sickness/nausea, tiredness, anxiety. Quietness also can indicate shyness. We care, that's why we ask. We care if you're shy and left out. Again, there are jerks that take this and run.

Dolphins look after dolphins and, they even see humans that are drowning and have saved people. The instinct is to help, same thing.


Exactly why I hang out with people who are like me or at least people why are understanding of me.



Smartalex
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15 Apr 2012, 7:43 pm

^^Ohhh. I see.